Shattering Reality
by A Star In My Universe
Summary: Piper Chapman is popular, gorgeous and has the world at her feet. Enter Alex Vause - a drug dealing, street smart lesbian who is willing to turn her world upside down. Things are about to get messy - and Piper is ready for all of it. Vauseman high school AU. Nichorello. Possibly slowish burn.
1. Chapter 1

Piper's leg bounced under the desk as she watched the clock, counting the seconds until class was over. It was Friday afternoon and as usual, she had a party to go to that evening. Her phone was already blowing up and she could feel it vibrating against her leg in her pocket. She was itching to leave and meet Polly where they always met - next to the steps down to the parking lot. When the bell rang signalling the end of class, Piper was the first one up, sliding her already stacked books into her backpack.

"Miss Chapman," the teacher called as the class filed out, "I need a word. Stay behind, please." Piper suppressed a groan and stole another glance to the clock as the last few people finally left, leaving her and Mrs Figueroa alone in the class. "It won't take long," she promised curtly. Piper pressed her lips together and tried not to show her irritation on her face.

"Okay," Piper said. She took a seat in front of the desk at the front of the class, and waited patiently for Mrs Figueroa to stop painstakingly stacking her papers.

"I'm not going to sugarcoat it," Mrs Figueroa said bluntly, sitting on the edge of her desk. Piper eyed the pencil skirt that strained over her legs. "You're flunking this class."

Piper's brow furrowed. "This one _too?"_

Her report card had not been one for the Christmas cards this year, to say the least. In previous years she'd been an overachiever. Getting an A had come easy to her, and she passed every class with flying colors. What had changed? Well…

"Yes, this one too," Mrs Figueroa sighed.

Piper had discovered the joys of partying, had gained a boyfriend, and had also started selling artisanal soaps with her best friend, Polly. They lost more money than they made, but spent more time making soap and discussing how great Larry was than she ever thought about school. As a result, her grades were slipping - and her parents were furious.

"Listen, Mrs Figueroa," Piper said, flashing a smile. "You think you can help me raise my grade? Any extra credit? You know, my dad helps funds the annual French trip."

"I know," Mrs Figueroa said, raising an eyebrow. "He mentioned it when he called to ask how you were doing in my class."

Piper's smile fell. "Oh."

" _Oh_ is right," she said, passing Piper her latest paper. She tapped the grade on the left hand corner, a bright red beacon of disappointment. "Redo this for Monday. You got a D."

"I can't," Piper said instantly. Her eyes flickered to the clock. Polly would be growing impatient by now. "I have a party. You must remember what it was like," she grinned.

Mrs Figueroa rolled her eyes. "The weekend is two days." Piper inwardly sighed. Had Mrs Figueroa forgotten what it was like to be _young?_ Sure, Friday was the night of the party - but Saturday would be all about sleeping it off, and Sunday would be filled with discussing the details with her friends. She didn't have time for _assignments!_ "Monday, my desk, Piper."

Piper didn't comment on the assignment. She was itching to leave, and arguing wouldn't help matters. "Can I go now, please?"

Mrs Figueroa nodded. "You think I wanna see you for longer than I have to either? Get out of here."

* * *

Nicky leaned against her car, taking another drag from her cigarette. She followed Alex's gaze and bit back a groan when she saw it was fixed on Piper Chapman. "You know, she's failing like every class."

"So?" Alex sighed. She tried the door handle, but Nicky hadn't opened it. Despite her eye roll, Nicky made no move to unlock the vehicle.

"So, I don't get why you like her. She's a fucking loser." Nicky threw the cigarette butt onto the floor and finally opened up the car, sliding into the driver's seat. Alex followed suit, bowing her head as Piper looked around.

" _You're_ failing like three classes," Alex pointed out, putting her feet up on the dash. She smirked. "Does that make you a loser too?"

"Nope," Nicky said, remaining unbothered and turning the key in the ignition without taking her eyes off of Piper. "I'm rebelling against the system."

"What if she's rebelling against the system too?" Alex proposesd.

Nicky shook her head. "Nah. Blondie's too busy selling her soaps to be part of anything bigger." Nicky exhaled, watching Piper starting to argue with someone on her phone. "The chick's got nothing in her head."

"You wanna argue that?" Alex asked. "What about Lorna? Her head's pretty and all but it's pretty fucking empty too."

Nicky swung out of the parking space, raising an eyebrow at Alex. "Lorna's good at lots of things. Maybe not academic, but trust me," she said, winking. "Lorna's a girl of many talents."

"Ugh. Spare me the details." Alex played with the ends of her hair for a moment, watching as Piper disappeared out of sight. "Are you going to the party tonight?"

"Fuck no," Nicky said. "They only ever have booze. And the cheap stuff." Alex rolled her eyes. She forgot how much of a drink snob Nicky could be. "I need something stronger. Here," Nicky said, rummaging in her glovebox. Alex shifted in her seat. She hated Nicky's driving; the girl never kept her eyes on the road for nearly as much time as Alex would have liked. But as the only one who could afford a car, she was stuck with her for the time being. The blonde pulled out a little baggie containing white powder. "Go without me," she said, tossing the baggie onto Alex's lap. "And have a real good time."

Alex stiffened as the baggie landed on her lap. She held it up, swinging it in the light, and shook her head. "I've told you - I don't do this shit."

"I know, I know," Nicky said, pulling into Alex's street. She cut the ignition. "You only sell it, right?"

"Shut the fuck up," Alex warned. She rolled her window up, glaring at Nicky. "I've told you. My mom _cannot_ know about this shit, okay?"

"And she's not already wondering where the cash is coming from?" Nicky flicked her wrist in the air dismissively. "She knows something's up. She's just ignoring it because you can keep the lights on now."

Alex blushed. Her home life was always a source of embarrassment, and although Nicky knew everything about her and didn't mean it rudely, the comment still stung. The truth always hurt. Alex pushed her glasses further up her nose. "Just don't mention it, okay? Diane and I have a...complicated relationship."

Nicky pursed her lips. "I know all about those, kid. My lips are sealed. Just don't fuck it all up at this party, okay? I know you like her and all, but she's got a boyfriend. Plus, you know, all the other terrible things about her. Straight girls fuck you up."

Alex opened the car door. "I know," she said quietly. Alex slipped the baggie into her pocket and stepped out of the car. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure. If you're not too hungover."

"No more hungover than you'll be strung out," Alex called back. Nicky flipped Alex off, starting the engine again.

"We'll see about that!"

* * *

Piper winced as the front door slammed behind her. It was a sign of things to come and she had an awful sense of foreboding in her stomach as she stepped quietly into the kitchen. There, both her mother and her father waited for her.

"Piper," Mrs Chapman said, shaking her head. "We've had another call from your teacher. You're failing French. For pity's sake, Piper, your grandmother taught you French when you were four years old! How are you failing?"

Piper sighed, letting her backpack slide down to the floor. "I'm sorry, mom."

"You're sorry? You're failing most of your classes! Do you have any idea what this school costs? We already have Cal failing, but you know him...he can't help it. Your father and I have higher hopes for you."

Piper tried not to smirk at the character assassination of her brother. She loved him, but by God he was annoying - and, admittedly, not the brightest spark either. "I'll try harder, daddy," Piper said, offering her sincerest smile to her father.

"I know you will," Mr Chapman said. "Because you're going to sit down with a tutor each night until your grades are up. No more parties, no more soap, and no more credit card until you're at least getting all Bs."

Piper's jaw worked hard as she processed the information. Her smile instantly darkened into a scowl. "You can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because…" Piper didn't have an answer, but it wasn't going to stop her. "Because you can't stop me going out!"

"Piper Elizabeth Chapman-" her father started, but the young girl threw down her jacket next to her backpack and stormed to her bedroom. She ignored the yelling behind her and slammed her bedroom door.

Stuffing the clothes and shoes she'd picked and her makeup into a bag, she flew down the stairs. Again she ignored the protests from her parents as she got into her car. Angrily, she shoved the key into the ignition. At least _Polly's_ mom would help curl her hair.

* * *

The drive to Polly's house was short. Piper slung her bag over her shoulder as she walked Polly's driveway. Knocking on the door, she was greeted by Mrs Harper.

"Oh," Mrs Harper said, looking confused but still smiling. "I wasn't expecting you, Piper." She threw a worried glance up the stairs, but opened the door to let Piper in.

Piper smiled. "Thanks, Mrs Harper! Is Polly in her room?"

"Yes," Mrs Harper confirmed. She hesitated for a second. "Go on up, honey."

Piper climbed the stairs two at a time and threw open the door to Polly's room. When she saw Brook Soso sitting on the bed, she did a double take. That bitch had been rude to her for months, not to mention the fact that she was weird as hell.

"Oh, hi, Piper," Polly said. She stopped applying makeup to Brook's face and offered Piper a guilty smile.

"Oh, hi," Piper said sarcastically. "You blew me off for _her?"_

"Listen, Piper," Polly sighed, but Piper had already reached for the door handle. "Don't go!"

"Save it, Polly!"

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Piper sat on Larry's bed. When she tried to shut the door, Larry stopped her. "Sorry," he said, ducking his head. "Open door policy."

Piper rolled her eyes. "I can't believe Polly. First she ditches me then she has _her_ round to do makeup! She looked like a five year old playing dress up." Larry nodded but didn't have anything to add, which only added to Piper's anger. "Aren't you gonna say something? Don't you think that's a shitty thing to do?"

Larry frowned and nodded. "Yeah, of course." He took Piper's hand; he never could understand the drama that Piper went through daily, nor could he often bring himself to care. It was always something with her, and he just wanted an easy life and a stress free senior year. "I'm sorry, Piper."

"It's okay," Piper said. "We just have to put on a united front." Her eyes shone. "The party tonight is gonna be amazing. I can't wait," she gushed. Then her eyes fell to his outfit - faded jeans and an old band t-shirt. "You're not wearing that, are you?"

He _had_ been planning to wear that, but he knew that look by now. "No," he sighed. "I'll change. Pick whatever you want."

Piper beamed. "You're a good boyfriend."

* * *

At the party, Piper hooked her arm through Larry's. He smiled at a guy walking past and pulled his arm away. "Listen, Piper...I have to tell you something."

"Can't it wait?" Piper asked. She waved at one of her friends on the other side of the room.

"My mom says I shouldn't hang out with you anymore," Larry continued, scratching the back of his neck. The beer bottle clutched in his right hand wasn't even half empty. "I didn't wanna tell you earlier. You were upset about Polly…" he groaned.

" _Hang out_ with me? What are you, twelve? We've been dating for two years, Larry." Piper's fist balled up by her side. She laughed. "Who cares what your mom thinks, anyway? My dad hates you."

"She says you're going to end up doing nothing with your life. Maybe in prison," he shrugs. "You're failing all of your classes. And...I don't know. I think she's right."

"Prison..?" Piper echoed. "What the fuck, Larry? I'm skipping science, not running a meth lab."

"Whatever," he said, shifting uncomfortably. "I just...I think we need a little time apart. You used to have a GPA of 4.0. Now you're wasting your time on other stuff...I don't know," he sighed. "I just miss who you used to be."

"You want time apart? You know what? Fuck you!" Piper snatched the beer bottle from him and took a swig. "I don't need you. I have a business. I have Polly!"

"Oh yeah?" Larry asked. "Where is Polly, anyways? You were complaining that she ditched you three hours ago."

Piper glared at him. "Seeing as we're not together anymore, _you_ don't have to worry about it."

* * *

Alex stood at the end of the driveway, watching the kids milling on the porch. The party was in full swing and she'd deliberately left late so that she wouldn't have to wait for the fun to start. She hated the start of parties where everyone stood awkwardly, waiting for the music to start or the kids to get drunk.

She cast her eyes around, and frowned she she caught a flash of red in a field across from the house. Alex looked around but saw no-one else, and she walked over to the fence separating the two areas. A playful smile lit up her features as she realized who the girl in the field was.

 _Piper._

Alex watched the blonde from the fence. She sat under a vast tree, the trunk supporting her bare back as she leaned against it. Her shapely legs were crossed, the red soles of her Louboutins facing Alex. If it weren't for the smudged makeup and the birds nest she called hair, she would have looked perfect. Alex leaned her arms over the fence, watching as Piper took another swig from the glass bottle. Her lips quirked upwards, and she wondered what other things the other girl hid under her perfect prissy persona.

She hopped the fence, for once thanking god for her tall stature, and looked over her shoulder. Everyone else at the party was enjoying themselves, getting drunk, and kissing girls and guys that they shouldn't. No-one was paying attention to either of them. Satisfied that she'd caught her alone, Alex crossed the field to where Piper was sitting. Leaving a little space, she leaned against the same tree trunk.

"Hey, blondie," Alex murmured. Her eyes drifted to the vodka bottle in Piper's hand. "Wanna share?"

Piper downed the last of the drink and then handed Alex the empty bottle. "Sure."

Alex chuckled softly. "Not very generous, are you?"

"I can't afford to be generous," Piper grumbled. She snatched the bottle back, fighting to get the last drops onto her tongue.

Alex scoffed. Her eyes fell to Piper's shoes, which probably cost more than her mom's car. She scraped her hair back, raising her eyebrows. "God help humanity if _you_ can't afford to be generous."

Piper clicked her heels together like Dorothy. "You're judging me based on these?" Piper bent her knees and hooked the shoes with her finger. "Here. Take 'em."

Alex laughed again. "I'm not taking your shoes."

"Why not? My mom will just confiscate them," she muttered. "I'm not even supposed to be at this stupid party. And Polly's ditched me, God knows where Larry is…" The blonde rolled her eyes and rested her head against the tree trunk. "Anyway," Piper said, trying to focus her eyes on the brunette she vaguely recognized. "What do you want? I've seen you around." She scanned her eyes down Alex's body, wondering how on earth someone who wore clothes from Target afforded to go to their school.

"I have a proposition," Alex admitted.

"Oh?" Piper said. She pushed her hair out of her eyes. "What's that, then?" She leaned dangerously close to the brunette. She'd heard rumors about her - about how she was poor, about how she was a lesbian, about all sorts of things...but the smell of her strawberry lip gloss drowned them all out.

Alex hesitated. The girl was totally out of it, but she had her interest - and that wasn't guaranteed when she was sober. Hell, even getting her to talk to her wasn't guaranteed when sober. She pulled out the little white baggie.

Piper pulled back. "Whoa," she said, holding her hands up. "I don't do drugs."

"Nor do I," Alex chuckled softly. "I sell them. You want an adventure, Piper?"

Piper stared at Alex, wide eyed. She opened her mouth and was about to decline, and then she thought of her parents. Of Polly. Of Larry. They all thought so little of her. Her parents didn't know what was going to hit them. Piper tucked a strand of hair into Alex's ear. "You bet I do," she whispered.

* * *

 ** _A/N:_**

 ** _This is my first multi-chapter Vauseman fic. It will have Nichorello too.  
Please leave me a review telling me what you think. I don't often write Vauseman, so let me know your thoughts._**

 ** _Hope you're all well._**

 ** _\- Star xo_**


	2. Chapter 2

Before she even opened her eyes, Piper knew that the room would be spinning. Her head pounded, every beat of every song from the previous night drilling into her eyes like a jackhammer as a migraine started to take over her senses.

"Morning, sunshine."

Piper's blue eyes snapped open, and she was faced with a pair of striking green eyes staring back at her. The alcohol had turned their meeting into a hazy fleeting glance, but Piper still remembered the way she'd made her feel. Last night, for the first time in a long time, she'd finally felt excited about life. But now...she looked around warily. How did she end up in a _car?_ Her eyes immediately flickered to the dash, which showed it was almost ten AM.

"Shit," she breathed, throwing her stuff into her bag, which was nestled by her side. Alex watched with an amused smile, throwing on her glasses haphazardly. "My parents are going to fucking kill me!" Piper said harshly. She glared at Alex as if it were her fault. "How come you don't have the hangover from hell?"

Alex raised an eyebrow teasingly, smiling through her own headache. "Not everyone's a drama queen," she said softly.

Piper pushed her hair out of her face, narrowing her eyes at Alex. "Watch it," she said, and Alex fought another smile. If the blonde was trying to be threatening, she was failing; Alex was reminded of a little feral kitten - hissing and spitting despite the fact it was an adorable ball of fluff. She pulled up the sweater Alex had thrown over her for warmth. It smelled so much like the brunette, and Piper wondered what perfume she used. It was sweet and warm, and Piper resisted the urge to bury her face in it. Her bravado fell around her feet as she asked, "Why are we in a car?"

Alex chuckled softly. "Because you were completely shitfaced. I wasn't gonna be the one explaining to mommy dearest why you couldn't walk a straight line." Alex hesitated, but decided not to tell Piper that _she_ had been the one who begged Alex to stay with her last night, and not to take her home.

" _Alex?" Piper had slurred, stumbling even though she had long taken off her heels and was walking the gravel driveway in bare feet. "Please stay with me."_

" _You need to go home," Alex said softly. She steered Piper by the elbows to her car, her heart twisting when the blonde leaned her head on Alex's chest. "Your mom will wonder where you are." It was only a guess, of course, but she assumed a girl like Piper would have a family. A good one, where her mom wondered why she didn't come home, with a dad who would carry her upstairs if she couldn't. A family who would probably care if their daughter came home blind drunk, but still would love her in spite of it._

 _Piper looked up at Alex. "You look sad."_

 _A small brief smile flickered onto Alex's face. "I'm not sad," she said, her voice breaking. "I'm just worried."_

" _Oh," Piper said, flippantly waving a hand. "Well, don't. My parents never worry about me," she said angrily. "Maybe this'll scare 'em a little." A tinkly laugh escaped, and Alex winced. It sounded so cruel. But then Piper fell into her arms a little more, having tripped over a rock, and stared up at Alex pleadingly. "Please don't take me home. Stay with me. You'll do that, won't you?"_

 _And despite every fiber of her being screaming at her not to, Alex had nodded. She even dared to plant a kiss on Piper's forehead, and she didn't resist. "Of course I will. I'll look after you," she promised._

"I need to get home," Piper said suddenly. She slipped out of the back seat and slid into the driver's seat, and Alex followed suit, sitting in the front passenger side. She faced Alex. "Listen, it's been...interesting talking to you," Piper said, pressing her lips together. "But I really do have to get home."

"Really?" Alex asked doubtfully. Piper hadn't worried about getting home last night. In fact, she had no qualms about staying out all night. "You've changed your tune," Alex said defensively.

"I know." Piper offered no more explanation, but she did have one. Her grandmother would be visiting today, and although the woman was odd and had quirks just like every other member of her family, she adored her. She bit her lip and hoped she hadn't arrived yet; she would only worry about her youngest granddaughter, and it made Piper feel awful when she upset her grandmother.

She rubbed the back of her neck and sat up, shaking her hair out of the messy bun she didn't remember throwing it up into. She watched Alex for a moment, and then sighed. "You need a ride home?"

Alex nodded wordlessly. The morning light had made the truth abundantly clear - Piper didn't care about her, or at least, that was the thought swirling around Alex's head. On the inside, she laughed. _Why_ should she? Piper barely knew her. But it didn't stop the sting of rejection.

Piper noticed the shift in attitude, and shifted in her own seat. She swallowed hard, finding it difficult to put aside every notion she had preconceived about Alex before she met her. "Do…" she paused, taking a deep breath. "Do you wanna meet up later, maybe?"

"I can't," Alex said reluctantly. She picked at a frayed edge on the seat belt behind her, and although Piper noticed, she didn't say anything. As much as she resisted it, she found the brunette fascinating. "I'm meeting Nicky later."

"Nichols?" Piper said, her nose wrinkled. She rolled her eyes, and the "I don't care" attitude was betrayed by her irritated expression. "Why are you friend with _her?"_

Alex held back a laugh - Nicky would have asked the same question about Piper, and Alex would have given the same, plain answer. "Because I like her."

"Well," Piper said, jutting her chin out, " _I_ don't. She's a weirdo, you know - she totally hit on one of my friends and then got angry when she rejected her. She's straight, obviously." Piper rolled her eyes again, and even pissed off, she looked pretty. Alex could even see past the shit she was spouting from those _beautiful_ rosebud lips.

"Oh, she hits on everyone," Alex said easily, running a hand over her aching neck. "Don't take it personally. You know, unless you want to."

"I wouldn't," Piper said scathingly, resting her cheek on her hand. "But she didn't hit on me, like I said."

" _Oh_ ," Alex said with a laugh. "Is that what you're upset about?" She patted Piper's hand and was secretly delighted when the blonde didn't pull it away. "Don't worry. It'll happen at some point. She can't help herself."

"Of course not," Piper said, her face flushing a rosy pink. Piper turned to face the front, and made the engine roar to life with a flick of her wrist. She glanced at Alex, ready to be home. "Just let me know where to turn."

* * *

Nicky clicked her tongue in annoyance. "Really, Alex?"

Nicky might not have known it, but she had that whole disappointed mother look down pat, and Alex squirmed under her everwatchful gaze. "Even Sylvie was better than her, and that bitch was absolutely crackers."

Alex rubbed her head and glared at Nicky. "You _liked_ her at the time," Alex insisted. "You thought she was fun."

Although she had known Nicky hated Piper for everything she represented, and also for some little feud they'd had unbeknownst to her, she had truly though that Nicky would have been pleased for Alex when she told her.

Nicky licked the cheeto dust from her fingers and ignored Alex's look of disgust. She hated the toxic looking snack and wrinkled her nose in distaste when Nicky shook the packet in her direction. "I thought she was fun when she was high and laughing at clouds." Nicky gave Alex a pointed look. "I liked her less when she was high and waving a fucking gun around."

Alex glared. "Keep it down! My mom's downstairs. I don't want her hearing all of that shit." Alex pushed her glasses up her head and rubbed her eyes. "It was hard enough keeping it from her at the time."

"Don't I know it," Nicky said dramatically, throwing her head back. "That woman can smell trouble like a bloodhound. It's impressive, really."

"She's just worried Lee will stop paying my school fees if I get in anymore trouble. You know what the principal said - one more strike and you're out." Alex groaned. "He marries a white picket wife and suddenly it's all _I have a reputation to uphold, Diane, control your daughter!_ And _if she lived with us, this wouldn't be happening!"_ Alex laughed, but Nicky frowned. "If I lived with them, I'd fucking kill myself."

"Yeah…" Nicky said, resigned. "Nell's a bitch."

"Don't _I_ know it," Alex echoed. She exhaled hard through her nose, and Nicky threw the cheeto packet on Alex's desk and flopped down on her bed.

"So…" Nicky said after a moment. "What are you gonna do now?"

"I'm gonna show them," Alex said determinedly. "I'm gonna make a shit ton of money and pay my own school fees."

Nicky couldn't help but laugh. Growing up around business people gave Nicky a little more insight than the average teen, and she saw a flaw in Alex's plan that she was blind to. "What, you're gonna launder your money through a lemonade stand? Or your Saturday job at the ice cream store?" Nicky offered Alex a sympathetic glance, but shrugged her shoulders. She sat with her legs up against the wall and her head dangling off of the bed, staring up at Alex. "Sorry, Al, but until you're eighteen, you're fucked. Stuff the money under your mattress and save it for a plane ticket. Or two. I'd come with you to the Bahamas." She considered for a moment. "Unless you're taking Blondie. I don't wanna be a third wheel."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Speaking of Blondie, I blew her off to spend time with you. You could at least be a little grateful," she said begrudgingly.

"What the fuck?" Nicky sat up. "I don't like her, but you do! I'm here all day, Vause. Trust me. I don't wanna go back to Marka anymore than you wanna spend time with Lee."

Alex raised her eyebrows. "Fair point."

"So go get her!" Nicky encouraged. She smirked. "I'm sure I can fill my time," she said, pulling out her phone. "Lorna's usually free on Saturdays, I'm sure we can find _something_ to do."

Alex laughed and rolled her eyes. "Spare me the details!" Then she bit her lip, throwing a concerned glance to Nicky. "I don't even know her phone number."

"Yeah...that might be a problem." Nicky slammed her hand down on the bed and raised her eyebrows. "Do it the old fashioned way, go to her house." Alex looked unsure, but Nicky jumped up from the bed and gave her a little shove towards the door. "Go!"

Alex dissolved into laughter, and finally gave in. "Okay! Okay, I'll go to her house. I think I know where it is. We went to that party one time."

"Yeah, one and only. What a snoozefest."

"Oh, please. Not every party needs drugs."

"Says the drug pusher!"

"I'm _not_ a drug pusher," Alex insisted, a grin lighting up her features. "I'm just a businesswoman."

"Mhm," she said, flashing Alex a grin of her own. "And I'm sober right now."

* * *

Alex circled the same street four times before she got the courage to walk up her driveway. She rubbed her hands together nervously, her clammy fingers clenching anxiously. It didn't help that the driveway was a short walk of its own. She cleared her throat as she walked it, practising what she would say.

"Hi, I'm Alex," she said, the words feeling so unnatural. "Hi, Mrs Chapman. I'm Alex." She shook her head. "No, that doesn't sound right," she said worriedly. "Oh, hi, Mr Chapman! I'm here for Piper." She groaned audibly at her own insecurities, and then finally knocked on the door.

When it hadn't opened after about a minute, Alex thought about turning around. Just as she was about to, the door flew open. Piper stood at the door, and her mouth opened and closed a couple of times before anything was said. When something _was_ finally said, it wasn't either of them who said it.

"What's _she_ doing here?"

Alex looked beyond Piper to see where the voice came from. Her stomach clenched when she saw her. _Polly._ She forced herself to smile. Piper didn't return the gesture. In fact, she did nothing except look terrified. Piper turned to Polly, and then turned back to Alex.

"Oh, um...she's here for a project!" Piper said. "We got paired for French."

The worried teen waited with baited breath to see if Alex would play along. Polly could _not_ know they were friends. Alex felt her confidence and heart shattering into a thousand pieces at the thought of Piper being ashamed to be seen with her, and swallowed hard.

"Bonjour," Alex whispered.

Piper's face flooded with relief, and Polly groaned behind her. "Unlucky!"

Alex jutted her chin out at the insult, but couldn't find it in herself to say anything back. All words and insults that she could have hurled back seemed to stick in her throat, and she only really cared about what Piper said anyway. The aforementioned blonde simply shot Polly a warning look and gave a sympathetic smile to Alex when Polly turned her back.

Alex waited until Polly had got into her car and driven away until she turned away too. She didn't want Piper to see the tears welling in her eyes. Yes, she was used to being an outcast, especially at a school like the one they went to, but it didn't make it hurt any less. And she had been stupid enough to think Piper was different. _Ha._ How wrong could she be.

"Alex, wait," Piper said. "Please don't go."

Alex wiped her cheek roughly and then turned to face Piper again. "Why not?" Alex demanded. "You know what, fuck her! Excuse my French," she added sarcastically. "I thought you weren't even friends anymore."

"We weren't. She just turned up, I didn't know she would…"

"Well, you've got her. You don't need me."

"Please, Alex. Just stay for a bit. She's gone, isn't she?" Piper pleaded, even though she didn't know why. She never begged. She never needed anyone. And yet here she was, feeling like the world would stop if she didn't prove to this girl - by all accounts, a loser, someone who lived in a totally different world to Piper - that she _did_ care.

"No!" Alex said. "I've had enough of people who just use me. If you don't want me around, then I'll go. It's no problem." Alex let her eyes close, feeling a headache pounding at her temples. Before she got the chance to open her eyes again, she felt a pair of lips crashing down on her own. She let her eyes flutter open to see Piper's closed eyes, her face pressed so close to hers that she could feel her hair tickling her collarbone.

It was cliche, but she felt sparks. Her heart thumped under her sweater, and she snaked her hands around Piper's back. She had dreamed about this for so long, and she let her hands wander over Piper's waist. The feeling of her cold hands seemed to snap Piper out of it. She pushed Alex back, stumbling over her own feet. Piper wiped her mouth, and looked at Alex, open mouthed.

"I, um...I…" Piper rambled, her blue eyes wider than Alex had ever seen. After a moment of Alex saying nothing and Piper trying desperately to find the words, _any words,_ to say, Piper pushed Alex out of the door. "I'm sorry, that should have _never_ happened," she stammered, slamming the door.

Alex stared at the closed door. Her hand went to her lips, which by now were covered in strawberry lip gloss. She could taste it, and it was the only thing making her believe that the kiss had really just happened. Even though the door had slammed in her face, she couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face. She was hurt, and pissed, but the kiss had been salved her pain somewhat.

Alex turned around and walked down the driveway, making her way home. She felt like she was in a weird bubble, the faint taste of strawberry the only thing reminding her that it was real, that it _had_ happened.

Man, what a day!

 _ **A/N:**_

 ** _I hope you liked this chapter.  
I know it's been a while _****_like over a month, whoops_** ** _but it's here now.  
Please tell me what you thought in a review and what you'd like to see. As I said, this is my first Vauseman multichap and only second Vauseman fic ever so...not used to this ship!  
Thank you so much for the reviews and follows/favorites. It means so much! _**

**_\- Star xo_**


	3. Chapter 3

_Shit._ That was the first thought Piper had as she leaned against her front door, her heart thudding like galloping horses. _Why_ had she done that? She didn't even like the girl...did she? Piper peeked out of the net curtain that covered the window and watched as Alex stood, and then, after a tiny pause, walked away.

A thousand thoughts ran through her head. _She could tell anyone! Everyone's gonna know, and then what?_ And although all of those thoughts unsettled her, there was one that upset her the most. The thought that she couldn't shake, no matter how hard she tried to banish it from her head. _When can I see her again?_

Piper groaned as she slammed her bedroom door behind her. Polly's voice rang in her ears. _What's she doing here?_ She gritted her teeth as she wondered why she'd let Polly speak to her like that. It wasn't like _she_ had been there for her when she was blackout drunk.

And yet, when her mom called up the stairs asking, "Who was at the door, Piper?" she couldn't bring herself to explain to her mom any more than she'd explained to Polly.

"A cold caller," Piper muttered.

"What were they selling?" Mrs Chapman called up. Piper rolled her eyes - like her mother would ever buy anything from anyone selling at the front door anyway.

"Drugs," Piper called back softly, a smirk playing on her lips as she wondered what her mom would really think of Alex. Hell, she didn't even know what _she_ really thought of Alex. Not yet, anyway.

"What was that, darling?" Mrs Chapman replied.

Piper huffed. "Rugs, mom! They were selling rugs."

* * *

Nicky raised her eyebrows as she swung the door open to Alex standing on her doorstep. She took one look at her and smirked. "You look like the cat that got the cream," she remarked. "Or should I say pussy."

"Cat is fine," Alex said, wrinkling her nose. She shot Nicky a roll of her eyes as they made their way up to her bedroom, but if Nicky caught it, she didn't react.

"Wasn't the word I was replacing, but okay," Nicky said, laughing. "You're smooth, Vause, I'll give you that."

Alex sighed. "Nothing happened, not really," she admitted. "I mean, she kissed me, but it was only a peck." She ignored the taste of Piper's lip gloss, still present on her lips and burned into her memory, and shrugged.

"You struck out," Nicky concluded, opening the door to her bedroom. Lorna sat on the bed, a sheet pulled up over her otherwise nude body. Upon seeing Alex, she scrabbled at the sheet, pulling it around her more tightly and glaring at Nicky.

"You said you'd get rid of whoever it was!" Lorna hissed. Then, turning her attention to Alex, she smiled, her cheeks burning. Lorna could never stay mad for long. "Hi, honey, hope your date went well!"

 _So they've been talking about me,_ the taller girl thought. "Oh, it wasn't a date…" Alex trailed off as Nicky slid down on the bed next to Lorna, smirking.

"You know I can't turn my girl away," Nicky said, looking as though butter wouldn't melt. "Besides, she's seen it all before. You don't remember skinny dipping at the lake last summer?"

Lorna's already pink cheeks tinged a deeper beetroot and she tucked the sheet under her armpits to keep it up. "Listen, I was pretty drunk," Lorna explained. "You shouldn't have let me! A turtle bit me in a very uncomfortable place," she complained, wincing at the thought of it. Nicky looked at her with a grin on her face, running her foot along Lorna's hairless, bare leg.

"Stopped you?" Nicky laughed. "I jumped in after you."

Alex watched the two girls joke back and forth. Despite Lorna telling Nicky off, she could tell that there was a real bond between the two. Not just lust, _love._ It made her stomach twist as she listened to them. She'd never had anything like it; even with Sylvie, it was just a bit of fun. Neither of them had really taken it seriously. And Sylvie was off her face for most of the relationship, anyway.

It was something she'd always wanted, but had never managed to get. Nicky leaned against Lorna, and Lorna's manicured hands began to rake through Nicky's mane of hair. Before anything else started, Alex cleared her throat.

"I'm gonna leave you two to it," she said. Lorna looked up in surprise, and then checked her phone.

"Oh, don't do that, sweetie. I have to get going now anyways," she giggled. "Christopher has booked us a table at the new restaurant that opened in town. It's Italian! He knows me so well."

If she noticed Nicky stiffen, she didn't react. Indeed she seemed oblivious to the roll of Nicky's eyes and the way she leaned away from the brunette. Alex glanced at her in sympathy, but Nicky looked away. "You'd better get going then," Nicky replied flatly. Her whole demeanor changed, and Alex's heart ached for her best friend. Rejection was always hard - mixed messages, though, were even harder to navigate.

Lorna pecked her on the cheek, brushing away blonde hair from Nicky's eyes. She was too busy pulling on her jeans to notice Nicky's glassy eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay, honey?"

"Sure," Nicky said, nodding. "See ya tomorrow, doll." Again, Lorna didn't notice the way her voice caught in her throat. But Alex did, and she crossed her arms as Lorna passed her, not returning the gesture when the small Italian gently squeezed her arm.

The door slammed behind Lorna, and Alex glanced at Nicky. Nicky didn't say anything, but stared at Alex wordlessly.

"Can I sit?" Alex asked.

Nicky shrugged. "Since when do you ask?"

Both girls sat with their shoulders touching, and Alex pushed her glasses up her forehead to rest on her head. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Nicky lied, glancing out of her window and watching Lorna hailing a cab to go on her date. The blonde lit a cigarette, despite Marka's and the rental agreement rules, and inhaled deeply.

"What about...you know," Alex said vaguely. Nicky glanced over at her. "Lorna's boyfriend."

Nicky took another drag from her cigarette, tipping the ash into a trinket dish Marka had given her for her thirteenth birthday. "He's not even her boyfriend," she said dismissively. "He's just some poor moron that she's obsessed with."

Alex raised her eyebrows, but didn't say anything. Whilst she didn't know if Nicky was telling the truth, she couldn't be sure she wasn't, either. Lorna went to the school on the other side of town and Christopher was some boy in her English class. Alex had heard all of this, and had wondered what the fuck Lorna thought she was doing to Nicky, but the blonde seemed to take it in her stride. On the surface, at least.

"Straight girls, eh?" Nicky said, rolling the cigarette in between her fingers. "They'll fuck you up, I'm telling you." Nicky looked up at Alex, who was looking down at her worriedly. She waved a hand in the air. "Eh, but I'm sure your straight girl is fine. What went wrong, anyway?"

"She kissed me," Alex said, and Nicky quirked an eyebrow up. "And then she slammed the door in my face."

"Ah man. Fuck her, you know? Don't worry about it, Al."

Alex nodded, but bit on her thumbnail. She might not _worry_ about it, but she would spend a hell of a lot of time thinking about it. "Don't give me any ideas," Alex smirked.

Nicky blew out another cloud of smoke and laughed. "There's the Vause I know."

* * *

Piper worked up the nerve to knock on Alex's door. The scrunched up piece of paper in her hand showed this as her address. She'd found it hours earlier, she was ashamed to admit, by scrolling through Alex's Instagram and finding a photo of her house. To her embarrassment, it wasn't even location tagged. Actually finding the address had been a feat on its own.

But now, even after those hours of _will I, won't I_ she was beginning to cave. She wasn't sure what was scarier; the inside of Alex's house, or more specifically, the occupants of it, _or_ the neighborhood in which she lived. Piper was used to manicured lawns and doorbells that chimed _Fur Elise._ She _wasn't_ used to junkies hovering in alleyways and screeching urban foxes. She hopped foot to foot and whispered to herself. "Just do it, Piper...knock on the damn door.."

She rubbed her wrist anxiously, pleased that her scarlet trench coat covered her newest Pandora necklace, but worried nonetheless. After a few more minutes of contemplating - and a close encounter with a homeless man - Piper quickly rapped on the door.

A raven haired woman answered, clad in only a robe that looked like silk but was most likely polyester, and raised her eyebrows. "What are you, a girl scout?" She looked around Piper, trying to see if anyone was with her. "We don't want any cookies."

Piper stumbled on her words, wondering if she was serious. "What? No, I'm not a girl scout," she stammered. She grappled with the piece of paper in her hand, where she'd scrawled Alex's address - or what she _thought_ was Alex's address. She stood up a little straighter, hoping to not show how small she felt. "I thought Alex lived here, Alex Vause."

"What's it to you?" The woman replied. Then, betraying any doubt she'd planted in Piper's mind, she turned and called, "Alex! There's someone at the door for you. God knows what for."

"I'm...I'm just a friend," Piper said. She hoped she hadn't got Alex in trouble - truthfully, she'd lost track of time and the glow of the moon told her it was far later than what was polite.

Alex ran down the stairs. Piper eyed the creaking staircase, wondering if it was safe to walk down, let alone run down. She was dressed only in her pajamas, a pair of shorts and a mismatched tank top. Nothing like Piper's matching, floral pajamas that her mom had bought her from Barney's. But on her, somehow, it worked.

"Piper?" Alex said, squinting without her glasses. Her hair fell down her shoulders in wet waves, and her face was bare. Piper still thought she looked beautiful, and felt self conscious in her full face of makeup. "What are you doing here?" Before Piper had the chance to answer, Alex glanced at her mom. "I've got this, mom," she murmured. "It's just a friend from school."

"Sorry to disturb you, Mrs Vause," Piper said, offering the still irritated looking woman a smile. Her smile always won over adults.

"There's nothing _Mrs_ about me," she snapped back. Piper's smile faltered. _Almost_ always. "I'll leave you two to it. Alex, invite her in. You know that guy's been hanging around lately. Close the damn door, okay?"

Despite her sharp tongue, Alex smiled easily at her mother and Piper got the impression that the two were close. She never had that with her mom. The blonde watched as Not-Mrs Vause walked away, swallowing hard.

"Sure, mom. Piper...come on in," she said, not quite knowing what to make of the unexpected visitor. She bit her lip. The living room was in a state - _as always,_ Alex thought bitterly, remembering Piper's perfect home - and her bedroom was a tiny box room with barely space for a bed. But it was private and clean, and it was Alex's safe space. She gestured for Piper to follow and opened up her bedroom door. "It's not like your house here," Alex said bluntly. "But you can sit down, if you want to."

To Alex's surprise, Piper sat down on the bed immediately. She didn't even appear to look at the sheets with much detail before throwing herself down. "I like the decor."

"Thanks," Alex said warily. "I painted it myself."

"It's lovely," Piper said genuinely. And then she faced Alex head on as she sat down next to her. "But I'm not here to talk color schemes."

"Oh?" Alex said, almost mockingly. She wasn't sure what to make of the unannounced visit, and her guard was up.

"Your proposition," Piper said. "Is it still on the table?"

Alex uncrossed her arms. She was surprised Piper even remembered any of that night, let alone daring to believe she was considering it. Half of her wanted to jump at the chance to spend more time with her - but it had been a pipe dream. Something she'd never dreamed of getting Piper involved in, not really. It wasn't a game for the weak, and Alex had been burned before. She hesitated. Drugs were a hard business.

"Well?" Piper prompted.

Alex pushed her hair back. "Okay," she said finally. Even if she just kept her around for kicks, and didn't give her any real responsibility, they'd be spending time together….Alex wanted to kick herself for wanting that, but she desperately did. "Yeah," she said. "Okay. Meet me by the lockers on Monday."

"And Alex?" Piper said. Alex's tummy did a flip when she said her name, but she forced herself to keep a straight face.

"Yeah?"

"This is strictly business. Deal?"

"Deal."

Alex held her hand out, and Piper shook it for the briefest of moments. And though Piper looked like an angel, Alex couldn't shake the feeling that she'd just made a deal with the devil. A beautiful, enchanting devil.

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_

 _ **Hi lovelies! I hope you enjoyed.  
Please let me know what you thought. Thoughts, ideas, constructive criticism, questions, I want to hear it all!  
It really inspires me to write the next chapter.  
Thank you for all the lovely responses so far. **_

_**Hope you're all well.**_

 _ **\- Star xo**_


	4. Chapter 4

Alex pulled on the sleeve of her sweater as she stared at Piper out of the car window on Monday morning. She narrowed her eyes as she noticed her crossing and uncrossing her legs, tucking her hair behind her ears and looking around herself.

"What's got Blondie in a twist?" Nicky asked, her gaze falling on Piper. She cocked an eyebrow, nudging Alex when she didn't reply. "I guess her soap business is going down the drain."

Alex rolled her eyes as Nicky chuckled at her own joke. She pressed her lips together, throwing a glance in Nicky's direction, and then sighed. "I may have inadvertently...given her a job."

Nicky switched off the radio, her attention fully on Alex. "You what?" Nicky smirked. "What, she's gonna be a cheerleader? Hmm," Nicky said, running her finger along the edge of her jaw in mock thought, "I'm not sure many things rhyme with heroin."

Alex groaned, turning to face Nicky. "I have no fucking idea what she's gonna do. I'm gonna have to make a job for her or something."

Nicky looked over Alex's shoulder for only a split second, but long enough for Alex to notice her gaze sliding off to the side.

"What?" the brunette asked, turning. She suppressed a sigh when she saw Piper's face at the window.

"Alex, hi!" Piper murmured, getting cut off as Nicky promptly closed the window with a press of her finger. Nicky grinned, unable to stop a laugh from bubbling out of her mouth.

"Nicky," Alex said sharply, undoing it again. The window opened painfully slowly as Piper's confused face showed through the slightly tinted glass.

Piper raised her eyebrows, a smile lighting up her face. Alex couldn't help but stare at her lips, the cherry pink color she'd applied to them this morning making them pop. "Oh…" Piper stopped, tilting her head at Nicky. She lowered her voice to a stage whisper. "Does she..you know, does she know?"

Nicky's eyebrows knitted together. "Do I know what?" she asked, resting her arm on the steering wheel. "Wait...all those late night phone calls, the shifty looks in the hallways, you always knowing when I'm high...you're dealing drugs!"

Piper opened and closed her mouth a few times before shaking her head. "Of course she's not!" she stammered, throwing a look of terror to Alex.

Alex rolled her eyes. "She's joking," she said. "She thinks she's funny." She pressed her lips together. "But, you know," Alex sighed, "Maybe next time, don't ask someone if they know. If they don't, they might after."

"Oh," Piper said, feeling stupid. It was something she never felt, and she hated the way it chipped away at her bravado. She bit her lip. "I didn't think."

"Why break the habit of a lifetime?" Nicky said, throwing a smile in Piper's direction. Piper glared at her.

Piper's gaze fell to Alex, the scowl still painted on her face. "Are you gonna let her talk to me like that?"

Alex pushed her glasses further up her nose. "Oh...yes," Alex said, her forehead creasing. Nicky's snicker from beside her and Piper's glare darkening told her that was the wrong answer despite her not meaning to be rude - Nicky simply wouldn't listen even if she did tell her. "I mean, no. Nicky, be nice," she said.

Nicky raised her eyebrows. "This is my car, Blondie. Paws off."

"Of the car, or of Alex?" Piper retorted. "Everyone knows you had a thing for me. But you don't have to be jealous."

Nicky rolled her eyes, totally unfazed. It bothered Piper that she couldn't get under her skin, but she didn't let it show. She glanced at Alex. "Listen. She was a seven pointer! I couldn't pass that one up."

Piper narrowed her eyes. "A seven pointer? What is that? Some kind of lesbian slang?"

Nicky laughed at the comment, chewing on her thumbnail. "If that's what you wanna call it, sure. We were having a bang off."

"A bang off?" Piper echoed, her forehead creasing. "You know what, I don't even wanna know."

Nicky cocked her eyebrow. "Bold of you to assume I was gonna tell you."

"Whatever."

Alex sighed. "Anyway," she said, interrupting their glare off. "We need to get to class."

"You didn't tell me what my job was."

Alex shifted in her seat, bunching up the material on her jeans as he thought. "Oh, don't worry about that…" she scratched her eyebrow. "Everything's under control."

Piper looked at Alex plainly, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "If you're not gonna let me do anything, why would you hire me?"

Alex hid a smile at her term. 'Hire' wouldn't have been the word Alex would have used, but she went with it. "I will let you do things," she said, offering her a small smile. "But you wouldn't let me make soap with no training, would you? And soap doesn't come with a rap sheet."

Piper exhaled through her nose, but conceded. "I guess not," she said reluctantly. She shifted her bag to her other arm and looked at Alex expectantly. "So when does my training begin?" she asked eagerly.

Alex ignored Nicky's snicker. "Tonight, my house."

"I'll be there!" Piper said, her eyes sparkling. "What time?"

"Five," Alex said without missing a beat. It would give her enough time to get home and if she was lucky, Diane wouldn't be. She never could tell what her mom's hectic schedule would be. "But don't park your car outside." Alex cringed as she thought of Piper stepping out of her car, barely a year old and without a scratch on it, outside of her house.

"Sure," Piper said, making a mental note to park round the block. "See you at five then, Alex...Nicky, see you in hell."

Nicky rolled her eyes. "Not if I see you first."

Piper checked her phone as she pulled up just outside the cul-de-sac where Alex lived. Her car blended in here, with all the others. She slipped on her coat and opened her car door, gently slamming it shut.

Her heels crunched under the gravel as she counted down the houses to Alex's. Not that she wouldn't recognize it, with its rickety steps and broken window pane, but it gave her something to do. She ignored her phone buzzing; it would be Polly, and she didn't want to hear from her, not now. They were supposed to be making another batch of soap, but seeing as she was banned from that, this was a nifty loophole. Her parents hadn't banned her from drug dealing, she thought with a smirk.

The brand new shoes she'd bought with the one credit card her dad hadn't cancelled yet were beginning to rub at the back of her heels, and she winced as she limped up the small overgrown path to Alex's house. As soon as she rapped on the door, it swung open.

"Come on in," Alex said, pushing wet hair back against her head. She was wearing her glasses but her face was bare otherwise, all makeup washed off. A smile ghosted Piper's features. The brunette looked younger, softer, without makeup. "Sorry about my face," she said, ducking her head as if reading Piper's thoughts. "I had a shower."

What Alex didn't say is why she had a shower. She'd gotten so hot and sweaty - unfortunately not in a fun way. When she'd arrived home, the whole place had been turned upside down. It wasn't an unusual sight - Diane could be unpredictable. But with the tidying and the rushing around, she hadn't had time to blow dry her hair and apply makeup again. She felt almost naked without it, and weirdly self-conscious, but tried to style it out with a smile.

Piper nodded, seemingly unfazed. "Makeup makes me feel like my face is suffocating, anyways."

Alex raised her eyebrows. Of all the things she could have said, she wasn't expecting that.

Piper hesitated. "But then you have beautiful skin," she continued, thankful for the makeup despite hating the feel of it, for it hid the blush that grazed her cheeks. "Sorry, that was weird."

"No…" Alex said, letting a smile creep onto her lips. The only comment she'd ever had about her skin came from her stepmom - sweetie, you'd get lost in a snow storm...how about some bronzer? "No-one's said that to me before. Thank you."

Piper circled her foot in front of her, trying to lessen the ache. "That's okay. I meant it."

Alex looked down at her feet. "They look painful," she said, stepping aside. "Come in, you can sit down. Make yourself at home."

"Mi casa es su casa?" Piper teased, kicking off her shoes and leaving them in the hallway.

"Sure," Alex laughed, raising her eyebrows at the shoes kicked to the side.

"Sorry!" Piper trilled, letting a laugh escape. She rolled her eyes. "Miss Claudette is always complaining about my shoes."

Alex's eyebrows kept on rising. "Miss Claudette?"

"Our maid," Piper said easily. "Well, cleaning lady. She's great at her job...can be a little intense, though."

Alex smiled. Intense was the right word for everything about Piper. But beneath the smile, there was a yearning. There had been days where they could barely afford to eat, yet some families could pay to have their junk picked up after them. "Come on," she said, another smile playing on her lips. "I have everything set up."

Piper followed Alex without complaint. In the living room, Alex had turned the coffee table into an inventory of her stock. Little baggies were lined up, some filled with powder, some filled with pills. Piper stared in awe.

"You've got...a variety," Piper said after a moment, peeking up at Alex through her eyelashes. "Do you really have that many...um...customers?"

"Yep," Alex said, rolling her eyes. Everyone had their poison. "Even people you don't expect."

Piper's eyes shone. "Like who?"

Alex tapped her nose. "Don't worry about it. I don't reveal my customers. It's all very confidential, you know?"

"But I'm your partner."

Alex laughed. "No, you work for me."

Piper glowered. "But you hired me for a reason," she whined.

Alex smiled. Not the reason you think, she thought. "And if I fire you, you'd tell everyone who was buying from me."

"Why would you fire me?"

I wouldn't, Alex wanted to say. But instead, she shrugged. "Creative differences?" she suggested. "Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. Maybe later on."

"Fine," Piper relented. She sat down next to the coffee table despite the cold floor - it was freezing outside but the heating was costly, and in a house as draughty as Alex's, she didn't make the decision to switch it on lightly - and shook one of the baggies like a snow globe. "It's mesmirising," Piper commented.

"Even better when you smoke it," Alex said. "But don't," she added quickly. "That shit is expensive. And getting hooked isn't smart." She thought of Nicky, who swore she wasn't addicted. She hated the habit, despite peddling it for others, but there was nothing she could do for her.  
"I won't," Piper promised. And then she jumped as she heard footsteps.

Diane stood in the doorway, sizing Piper up. Piper's gaze was stuck on Alex, who made no attempt to hide the baggies of white powder in front of her. Piper's own hand was behind her back. Diane raised an eyebrow. "What are you girls up to?"

Piper opened her mouth, but Alex beat her to it. "Science project," she said, her tone nonchalant. She pushed her glasses up her nose to look at her mom. "Me and Piper are seeing how baking soda reacts with different acids." She picked up a bottle of vinegar from the floor and shook it.

Inside, she groaned. Her mom wasn't supposed to be home yet, at least she hadn't thought so.

"You're making volcanoes?" Diane asked, taking a drag from her cigarette. She eyed the powders, but didn't come any closer. "What, they think you're fucking stupid? You did that when you were seven."

Piper's eyes rounded at the language, but Alex didn't seem fazed. Her mom would rather poke pins in her eyes than speak that way in front of guests and tarnish her perfect reputation.

The brunette just smiled. "You know how Mr O'Neal is. He thinks we're still in the second grade."

"Need any help?" Diane asked, her voice rising hopefully. A smile lit up her own features, and she stubbed out the cigarette. "We had so much fun with that volcano," she said proudly. She nodded at Piper. "Alex won first prize at the science fair. I still have that ribbon around somewhere…"

Alex's smile slipped for a moment, and a little too quickly she said, "No! That's okay, mom," she said. "It's less of a volcano and more of an experiment. Pretty boring."

Diane forced a smile. "Okay, sweetie. Let me know when you're done and I'll start dinner. Is your friend staying?"

Piper stayed silent but glanced at Alex, her eyes full of questions. Was her mom really that oblivious? Piper didn't know, but she wasn't about to start questioning her now.

Alex looked at her mom, her forehead knitting together. There was no food in the fridge; there rarely was. The cupboards hadn't been filled since they moved in - and even then they were only filled with mice and shredded paper. "I don't think so," she said slowly. "We have to pick up some more supplies for our project. I'll pick up dinner on the way back."

Diane smiled, more easily this time. Her pearly teeth showed. "Thank you. Oh, and Alex?"

Alex looked up, suppressing a sigh. She glanced at the window, watching the daylight fade and hoping to be finished before the stars appeared. "Yes, mom?"

"Be careful this time, hmm?" Diane said, her gaze falling to Piper. "We don't want any more explosions, do we? You and Sylvia always.."

Alex's hand froze above the baggie she was sealing shut. "That was different, mom," Alex said tersely, cutting her off. She didn't dare look at Piper and see what she was thinking, and scowled at her mother.

Nodding, Diane tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and grabbed the door handle. "If you're sure." When Alex nodded back at her, still frowning, she continued. "Have fun with your project, okay? Oh, and Piper, nice to meet you."

"Oh, we already met…" Piper trailed off as the door closed before she could continue. She looked at her feet for a moment, trying to process. Her nose wrinkled. "Does she really think we're doing a science project?" she whispered, deliberately ignoring the other comment her mother had made.

Alex shrugged, but she knew the answer. "I don't know, maybe," she lied. She chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment, turning things over in her mind before letting out a sigh. "Anyway. Let's just finish these orders," Alex said, reaching out for her list. She scanned it quickly. "Three lots of the Oxy," Alex told Piper, whose hand hovered over everything but what she'd asked for.

"The pink ones," Alex reminded her, reaching out for them herself. Piper reached out at the same time, and their fingers brushed.

It was cliche, but Alex swore she felt electricity when their hands were suspended in their air and their eyes locked as Piper turned towards Alex. It seemed like an eternity as they stared at each other, green meeting blue in an understanding of sorts.

The blonde pulled away first. "Um, the pink ones, right," she said quickly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Alex nodded, and then pressed the little baggie into Piper's hand, her own fingers lingering a little longer than necessary. "You'll get there," Alex said. "Just takes practice."

Piper nodded, her eyes trained on Alex's black nails contrasting with her own hot pink manicure. "Yeah," Piper said, flicking her eyes up to meet Alex's again. "Practice makes perfect, right?"

Alex chuckled, trying not to look disappointed as she drew her hand away again. "Right." She let her hand fall to her lap and offered a small, shy smile. "Let's get the rest of these orders done."

Before either of them knew it, all of the orders had been placed in bags and had been marked off on Alex's list.

"So...that's it?" Piper asked, a yawn escaping. It was still early, but it had taken a lot of concentration to try and learn all the names for the drugs...or products, as Alex insisted they be called.

"That's it, for today at least," Alex said. "Apart from picking up some supplies, like I said."

"Like what?"

Alex smiled coyly. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"You want a ride?" Piper asked. It was half curiosity, half pity; she felt for Alex having to walk around in a neighborhood she wouldn't even like to drive through, and she desperately wanted in on the action. "It's getting dark."

"You get used to it."

"Is that a no?"

"No," Alex said. She stood, brushing off her jeans. She stuffed her hands into the pockets of them, and smiled bashfully. "I have to tell you something though."

Piper's stomach twisted, excited at the thought of being let in on trade secrets. "What?"

"I just need to go to the dollar store. I'm all out of plastic baggies."

Piper squinted out of the window. "I've never been here at night."

"You've been here?"

Piper rolled her eyes. "Of course I've been here. My nanny used to bring me and Cal here when we were little."

Alex nodded. "Of course she did."

"Is it safe here at night?"

"Probably not," Alex admitted. "But by the time I get here on the bus it's usually dark. And the worse thing that's happened is a tramp spitting at me."

Piper shuddered. "That's disgusting."

"I mean, yeah." Alex stepped out of the car. "You coming?" Alex wiggled her eyebrows, starting to walk towards the brightly lit, multicolored storefront. "Or you wanna stay in the car, hmm?"

Piper climbed out of the car, scampering after Alex. "Of course I'm coming."

"Hey look! A remote control car," Piper said, squatting to examine it. "Cal and Danny used to love these."

"They're cool," Alex agreed easily. "Not really practical for the business, though."

"Really?" Piper giggled. "You could put the packages in the car and deliver it to the door." She stood and ran her finger along the plastic shelf, seeing what else was there. "Oh, how cute! Look, Alex, isn't he sweet?"

Alex turned as Piper held up a small stuffed koala. The blonde made him dance, and though she feel exasperated, Alex couldn't help but snicker. "He's very sweet," Alex said. "But again, you know,"

"Not good for the business," Piper reminded herself. She ducked her head. "Right, boss!" Piper strolled along the aisle.

"You know what's even better than browsing?" Alex asked, turning back to see Piper yet again examining some junk she was never going to buy. This time, it was a pair of sunglasses. She slipped them over her eyes and turned.

"What?"

Alex rolled her eyes as she stared back at her, a pair of heart shaped glasses framing her face. SHe couldn't help herself from smiling; she looked cute, and younger than usual, as she messed around with the stock. She hated to ruin the moment, but she hated how scary it felt out there when it was really dark. "Getting home without being jumped because the store is closing and they turn their streetlights off."

"Ah." Piper nodded. "I imagine it is better than browsing."

Alex laughed. "Come on, I have the bags. Let's just check out and go."

"I'm getting the glasses."

"I thought it would have been the koala."

Piper grinned, throwing her head back in a laugh. "Him too," she said, pulling him out from her pocket. "I couldn't leave him behind. He was looking at me with koala eyes."

"Not puppy dog eyes?"

"Koalas always look like they're judging you. So he's looking at me with koala eyes. And so are you."

Alex shook her head, trying to hide her smile. "Just throw him on the conveyer belt.." she murmured.

Piper's car pulled up outside Alex's house, and Piper cut the engine. She looked at Alex.

"This is me, then," Alex said quietly. She looked out of the car window at the soft light coming from her house. It always looked inviting to her, when yellow light shone from the windows of a house. But she knew what was on the inside, and it negated that feeling instantly. Especially since tonight had been so...so nice.

With a sigh, Alex smiled sadly at Piper. "I'll see you tomorrow." She wrapped her fingers around the door handle and pulled it down.

"Do you want to kiss?"

Alex whipped round. Her heart thudded underneath her checked shirt and she hoped it wasn't obvious under the thin camisole. "What?"

"Do you think I'm a priss?" Piper repeated. She frowned at the stricken expression on Alex's face and touched her leg. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Alex said, trying not to look down at her hand. "And no…" she paused, scratching the back of her neck with shaking hands. "I don't think you're a priss, Piper. Far from it."

Piper smiled, though she wasn't sure she believed her. It was still nice to hear, even if it was a lie. "Thanks, Alex. And...I think you should have Bo."

Alex paused. "...Bo?"

"The koala," Piper persisted, pressing the small stuffed animal into Alex's hand. "He can be the business mascot. Every business needs one."

Alex smiled. Her business priorities were slightly askew, but the girl made her smile. "Bo the drug koala."

"Mhm," Piper laughed.

Alex's hand went to the door handle as she pushed the car door open and let the cold of the night flood into the warm bubble of protection the car had provided. Even with Bo curled around her fingers, it was hard not to let reality hit. Alex forced another smile, pushing the door shut and separating them both. "Goodnight, Piper."


	5. Chapter 5

"Christ," Alex muttered as she heard her phone pinging for the third time in ten minutes. She doesn't look at it. Over the past few weeks, she'd spent more and more time with Piper. And less time doing homework, which had piled up considerably. Not to mention the time spent with Nicky…

She loved her best friend, but she caused her grief like no other. Despite her own business, she hated Nicky's drug abuse. It made her feel like she was screaming into the void. As she looked back, it _had_ gotten worse in recent months. Since Lorna had been messing her around...but Alex had ignored it, hoping it was temporary. Now it was staring her in the face. In fact, it had slapped her in the face. Alex closed her eyes as she thought about it. She wanted to push it all right out of her head, but it played again and again...

" _Nicky?" Alex rapped on the door again. "Come on! I have snacks and booze, what's not to love?"_

 _When there was no answer at Nicky's front door, Alex hadn't been concerned. Nicky was notorious for ignoring everyone - if she was in the mood, she shut everyone out. But she never ignored Alex's thinly veiled attempts to make her feel better. She always, eventually, came to the door. Alex had been there for ten minutes now, pleading at the door - Nicky's record was four and a half._

" _Nicky?" Alex said again, less confidently. She took a step back, biting her lip. In a last ditch attempt, she tried the handle. Her eyebrows shot up when the door creaked open. She didn't even have to step into the room to see what was wrong, it greeted her instantly at her feet. "Nicky, oh my god!"_

It wasn't that she even really cared about her grades - strangely enough, good grades weren't really a consideration in her line of work - but if she wanted the sperm donor who called himself her dad to keep paying her fees, she had to keep her grades up.

When it started to ring, Alex grabbed it and without looking at the caller ID, pressed it to her ear. "I'm all out for this week," she said, without giving the person on the other end a chance to even say hello. "Texting me incessantly won't help, I can't pull LSD out of my ass."

There was a hesitation but after a beat, a small voice piped up. "Uh, Alex?"

Alex's cheeks glowed beetroot, and she slapped a hand to her forehead. "...Piper?"

"I can call back another time if you're busy," the blonde said, twirling the phone wire between her fingers. The pink wire of her bedroom extension matched her nails. "Though I wouldn't say three messages is _incessant…"_

Alex suppressed a groan. "Maybe incessant was the wrong word choice."

Piper giggled. "Well, would it kill you to pick up the phone?"

Alex raised an eyebrow. Going to live with her father - a real threat if she didn't toe the line - would make her feel like dying, but she wasn't going into that now. "You know customers...stoners, they don't like to give up without a fight."

"I don't either."

"I have homework," Alex said reluctantly after a moment of silence. "You know what Healy's like. He can be a real hard ass."

"Really?" Piper let a little laugh out. "Huh, he always lets me off when I forget my homework."

"I wonder why." Alex smirked, rolling her green eyes. She doubted Piper ever ' _forgot'_ about homework, rather than simply ignoring its existence. "Some of us don't have that luxury. I'll catch up with you later, Piper."

"Wait!"

Alex held back a sigh. "Yes?"

"I'm bored," the blonde complained. Alex could almost hear the pout in her voice, yet the smile that plastered her own face was strangely stubborn. She _hated_ whining, but she found herself unable to put the phone down. "Come hang out with me."

"I'm _busy,"_ Alex said. "Not all of us can afford to flunk every class, you know."

"Listen, I'll take care of your homework."

" _You'll_ do my homework?" Not even Alex could hold back a laugh. "You don't even do your own!"

Piper laughed too, an easy chuckle that surprised Alex. Despite reassuring her of the opposite a few weeks ago, it was hard _not_ to think Piper was a priss who would take offence at the smallest of things.

"Of course I'm not doing your homework," she said. "There's this girl...she's a real math genius. She'll do it."

Alex crossed her arms, clamping her phone between her shoulder and ear. Suspicion crept into her voice as she asked, "Why would she do it?"

"Mm," Piper said, picking lint from her skirt. "She's a little short of cash right now."

Alex sighed. "Aren't we all?"

"Nope," the blonde said, popping the P. "I just got my allowance."

Alex rolled her eyes. "I thought you were grounded. _And_ that your credit cards had been cancelled."

"Well, they are," Piper said. "But Daddy always relents in the end."

"Of course he does," she said under her breath. "Listen, I'm not pimping out some girl to do my homework. It's wrong, Piper." The brunette murmured as she worked out an equation, jotting her workings out down on the notepad.

"And selling drugs isn't?"

"It's not the same," Alex insisted. To her, selling drugs to rich kids was always going to happen. If she didn't profit off of it, someone else would. And someone else might lace it with who-knows-what. Alex was always fair on price, and she always sold what she advertised. "What's her name? Do I know her?" There was an edge of worry to her voice. She was unconcerned about what other people thought of her - or so she said - but anxiety still crept into her tone at the thought of people knowing anything about her.

"Taystee, and no. She doesn't mind," Piper insisted. "Plus, you know, what if she has to resort to _other things_ if we don't pay her for homework?"

 _Taystee?_ Alex thought, raising an eyebrow. Even so, she shook her head good-humoredly. "That's a stretch." But she put down her pen, a smile playing on her lips.

Piper must have heard it in her words, because she seized her opportunity. "So you'll meet me?"

"Fine," Alex relented, throwing her textbooks on her bed. "Where?"

"Storky's."

"..."

"The booth closest to the counter, okay?" Piper continued.

"You're serious?"

"I'm always serious!" The peals of laughter that followed were contagious.

"I'm not gonna turn up to Storky's to the cast of Punk'd, right?"

Piper rolled her eyes this time. "Just meet me there."

Alex shoved her phone into the pocket of her knock-off Levi's, threw on a jacket to combat the cold now that the mild days had given way to frost, and headed out the door. Snowflakes were fluttering down, much like on that awful day a few weeks ago.

 _Alex ran out into the street. Her heart thudded underneath her sweatshirt, sweat beading on her forehead. It was freezing out, but she batted at her face wildly to cool it off. "Help!"_

 _The ice on the sidewalk gave no traction, and she slid right over. Her knees were bleeding, but if she noticed, she didn't show it. "Can somebody help? My friend is in trouble!"_

 _No-one stopped. No-one even looked in her direction. Was she invisible? She thought. With trembling hands, Alex punched in 911. Reeling off Nicky's address, she continued breathlessly, "I think my friend's taken something...she's collapsed on the floor, I can't wake her up."_

 _Listening to the operator, Alex ran back inside. Crouching down next to Nicky, she sobbed over her. "Come on, Nichols...I can't do this without you. We're a team, right?" She sniffed, wiping her nose on the back of her hand._

 _Nicky didn't stir, and her breathing, if she_ was _breathing, was faint._

" _I'm getting you help, Nicky," Alex said, her hair falling in Nicky's face. "Just hang on a little longer, okay?"_

Alex ignored the snowflakes raining down on her. It only served as a reminder. At least this time, though, the ground wasn't covered in a sheet of black ice. She rubbed her hands together as she walked to the bus stop.

On the bus, she looked out of the window. She didn't like public transport; people were generally assholes, and since she'd... _blossomed_ when she was eleven, she was accustomed to comments being thrown in her direction. But today was different. Today she was going to be seeing Piper. And despite everything else, she couldn't stop the smile on her face.

* * *

Pushing the door to Storky's open, Alex looked up as the little bell jangled above her. It was the type of place her mom would have taken her as a treat when she was little - though that happened so little, she could have counted it on one hand.

Piper, true to her word, sat at the booth closest to the counter. Her face beamed a smile and she beckoned Alex over. Alex laughed softly at her goofy expression, and smiled back - until her eyes flitted to a familiar face a little behind the blonde.

Alex's pace quickened and her smile faded into a glare by the time she reached the booth. She threw her backpack down onto the bench, her eyes dark.

"Wait here," Alex said, her attention entirely captured by a scene behind the counter of Storky's. She locked eyes with Piper, whose brow knitted in confusion. Through gritted teeth, she hissed, "I have something to take care of."

Piper's gaze followed Alex as she stormed up to the counter, as she slammed her hand down on the table. It throbbed, but she had other things on her mind. "What the fuck, Nicky?"

Nicky jumped, slipping a small baggie into her pocket. "Relax, Al," the blonde said with an easy smile. "Me and Taystee are just having a conversation." Her voice lost its friendly tone and gained an edge."I am allowed to have friends other than you, aren't I?"

Alex ignored her. " _You're_ Taystee?"

"And you are?" Taystee raised her eyebrows.

"None of your business."

Alex grabbed Nicky's arm, twisted it and, ignoring Nicky's yelp of pain, dipped her hand into the copper-haired girl's pocket. "Is this what you call a conversation?" Alex glared as she held up a baggie of white powder. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Weed is one thing, Nicky, but you _promised."_

"I didn't promise shit!" Nicky retaliated. She snatched the baggie from Alex's fingers, turning to Taystee. "Tell Vee I'll pay her next time I see her," she muttered.

"I'll add it to your tab," Taystee said, raising her eyebrows at Alex. "You ordering, or what?"

"Thanks," Alex said sarcastically, her grip tightening around Nicky's arm. "But we're done here. Nice to know you're using your skills in math for the greater good."

Taystee shrugged. "Everybody's gotta eat."

 _Alex waited anxiously outside of Nicky's hospital room until Marka emerged. The older woman's eyes were red around the rims, but she looked far away. Alex hesitated for a moment before calling._

" _Mrs Nichols?"_

 _The blonde's head snapped up. Her eyes, so much like Nicky's, bored into Alex. "Yes?"_

 _Alex almost lost her nerve. "How...how is Nicky?"_

 _Marka tilted her head. "She's going to be fine, Alex."_

" _You remember me?"_

 _Marka had the good grace to look ashamed, and shook her head. "Nicky told me. You saved her life, you know." She took a deep breath. "The nurses, they said so."_

 _Alex was lost for words. She stumbled over the ones she had, umming and ahhing. "I just did what anyone would."_

 _Marka's voice was flat when she continued. "She's going to kill herself, you know."_

 _Alex said nothing. She wanted to disagree, to say that this would be the scare she needed to finally kick the habit...but she couldn't._

' _When I wanted to rebel as a teenager, I didn't eat. That's what we did, back in the 70s." For the first time, Marka's face crumpled. "I didn't even last a month. God, why this? Why her? Why_ me?"

 _Alex opened her mouth to continue, but no words seemed to fit. Before she found any, Marka was wiping her eyes. She patted at her cheeks with a handkerchief._

" _Visiting times are between two and four, dear. Come whenever you'd like."_

"You're going to kill yourself," Alex said, her voice rising hysterically. "And _then_ what am I supposed to do? I need you, Nicky! Why are you doing this to yourself?"

Nicky stood her ground, yanking her arm away. Bruises from cannulas still stood out on her pale skin. "What I do is none of your fucking business, Alex! Go be with your girlfriend."

"You know what?" Alex yelled, not caring that she was attracting the attention of half of the restaurant. She plucked the baggie back from Nicky. "I will. But you're still not killing yourself on my watch!"

Before she had a chance to respond, Alex stormed over to Piper. She grabbed her bag from the bench and jerked her head in the direction of the door. "We're going."

Piper scampered to her feet. Having witnessed the whole scene, she was more than willing to leave - but utterly confused, too. She struggled to keep up with Alex's pace as she charged out of the restaurant.

"Are you okay?" Piper squeaked, practically running behind Alex. "I'm sorry, I swear I didn't know that Taystee sold that shit.."

"It's fine," Alex said, quickening her pace even further. She marched to where Piper was parked and slid into her passenger side. Tears pooled in her eyes, but Piper pretended not to notice as she pawed at them.

"Where are we going?" Piper asked quietly, turning the key in the ignition.

"Anywhere but here."

* * *

Sitting on the floor of her bedroom, Piper looked at Alex with uncertainty. Then, after a moment, she scooted closer. Resting her head on Alex's neck, she bit her lip. "It'll be okay, you know."

Her free hand ruffled the plush cream carpet on her floor. As soon as they'd slammed Piper's door behind them, Piper ignoring the calling of her mother, Alex had fallen to a crumpled heap on the floor. Her face was hidden behind her hands, but Piper could still see teardrops rolling down her cheeks.

Alex shook her head, the tears now streaming freely down her face. "I'm so afraid that I'm gonna lose her," she admitted, her hair falling in her blood shot eyes. "And I can't do a _fucking thing_ about it. One day I'm gonna turn up, and she's gonna be lying there, a needle sticking out of her arm...I can't even think about it, yet I can't stop," she sobbed. "I found her, you know. Passed out on her fucking floor! Next time, what if I'm not there fast enough? What if she takes too much? I thought she was doing okay, I thought it was just a bad habit…"

"Oh, Al," Piper said softly. She gathered her hair behind her neck and stroked the soft skin on her jaw, not knowing what to say. "This is not your fault. And she's a fighter. She'll be okay." The words sounded hollow, even to her.

"I need to shut my brain off," Alex cried. She thought about having to go home, about having to face Diane and the mess she'd probably have made at home, face the consequences of not telling her where she'd gone...it made her want to run away for good.

Piper chewed on her thumbnail. As if reading her thoughts, she said, "You can stay here as long as you need to. There's no rush," she murmured. Alex could feel her hot breath on her neck, and she shivered. "I'm always here if you need me."

Alex turned around. Watery eyes and blotchy red cheeks aside, she still looked beautiful. Piper's eyes drifted to her lips. Her own lips pressed together.

"I do need you," Alex murmured. "Now. I need you _now."_

Unable to stop herself, Alex leaned forward and connected their lips. Piper couldn't help herself, either. The hand that had been gently stroking Alex's neck was now tangled in her hair, pulling the brunette closer and closer. Their chests were touching, and Alex wondered if Piper could feel her heart thumping.

Alex's hand snaked down to the small of Piper's back, caressing the soft skin there. Piper was first to break the kiss, panting and lipgloss smeared everywhere.

Alex looked at Piper, breathless. Lipstick smudges marked her cheeks, mascara streaked right down to her jawline. She tugged at Piper's skirt, and then locked eyes with her. "Are you sure?"

Piper looked down at her skirt, at Alex's hand, so close to her...the brunette's cold fingers brushed against her midriff.

"I…"

* * *

 ** _A/N:_**

 ** _Heya lovelies! I hope you liked this chapter.  
Please let me know what you thought.  
Hope you're all good. _**

**_\- Star xo_**


	6. Chapter 6

Piper pressed her forehead against Alex's. "I can't do this," she breathed, closing her eyes. Alex tried to pull away but Piper held her close, their hearts beating in time with each other's. The blonde ignored Alex's tears splashing onto her own cheeks. She was surprisingly strong as she clutched her tightly.

"Why not?" Alex whispered. She _hated_ how pathetic her voice sounded, how it wisped into the air so weakly. She hesitated. "Do you...not want me?"

Piper tucked a strand of Alex's hair behind her ear, a soft laugh escaping. "Of course I do," she said, her hand caressing Alex's neck. Her voice caught in her throat. "More than anything."

It was the truth, so why did she find it so hard to say? The words seemed to stick in her throat.

"Then why _not?"_

Piper sucked in a breath. "Do you want it to be now? The first time? When your face is blotchy and red and you can't breathe through tears?" She released her grip on Alex, her fingers leaving red marks on the white skin of Alex's arm. She chewed on her bottom lip. "Sweetie, I don't want you to wake up in the morning…" she paused, looking to the floor. "And see me as another mistake you made."

Alex cringed at the words. She turned away, pushing her glasses up on her head and rubbing her eyes. "I would never think that, Piper," she whispered.

Piper nodded swiftly, turning away. She wiped at her own eyes, taking a breather. "Maybe not," she said, her voice monotone now, all traces of weakness gone as she dabbed at her face with her sleeve. "But let's not take that chance, hm?"

The moment had passed. It was like Piper's walls were up again, and the words _simply business_ ran through Alex's head like a rabid dog.

Alex covered her eyes with the palm of her hand, pushing down hard until she saw multicolored spots under her eyelids. A hiccup escaped from her lips as she tried to force the hyperventilating to end. Strangled breathing rasped through the room.

It was as if the dam inside her had burst. No-one could stop the floodwaters now, and keeping it inside for weeks had been one of the hardest things she'd ever done. Seeing Nicky on that floor replayed in her mind every night before she went to sleep.

"It's all I see," Alex murmured through her hands. "Every time I close my eyes, every single _time."_

Piper watched, her eyes softening. "It won't be forever," she said, her forehead creasing. "I promise you, it won't be forever."

Alex drew her knees up to her chest. She looked like Bambi - all legs and sad eyes. Piper watched her as she rested her chin on her legs.

"Do you ever wonder why people are the way they are?"

Piper nibbled on her nail, ripping away a hangnail. _All the time,_ she thought. The thought had first crossed her mind when she was small, small enough that the memory was hazy at the edges.

Her mom had watched her ballet recital, sat amongst the gaggle of other proud mothers. Piper had bounded over to her, a grin plastered over her tiny features. It had been a perfect day, until her mother opened her mouth.

She smoothed down Piper's hair, tucking a strand that had come loose of her chignon behind her ear and taking her hand in her own. "Your pirouettes were wobbly. But lovely performance, darling…"

She hadn't heard the end of her mom's sentence. The ringing in her ears had covered it. Every part of her felt wobbly after that, including her chin. Yet her mom never understood the tears that splashed down her cheeks.

She'd wondered it when she saw Polly hanging off Larry's arm a few weeks ago, throwing her head back laughing. It had hurt, but not as much as it once would have; she pretended not to know why.

And now. Now she was left wondering why _she_ was like this, as she shook her head. Why Alex was opening up to her, and she was putting her shutters up. But her head kept on shaking and she looked to the brunette crying on her bedroom floor.

"I do," Alex said, rubbing the knuckle of her pointer finger on her chin in thought. Her hand dipped into her pocket and she felt the plastic of the little heroin baggie. She nodded, "I wonder."

Piper raised her eyebrows, waiting for her to continue, but she didn't. Instead, Alex flew to her feet.

"I have to go," Alex said. Her hand still in her pocket, she clutched the bag in her fist. "I have something I have to do."

Piper looked at her, then stood up too. Her brow furrowed at the sudden change of plan. "Like what?"

Alex ducked her head. "Business."

Piper's eyebrows shot up. "Business? I thought your business was taking a backseat to studying."

"And you thought Taystee was a sweet girl making cash by doing homework." Alex stared at a mark on the wall before looking Piper in the eye. Her green eyes were dark as she turned. "I guess we were both wrong."

* * *

Alex fled up to her bedroom as she arrived home, ignoring her mom's calls. Alex was Diane's world, but there were times that Alex just couldn't deal with her. The door almost came off of its hinges behind her, echoing through the empty hallway. Alex slid down the wall in her bedroom, small flakes of paint chipping off as she did so.

"Honey, you okay?" Diane called, chunky knit cardigan draped around her skinny shoulders. Alex sniffed and wiped the tears away.

"I'm fine, mom," she called back. She hoped her mom couldn't guess from the stuffy voice that she'd been crying. "I'll come down and make dinner soon, okay?"

Diane hesitated, but nodded to herself. "Okay, honey. I'll be waiting for you. Don't stay up there too long, will you?" There was an anxious edge to her voice. Alex covered her eyes and pretended that she hadn't heard it.

From her pocket she pulled the little baggie of white powder. Who would have thought such a little thing could cause so much trouble?

Tipping it out onto the back of her hand, Alex sniffed the powder in one fell swoop. It wasn't as good as injecting it, she'd heard, but it didn't leave the track marks and she didn't need the questioning.

Alex stared at the baggie on the floor, empty now. It looked so innocent. Resting her head back on the wall, Alex closed her eyes. She ignored the beeping from her phone, and tried to block out the rest of the world.

* * *

Meanwhile, Piper held her own phone to her ear. "Please pick up, Alex," Piper said in yet another message. "I'm worried about you."

The blonde set her phone down and drummed her fingers, wishing she'd held Alex close and not let her leave. Wishing she'd chased after her. Wishing that she'd done _anything_ to help. She came to a stand, unable to take it anymore. Throwing on a hoodie and for once not caring about the state of her hair, Piper grabbed her keys.

If Alex wouldn't come to her, then she would find Alex.

"Sweetie?" Piper said, sticking her head around Alex's door. Alex's mom had let her in with a worried smile, stating that she wasn't sure Alex would be up for visitors, but that she was more than welcome to try.

Alex didn't say anything and Piper saw a mess of brunette hair fanned out on the floor. She eased the door open and fell to the floor as she saw Alex. She didn't stir as Piper squeezed her arm. Piper's heart thudded wildly in her chest.

Shaking her, Piper brushed dark strands of hair out of her eyes. "Alex?" Piper held her lolling head straight. "What have you done? _Alex?"_

It was then that she noticed the little empty baggie on the floor.

"Oh, Alex…" Piper said. "Why this? Why _now?"_

Alex giggled softly, her eyes rolling back in her head. "You sound like my mom."

"That's because I'm worried," Piper said, frowning. She stroked Alex's forehead as the brunette nuzzled into her. "Do you feel okay?" Piper asked. "Do I need to call someone?"

"No!" Alex said, seemingly sobering up at least a little. She shook her head. "I'll be okay," she slurred.

Piper bit her lip, still not convinced.

"I just need to sleep it off. Will you sleep it off with me, Piper?"

Piper smiled faintly. She was holding back tears, yet she nodded her head. "I have to do something first, okay? But I'll be back."

"Don't go," Alex said.

Piper pulled her to her feet, slipping an arm around her waist. "Come on," Piper said, her breath tickling Alex's neck. "Let's get you to bed."

"I don't wanna go to bed."

"I'll come back and join you soon, okay?" Anger was building beneath her surface, but she kept a lid on it for Alex.

"Mhm."

Piper helped Alex lie down. She wasn't sure what to do for the best, and as the brunette's breathing evened out, Piper pressed her lips together. She pulled her shoes off, leaving them by the side of her bed. She looked comfortable, at the very least.

Then she eased her into the recovery position and pulled a blanket over her sleeping form, tucking her in. She hesitated. Stooping down, she planted a quick kiss on Alex's forehead. "I'll be back soon," she whispered. "I promise I'll be back soon."

Piper looked down worriedly. But without getting Alex into trouble, there was little more she could do. With mixed feelings, she quietly came out of the room and poked her head into the living room. Alex's mom sat on the couch, staring into nothingness. Her eyes were glassy. Piper hesitated for a moment, not knowing what to call her. "Um, miss…"

Diane's head whipped round. "You can call me Diane."

"Okay," Piper said, too tired to be charming. "Diane, Alex isn't feeling too well. Will you keep an eye on her?"

Diane looked at her worriedly. "What's the matter? She said she was doing homework."

"She's just feeling...under the weather. Do you mind if I come back later?"

Diane raised her eyebrows, a trembling fist by her side. "If Alex doesn't mind, then I don't."

* * *

The door of Storky's opened with the ringing of a bell and the slamming of the same door behind Piper. Pushing to the front of the queue and ignoring the glares of other customers milling around her, she slapped her hand down on the counter.

"Taystee, we need to talk."

Taystee raised her eyebrows at Piper, glancing to the customers waiting behind her. She shrugged, gesturing around her. "I'm working."

"I know," Piper said, mouth set in a hard line. "Maybe I should let a couple more people know about your little sideline."

The hand that was filling a cup with soda clenched slightly, and Piper's eyebrow quirked. Taystee slammed the drink down on the counter, shoving it towards the customer. Her eyes narrowed at Piper, but she threw her hat down onto a chair.

She yelled over her shoulder. "I'm taking my break!"

Taystee lifted the counter up, pushing past the sea of customers and the dinner rush and opening the door to the parking lot. Piper trotted after her, satisfied. The hit of fresh air after being in the stuffy restaurant was instant relief.

"What do you want, Piper?" Taystee asked, her tone resigned. "I need the money, okay? Not all of us can dry our fucking tears with hundred dollar bills."

"But it's okay to spend a hundred and shoot it up?" Piper shook her head. "That's the least of my worries. Stop selling to Nichols, okay?"

"What the fuck?" Taystee ran a hand through her hair, smoothing out what the hat had messed up. She pursed her lips, making a small _tsk_ noise. "No way. She's one of my best customers."

"Do I look like I fucking care?!" Piper hissed. "She's gonna kill herself!"

Taystee had the good graces to look upset by the comment, grinding the toe of her shoe into the dirt. "It's that bad?"

Piper frowned. "You know it is."

She didn't particularly like the girl; in fact, it wasn't a stretch to say that the copper haired junkie was the bane of her existence. But for some reason, Alex loved her. And for the first time in her life, Piper could see further than herself. It felt like someone was reaching into her chest and squeezing her heart with an icy fist every time she had to sit there and watch Alex cry.

Seeing her strung out on heroin made her feel sick. As long as Nicky was using, she'd still feel the same.

Taystee said nothing, so Piper filled the silence.

"If you sell to her again, I'll tell my dad. He has friends in law enforcement. I'm not playing around here, okay?"

"What am I supposed to tell her? What am I supposed to tell _Vee?"_ Taystee asked, the terror plain on her face as her lips curled into a grimace.

"Leave that to me," Piper said. "You know where she lives?"

Taystee jutted her chin out, considering.

"You wanna explain to her that she's done whilst she's coming down from God knows what? Be my guest…" Piper turned on her heel, shrugging.

Taystee broke first, exhaling forcefully. "Wait."

Piper smirked, but wiped it from her face as she turned round. "Can you write it down for me?"

* * *

Piper squinted at the piece of paper in her hand. The ink had smudged after being crumpled in her sweaty palm, but it was still legible - just. Sighing and feeling more exhausted than she had in her whole life - even after that half marathon Polly had signed her up for - Piper rapped on the clean white front door.

A woman dressed in white opened the door. "Hello," she said, a little surprised. She'd instantly clocked Piper's _Kate Spade_ handbag and silver watch. "Are you fundraising?"

"No," Piper said, a little self conscious. "I'm here to see Nicky."

"Oh," she said, a tinkly laugh escaping. "I wasn't expecting that." She sounded impressed. "Come on in, dear. I'm Marka, Nicky's mother."

Piper forced a smile. "I'm Piper."

"Come on in, Piper."

Piper stepped inside. She wasn't surprised to see a home not unlike her own. Everything had a place, and everything was in its place...except Nicky, it seemed. She was lounging on the couch, making the place look messy.

Marka threw a glance over her shoulder at her only daughter, suppressing a sigh. She raised her voice to be heard over Nicky's earphones. She hadn't even looked up from her phone in the time it had taken to open the door. "I'm going out, Nicky. Take care of our guest, won't you?"

Nicky's head finally snapped up and she ripped out her earphones. "What?"

Before Nicky got the chance to argue her point, the door had been slammed. She huffed in annoyance and her anger turned to Piper. "What the fuck do you want?"

"For you to care!" Piper snapped. Her patience had been worn thinner than ever. "Alex is high right now, you know that?"

Nicky glared. "You've gotta be kidding me." Scraping back her hair, she shook her head and exhaled through her nose. "She stole my heroin?"

"That's all you care about?" Piper kicked the coffee table in front of her and immediately regretted it as her toes throbbed and Nicky snickered. She looked totally blasé. "Alex has been crying since she left! You are breaking her heart," she continued, her voice cracking.

Nicky dug her fingernails into the palm of her hand. For the briefest moment, her eyes closed. Then they flashed open again, and she looked colder than ice. She pinched the bridge of her nose.

Nicky flipped open a packet of cigarettes, lighting one up. Before responding, she took a drag.

"Are you finished?" Nicky asked boredly, raising her eyebrows. She flicked ash onto the pristine wooden floor. "Because you're starting to sound like you're finished."

"Why don't you _care?"_ Piper yelled. "You're going to kill yourself!"

"Do you think I fucking care what _you_ think?" Nicky shot back, nostrils flaring. "I didn't care when Marka told me, I didn't care when Red told me," Nicky said, though her own voice broke on the name, "And I certainly don't care that _you've_ told me." In her hoodie pocket, her hands trembled. She _needed_ her next fix.

Piper frowned, wondering who the hell Red was. But her anger overrode her curiosity. "You know what? You might not care if you kill yourself, but _Alex_ does."

Nicky rubbed the blotchy skin on her neck. Her energy was drained and she couldn't be bothered to argue. "Well tell Alex I'm very sorry if I kick the bucket before my time."

Piper looked down at Nicky. _This is hopeless,_ she thought. Turning on her heel, she left. She had more important things to deal with - _Alex._

* * *

With a heavy heart and exhausted body, Piper sat in her car outside of Alex's house. She rested her head against the steering wheel. She had never had a longer day, nor a more emotionally taxing one. With a sigh, Piper heaved herself out of the seat. She locked it and shoved the keys into her pocket, walking the small and dimly lit path up to Alex's home.

The porch light was flickering, illuminating the cobwebs in the windows. The curtain twitched ominously. It looked depressing, but something precious was inside. Piper pushed aside any misgivings and knocked on the door. Diane answered almost immediately, and Piper wondered if she'd been watching her at the window. Probably.

"Hello," Diane said. "Alex is still asleep," she said, a worried line forming on her forehead. "But you can come inside if you want."

Piper hesitated. "I do," she said finally. Flashing a quick smile to Diane, Piper jogged to Alex's room. She felt like every second would matter. Every second she was away from her felt like a second too many, and it was the strangest feeling.

She opened the door to Alex's room. The worn out carpet made a _swooshing_ sound as she opened it, and she tiptoed into the room. Alex was asleep under the covers. Piper stayed at the edge of the room for a moment, drinking in the serenity. After a moment, she kicked off her own shoes and threw her jacket on the chair. She carefully peeled back the duvet from Alex and climbed in beside her, squashed up on her tiny twin bed.

Heat radiated off of her. Piper could feel sweat beading on Alex's neck and brushed her hair from the clammy skin it stuck to. "See?" she said, wrapping an arm around Alex's waist and entwining their fingers together. "I came back," she whispered into the darkness. "I'll always come back."

* * *

 **A/N:**

 _ **I know it's been forever since I updated. I've been working on this since February.  
**_ _ **And I know the last chapter ended with a tease.  
But hey, here it is! It's not been the easiest week but at least the chapter got written.  
Please tell me what you thought in a review.**_

 _ **Hope you're all good.**_

 _ **\- Star xo**_


	7. Chapter 7

Piper's eyes slowly fluttered open to the sight of Diane looming over her. The blonde sprang to her feet, heart thudding wildly. She held the blanket around her under her armpits, feeling bizarrely vulnerable. Sometime during the night she'd tugged off her jeans and kicked them into a crumpled heap on the floor, but then she hadn't expected to be interrogated come the morning.

"Oh, thank God," Diane said, her hand clasped over her chest. "For a moment there it didn't look like you were breathing."

Piper stared at her. A look of bewilderment crossed her features as she blinked, still half asleep, in the blinding light that was streaming in through the windows. Even as she processed what she was saying, it didn't seem to make sense. She rubbed her eyes and looked down at Alex, who stirred but didn't wake completely.

"Why wouldn't I be breathing?" Piper demanded. She squeezed her eyes shut, letting herself wake up a little more before continuing in a softer voice, "I'm fine, Miss Vause, sorry. You scared me a little."

"You scared me too," was her indignant response.

Piper tried to disguise the confusion on her face with a weak smile. She was relieved when her phone rang, filling the silence so that she didn't have to. Her relief turned to anxiety as she fished it out of the pocket of her jeans and saw that it was her mom - along with the thirteen other missed calls. Piper bit her lip.

"Can I just.." Piper gestured to her ringing phone, flashing an apologetic smile to Diane.

"Oh, of course," Diane said, suddenly flustered. She tripped over Piper's discarded jeans on the way out as Piper winced watching her.

As soon as the door slammed behind her, stirring Alex awake, Piper cut the call. She threw herself down on the bed, holding her head in her hands. She'd tossed and turned all night, eyes burning in the darkness as she tried to watch the steady rise and fall of Alex's chest in sleep.

Every time she'd finally fallen asleep, her body giving into the sheer exhaustion, she'd be jolted awake only a few moments after. It was always something and nothing that woke her; a small hitch in Alex's breathing, the wind making the rickety guttering judder against the side of the house, even Diane shuffling in her slippers. And so the cycle would restart. Piper squinting in the darkness, her heart thudding wildly under her shirt.

Even when she _did_ manage to fall asleep for some reasonable length of time, her dreams were plagued with images of Alex choking on her own vomit, having some kind of reaction to whatever they cut the heroin with...it sent shivers down her spine.

"Piper?" Alex murmured, one eye half open and the other stuck together with sleep. "What are you doing here?"

Piper glanced down at Alex as she began to wake up a little more. The blonde watched as realization dawned on her. "You remember now?" she asked, unimpressed. She hid the fact that relief was flooding through her veins.

Alex winced as she sat up. "Piper…"

"You scared the hell out of me!" Piper said, stopping her before the excuses came pouring out. "Do you have any idea…" Piper stopped. "Well, yeah. You do, actually. You _know_ how fucking scary it is. And you did it anyway."

Alex saw her point. Maybe if she'd thought it through, she wouldn't have done it. But it was too late for _maybes_ or _what ifs_ and Alex reached for Piper's hand. "I'm sorry, Piper," she said, flinching when Piper pulled her hand away. "I…"

"You?" Piper prompted, her anger melting to concern as Alex held her stomach. "Alex?"

Before Piper could say any more, Alex grabbed for the trashcan down by her bed. She fell to her knees on the floor, head in the can, throwing up whatever she'd eaten in the last twelve hours. Piper winced as she retched. Piper dropped to the floor next to her, gathering her hair up behind her.

"Get it all out," Piper said softly, her hand rubbing circles in the small of Alex's back. She breathed a sigh. "We'll get through this, together."

Alex wiped her mouth, looking up at Piper. Her skin was blotchy and red but Piper smiled anyway. "We will?"

Piper nodded, trailing her fingers softly over Alex's neck. She stared at the empty wall over Alex's head, her heart feeling heavy. "Of course we will."

Alex leaned her head on Piper's leg. The sudden ringing of her phone made her jump, and Piper flashed her a sheepish smile.

"Shit, sorry…" The blonde once again grabbed her phone and looked at the caller ID. It was her mom, and she grimaced. "Al, I have to go."

Alex looked up, her head hung miserably. "Will you come back?"

"I don't know," Piper admitted. "But not because of you," she quickly added. "Because I'm probably gonna be grounded till I'm 25."

* * *

Piper hadn't even turned her key in the door when it was pulled open from the inside. Cal stared down at her, his face blank until a wide grin stretched over his features.

"Ooh. You're in so much trouble, Pipes."

Piper rolled her eyes. "Who's more mad, mom or dad?"

His eyes shone with excitement. It wasn't often that _he_ was the good kid, watching the punishment from the outside. "Mom."

Piper groaned. "Shoot."

Slipping her shoes off, she dawdled to the living room. Facing her parents wasn't something she wanted to rush. She even eyed the front door once more before pushing the living room door open, but decided against it.

Her parents were perched on the cream loveseat. Her mother's arms were folded, her father looked like he hadn't slept. A pang of guilt shot through her.

Carol immediately sprang up. Piper said nothing as she dived into her lecture, only occasionally looking up. She waited until her mother was finished ranting and had demanded, "well, what do you have to say for yourself?" to reply, putting on her best remorseful expression.

"I'm sorry, mom...I thought I'd told you."

"Where _were_ you?" Her father demanded.

"At Polly's," Piper said.

"The truth," her mom cautioned. "You don't think Polly's mother is the first person I'd call when you _stay out all night?_ So embarrassing, too. Imagine not knowing where your teenage daughter is!"

"Fine," Piper said, grinding her teeth. "I was at Alex's house. She's my new...friend." The word didn't seem right, but she wasn't about to go into the complexities of their relationship with her parents. She didn't even know what they were.

"And you couldn't call?"

 _No, I was busy putting her in the recovery position._ "My phone died," she trotted out. As if on cue, her phone told her of a notification.

"Did it now?"

"Maybe not," Piper said. She looked to her dad. "You'd like Alex. She has her own business! I met her at school."

Her father raised his eyebrows as her mother looked at him, expecting him to give her another lecture. Truthfully, Mr Chapman couldn't stand Piper's current best friend, Polly. Her voice was shrill, her parents too liberal, and the smell of soap forever wafting through his home gave him a migraine. The chance to replace her was too tempting.

"She does?" he asked, nodding. "Well, Carol, she doesn't sound so bad."

Carol glared at her husband, rolling her eyes. "She's a bad influence! Piper's never been out all night. And her grades are slipping, you know that."

"I know, honey," he said in soothing tones, attempting to placate her. "Maybe we ought to meet her to decide for ourselves. Piper, invite her over for dinner. How about that, Carol?"

Carol pressed her lips together. Her husband knew she enjoyed entertaining, even if it was only for her children's friends. She hesitated for a moment, and then nodded. "Fine. But one more strike and she's out. Agreed? _And_ no parties for a week. No parties and no soap making. You need to be studying."

"Whatever you say, darling."

Carol brightened. "Piper, why don't you go and get some of those Russian bakery treats you and your brothers liked so much? Get your father and grandmother something too...I shouldn't, I'm on Atkins."

"Oh, go on darling. You look fantastic already."

Piper rolled her eyes at her parents, but smiled nonetheless. "Are you sure, mom? They're the best. And daddy's right," she added, looking for a chance to compliment her mother and get back into her good books. "You're thinner than Polly's mom now."

Her mom smiled back, swatting at Piper. "Flattery will get you everywhere," she laughed. "Go on then. Hurry back, though. You know what Cal is like when he's hungry."

* * *

Nicky braced herself to open the door to the Russian market. Two or three customers beat her to it whilst she lingered at the door. The morning rush was afoot.

Inside the market, the redheaded owner's brow furrowed. Between each order, she glanced outside the door. After serving the last customer in the line, she wiped her hands on her apron and stepped outside.

The only thing visible of the girl was the mane of hair blustering in the wind as she mumbled to herself, eyes glued to the floor. She didn't seem to notice Red's presence, even when the bell rang as the door swung shut.

"Nicky?" she asked after a moment, reaching a hand out to rest on her shoulder. Her concern was mounting. She squinted at her in the sunrise.

When she finally looked up, Red's heart skipped a beat. Her usually beautiful brown eyes had been replaced with puffy bloodshot pools of tears. For a moment, she was speechless. There were no words when your child came to you, utterly devastated.

Nicky spoke instead, her voice thick with emotion. "I know I said I didn't," Nicky said, tears spilling down her cheeks. Her voice was rising, nearing hysterical. "But I _do_ care! I care, Red. I care!"

The older woman pulled Nicky in, encircling her in her arms. She rested her chin on Nicky's head. Red was used to seeing Nicky in fits and flashes - but she was usually angry, or high, or mouthing off with that infuriating smirk of hers. This was different, but, she resolved to herself, nothing she couldn't handle.

Red's chest heaved. "I know you do, honey," she murmured, steering her toward to the door. "Come in. Let me sort everything out."

Nicky let Red guide her to her little office in the back room. Sitting Nicky down on the office chair she never let her share, Red untied her apron. "Now what's up, hm?"

Nicky chewed on her nails. Her eyes flashed with worry and _that_ was the thing making Red's heart thud under her jumper. Nicky was always so self-assured, bordering on cocky. To see her like this made the older woman wonder what on earth she had done.

"Alex stole my heroin," Nicky sobbed quietly, burying her nose into Red's chest as she pulled her close.

Red cleared her throat, digesting the information. It felt like a kick to the stomach, but she held herself together as her girl cried against her. Closing her eyes, Red let out a sigh.

"I was so angry, Red," Nicky mumbled. "I just...I _need_ it, you know? And she knew that, and she still took it from me…" Nicky trailed off, her eyes flashing up to meet Red's. She bit her lip, anxiety written all over her face. "And...and I don't know what they cut it with," she admitted, rubbing at the back of her neck. "When Piper came over and told me that she'd took it...I didn't know what to do or say."

Red rubbed small circles in Nicky's back. _For a smart girl,_ Red thought, minutely shaking her head, _this one can be pretty fucking stupid._

"You're worried about her?" Red asked. "Worried that she's killing herself?"

Nicky nodded.

Red cupped her chin. "Then why aren't you worried about yourself?" The older woman sighed. "You're staying with me today. You can help out with the market." _I can keep an eye on you,_ she added silently.

She couldn't imagine how Nicky could put that shit into her body and not care whatsoever, but feel terrified at the prospect of her friend doing the same.

"It's gonna kill me," Nicky said quietly.

"The drugs?" Red asked, relieved that it was finally getting through to her.

Nicky shook her head miserably. "Getting clean."

* * *

Piper eyed Nicky suspiciously. Behind the counter, she looked smaller and younger, more amiable. She even smiled at the customers as they passed her, offering menus to the elderly and paper towels to the kids with sticky fingers.

She'd been coming to this place since before she could even reach the handle, and not once had she seen Nicky around. For that she was thankful, because the copper curled junkie always managed to sour her day, but she was also confused. She couldn't fathom who would hire Nicky - and _why_ Nicky would get a job. She'd seen the numerous credit cards in her purse.

The heels of her shoe clacked against the tile floor as she walked up to the counter. Predictably, Nicky's sunny demeanor instantly clouded over when she saw Piper. She rolled her eyes and turned on her heel.

Red was immediately aware, even with her back turned and busy cleaning a table on the other side of the restaurant. She turned. "Nicky," she said, her tone scolding. She raised her eyebrow. "We have a customer."

Nicky narrowed her eyes but to Piper's surprise she actually walked back to the counter and smiled at Piper. "Hi," she said, her tone dripping with contempt. "What can I help you with?"

Piper smirked. Playing with her might be fun, she reasoned. Though she still hated the girl, Alex loved her. She kept that in mind, for hating the best friend of the first girl she'd ever really liked...like _that,_ might be playing her cards wrong.

"What are you doing here?"

"Working," Nicky said. "You might not be familiar with the concept...what are _you_ doing here?"

Piper ignored the slight. "We like the food here. Red does a good job. Our old maid, Claudette, is friends with her. She brought us along as kids." A smile crossed Piper's lips as she reminisced. It was a simpler time back then.

Nicky nodded, pressing her lips together. She wished her nanny would have brought her here as a kid. Maybe she would have met Red earlier, and maybe things would have worked out differently than they had.

Piper continued. "I'll have one Kulich and one…" she stopped, trying to think of what Alex would like. Though they'd spent more time than ever together lately, it was with time that the finer details of someone became clear. The little things, like how they take their coffee, what they like to eat...Piper hummed.

Nicky watched her. Though even the sight of her got her hackles up, she swallowed her pride for the sake of her friend. The fact that Red's eyes were burning at the back of her neck made it easier to do. "Alex likes the honey cakes."

Piper looked up in surprise, meeting Nicky's eye. She raised her eyebrows as she did so. "Have you been smoking weed?"

Nicky glared. "No."

"Your eyes are all red."

"I know," Nicky admitted reluctantly. She pawed at her eyes, and it was then that Piper noticed the small smudges of mascara on her cheeks. Nicky met Piper's eye again and kicked some dirt on the floor before raising her eyebrows hopefully. "How is Alex?"

The anger in Piper softened. It became obvious to her then he hadn't been doing drugs, she had been crying. "She's throwing up," she said, without any pleasure that she was causing Nicky pain.

Nicky cringed as she reached into the glass display case and took out what Piper had asked for, plus the honey cakes. "Least it'll put her off," she offered.

"What about you?" Piper asked, taking the items that Nicky had bagged. She passed her the money, and as Nicky placed it into the till asked, "will it put you off?"

Nicky leaned against the counter. "I hope so," she admitted, her voice cracking. She looked at Piper, blinking tears away. "I really hope so."

Piper rapped at Alex's front door with urgency. Her parents didn't know _exactly_ how far away the market was, but she couldn't push her freedom too far. Not after last night. When Alex came to the door, she was relieved. Alex's mom was nice, but she had neither the time nor the patience to deal with her. To her relief, Alex looked brighter. She still had rings under her eyes and her skin was still blotchy and red, but she was standing and smiling.

Alex grinned. "You came back," she said. Looking down at the box in Piper's hand, her eyebrows shot up. "Bearing gifts?"

"Yes, I hoped they'd soften the blow," Piper said, shifting the bag to her other hand.

"Of...coming down from heroin?" Alex asked uncertainly.

"No, I hope the heroin hurts like hell and you never do it again," she said. "To soften the blow of meeting my parents."

"What?" Alex crossed her arms. She'd never even met Sylvie's parents, and they had dated for two years. And to be honest, she wasn't even sure what she and Piper were - friends, business partners...more? It confused her more than she'd like to admit.

"I know, I know," Piper sighed, passing Alex the box. "But they said I wasn't allowed to see you again if they don't meet you. They're afraid you're a bad influence because of last night. I want to prove that you're not, and that we can be friends."

Alex raised her eyebrows at the word friends. It was yet another mixed message, but Piper didn't seem to notice.

"And I told my dad you run your own business," Piper boasted. "He seemed impressed."

Alex choked on air, shaking her head as she caught her breath. "You want me to impress your dad with my _drug_ business?! Are you fucking insane?"

"Well, I didn't tell him it was drugs, did I? You'll have to make it up a little." She brightened. "But that means you'll meet them, yes?"

Alex heaved a sigh, the nausea stirring in her stomach again. "I don't think I have much choice, do I?"

"Nope!" Piper laughed. She pecked Alex's cheek, smiling at her coyly. As she turned to leave, she called over her shoulder. "Not if you wanna keep me around, anyway!"

Alex watched her walk away, leaning against the door frame. "I do," she whispered to Piper's back. "I really really do."

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_

 _ **So. A fairly speedy update, right?!  
Thank you for all the reviews. You guys are so sweet and polite. Almost every review began with thank you and it made me smile.  
But thank you - for reading, for letting me know your thoughts!  
It really does make you want to keep writing.  
This was a pretty hard going chapter to write for whatever reason I hope you liked it anyway.  
Please let me know your thoughts once again and what you'd like to see!**_

 _ **Hope you're all good.**_

 _ **\- Star xo**_


	8. Chapter 8

Bundling her books into her locker, Piper tried to ignore Polly's eyes burning into her back. Despite the fact that Brook Soso's annoying giggle seemed to echo in the hallway behind her, she didn't feel jealous. With the last book shoved in haphazardly, Piper checked her phone for the tenth time since she'd walked into the building five minutes ago.

Though she wouldn't admit it, she was still worried that Alex was going to text her with some bullshit excuse as to why she wasn't coming to school that day, and consequently why she couldn't join her for dinner with her parents later. She didn't know why she was worried - if nothing else, Alex always stuck to her word. Annoyingly so, the blonde had to admit. It was her who chopped and changed and didn't mean what she said; a smile ghosted her lips as she remembered uttering the words ' _strictly business'_ all those weeks ago.

She rolled her eyes at herself, a blush sweeping across her cheeks. But it didn't stop the worry from churning in her stomach. Chewing on her lip, she smudged the lipstick she'd picked so carefully this morning. Worry wasn't like her. She was confident - overly so, sometimes, even she had to admit - independent, and she knew what she wanted and exactly how to get it. But Alex was her Achilles heel, the Daisy to her Gatsby. And it made her feel weak. Sure, she'd chased Larry, but that was fun. This felt like much higher stakes.

Her anxiety was so apparent it even caught the eye of Berdie, the new guidance counsellor. As Piper fiddled with her backpack, she strode over to investigate.

"What's up, Chapman?" She leaned against the lockers, brow knitted in concern. New in her role, she was eager to help students - sometimes _too_ eager. "You look like a turkey on Thanksgiving."

Piper slipped her backpack over her shoulders. She offered Berdie a wry smile, slamming the locker door shut. "Gobble gobble."

Berdie's face lit up at the prospect of a student in need. "You wanna talk about it? I'm free. I could write you a pass to miss first period."

As tempting as the offer sounded, Piper shook her head. "Thanks, though," she said, wrinkling her nose at the thought of airing her dirty laundry. "But I have to get my grades up. Can't miss French. Comprende?" Piper let herself laugh, hoping it sounded convincing enough to shake Berdie.

"Gotcha," Berdie nodded. "Let me know though, Chapman. I'm here to help."

"Mhm," Piper said, her eyes swiveling behind Berdie at the double doors where students were pouring in. Upon seeing seemingly everyone _but_ Alex, Piper sighed. "I will."

* * *

Meanwhile, Alex shared Piper's anxiety, albeit for very different reasons. She stood at Nicky's door, eyes glued to the floor as she hammered on the door. She hated this building. It was full of rich people. She groaned - rich people, exactly like who she was going to meet tonight. She sighed but pushed it out of her mind.

Hearing another bang on the door, Nicky stubbed out her cigarette with an annoyed huff. Grabbing her keys from the coffee table, she flung the door open.

"Yes?" she demanded, upon seeing Alex's face. She craned her neck to look over her shoulder, glancing at the clock hung up in the kitchen. "Shouldn't you be at school already?"

Alex glared. "You know you said you'd give me a ride."

Nicky leaned against the door frame, her brow furrowing. "No, _you_ said that."

Alex's mouth set in a hard line as she shifted her backpack to her other shoulder. "I'm gonna be late if you don't take me."

"That sounds like a you problem." As Nicky tilted her head, a smirk playing on her lips, Alex noticed the keys hanging from her fingers.

"You're an asshole."

"What?" Nicky said, unable to stop herself from laughing. She rolled those brown eyes of hers and grabbed her purse from the coffee table before jerking her chin in the direction of the hallway. "Let's go."

"To school?"

It sounded like a redundant question, but she was going to make sure. Nicky could afford to skip days and whilst Alex would prefer to not be there too, she _couldn't_ afford losing her partial scholarship.

Nicky rolled her eyes again. "Sure. But first we're stopping at Starbucks. You know, for breakfast."

This time it was Alex who rolled her eyes. "Coffee and cigarettes aren't breakfast."

Nicky raised her eyebrows as they walked out of the building. She opened up her car door. "What about coffee and heroin?"

Alex yanked the car door open. Despite having been clean for over a week now, it still churned her stomach to even contemplate drugs. "Not funny."

Nicky nodded. "Duly noted," she said, a hand running through her curls. She winked. "I'll try again next week."

* * *

It was as Alex sprinted into the building that Piper saw her. Hair flying everywhere and legs not quite co-ordinated with her body, Alex looked like a mess. Her usually pale cheeks had a rosy glow, and Piper took a moment just to watch her.

It was a strange feeling, looking at Alex. When she had looked at Larry, she'd always felt happy...but this was different. Butterflies swarmed in her stomach whenever she caught a glance of her. But not the bad kind, the kind that made her feel like she was on a rollercoaster at Disneyland again.

Yet with Larry it had been easier. She hadn't felt the need to hide him; he was the perfect boyfriend, in her parents' eyes. Straight As, straight laced, they'd accepted him instantly. Alex...Piper sighed. Alex was perfect to her, but to everyone else? The thought of telling her parents turned the butterflies in her stomach to bees.

Piper jogged over to Alex, who was so busy stuffing books into her locker that she didn't even notice Piper bounding over.

"You're here!" Piper exclaimed.

Alex jumped and tried to turn the grimace on her face into a smile as she turned to face Piper. The blonde had offered her a ride to school, and she'd been accepting it whilst Nicky played hooky in the past week or so, but she'd turned it down this morning. Every time she thought about meeting Piper's parents it made her feel sick, and she didn't feel like hearing Piper ramble about it on the car ride over.

The excitement and relief in Piper's voice made it feel worth it, though. Alex didn't need to force the smile as Piper shyly entwined their hands together. Alex let herself soak in the moment - it so rarely happened.

Though she tried to be patient with Piper, it grew very old very quickly when she shoved her hand away in the hallways and tried not to let herself smile too much around her. Even now she ripped her hand away as a set of footsteps sounded down the hallway.

"It's only Nicky," Alex said defensively.

Piper wrung her hands. "Sorry," she said, quickly taking Alex's hand in her own again. Not even Nicky's presence could dampen her spirits. "I'm just so glad you're here. I thought you might bail on me."

"I wouldn't do that to you," Alex reassured her. She gave her hand a quick squeeze and pecked her lips. "I need to get to class, okay? But how about we meet after school and you can help me decide what to wear? What do you even wear to a dinner party?" Her brow knitted together.

Piper grinned. "I'll meet you at yours?"

Alex drew her in for a quick hug, wondering if Piper could feel her hammering heart underneath her top. "See you then."

Nicky raised her eyebrows at Piper. The girl made Alex happy, but she didn't know how. She wouldn't even hold her hand in the hallways. Nicky let out a sigh. "Don't fuck it up."

Piper straightened, the smile slipping for a moment. "I won't," she whispered. "Really - this time I won't."

* * *

Alex bit her lip as she held up a dress in each hand, holding them up in front of her alternately. Neither looked right and, throwing them on the bed behind her, she sighed. She didn't have a thousand dresses to choose from like Piper probably did. And she was desperate to make a good impression.

"Wear the green one," Piper murmured, holding it in front of Alex. Resting her chin on Alex's shoulder, she smiled at her in the mirror. She smoothed the dress out, her hand grazing over the top of Alex's thigh. "It matches your eyes."

A smile played on Alex's lips and she turned to face Piper. "Is that so?"

"Mhm," Piper said. She laced her hand in Alex's, touching their noses together. It was the private moments like this that both of them had grown to cherish. It was the feel of Piper's skin, the sound of her laugh, the smell of her perfume...those were what she thought about in dark moments. The thoughts that had slowly replaced seeing Nicky lying unconscious on the floor when she closed her eyes to go to sleep.

Alex broke first, pulling away. "We're going to be late," she said reluctantly. "I need to get changed and put my makeup on."

Though she was frowning at Alex pulling away, Piper perked up at that. "Can I do your makeup?"

Alex laughed, unable to say no to such a harmless request. Handing her the makeup bag, she nodded. "No pink. Okay?"

Piper grinned as she rummaged through the bag. "Deal!"

Alex let Piper pick through her makeup bag, and though she was sure the makeup from the drugstore wasn't comparable to whatever Piper plastered over her own face, she didn't complain. After shimmying into the dress that felt completely unnatural to her, she sat in front of Piper.

Piper reached out and slipped her glasses off of her face. She gently folded them and placed them on her lap. "You have such beautiful skin."

"Thanks," Alex said, shrugging the compliment off. She'd always been too pale, to pasty... _vampire._ To hear someone compliment her was nice, but foreign. Piper softly swept the brush over Alex's skin. Her touch was so light that it tickled, and Alex shivered. "That feels nice," she murmured. Piper let her hand trail down Alex's cheek to her neck.

"I know," Piper said, smiling. "Now close your eyes...I think a cat eye." She deftly swiped the eyeliner pen over her lid. "There," she said, reaching for a mascara. "You look beautiful. My parents will love you. They really will." _Like I do._

Alex peeked open her eyes and coated her own lashes in mascara as Piper marveled at her work. "You think?" Alex said.

"Of course I do," Piper said. And it sounded like she meant it. "One more thing before the lipstick," Piper said.

"What's that?"

Piper leaned forward and connected their lips. Alex was surprised, but leaned into it. It just felt... _right._ But Piper pulled away as Alex started to rake her fingers through her hair.

Alex looked up. "That was a tease."

Piper grinned. "A tease, or a preview?" she asked. Then she was back to her usual self, efficient and abrupt. "Now come on. Put your heels on and we'll get going. And no drugs talk," she said, as if Alex needed to be reminded.

Alex rolled her eyes, the tingle on her lips still her main focus. "Yes, boss."

* * *

Upon arriving at her house, Piper opened up the door and let Alex go in first. The brunette hung back a little, looking around curiously, and turned to Piper as she shut the door.

"Don't be nervous," Piper laughed. Seeing Alex bite her lip and wring her hands wasn't something she was used to, but it was sweet. "They're looking forward to meeting you."

"That's what I'm nervous about," Alex grumbled. "They expect someone like Polly. Not someone like _me."_

"They're expecting Alex Vause. That's you, isn't it?" Piper said, giving Alex's hand a quick squeeze before her mother walked into the room.

Piper shot her a look before she greeted Alex.

"You must be Alex!" Mrs Chapman said, walking over in a cloud of perfume and lipstick and enveloping Alex in a quick hug. She raised her eyebrows at Piper, ignoring the fact that her daughter looked mortified. "Piper's told me all about her new friend."

She omitted to mention the part about staying out all night, and worrying that she was a bad influence, but Alex got that feeling anyway.

The word _friend_ was another point of contention, but Alex bit her tongue. What _were_ she and Piper to each other, anyway? She didn't know, she really didn't.

Piper watched the cogs turning in Alex's mind. She immediately wanted to correct her mom, tell her that she was so much _more_ than just a friend...but she couldn't, and she didn't. The moment slipped away.

"Hi, Mrs Chapman," Alex said with forced brightness, pulling away. But as she stepped further into the room, the scent of cooking wafted from the kitchen. To Alex, it reminded her of restaurants she could never afford. With more sincerity, she exclaimed, "Something smells wonderful!"

Carol smiled, brushing her hair back. "Well, I hope you're hungry. Dinner is ready and waiting."

The meal drew to an easy end with finished plates sitting in front of everybody and small talk still bubbling. Alex said a silent thank you to the fact that it had passed without any major hiccups.

* * *

"Thanks, Mrs Chapman," Alex said, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin. "That was really delicious."

She wasn't exaggerating to be polite - she really meant it. Anything her and Diane ate at their house was either takeout or convenience food. This felt like gourmet cooking, even if it was modest dining by their standards.

Mrs Chapman raised her eyebrows. None of her own children were ever grateful for their dinners. Polly hadn't ever eaten. She was always turning vegan or gluten free and not even Piper had been able to keep up with it.

Mrs Chapman folded her hands on the table, beaming at Alex. "Thank you, dear."

Alex forced a smile. "Do you need any help with cleaning up? Maybe the dishes?" she offered.

Cal burst out laughing. The thought of his mother standing at the sink, suds up to her elbows and donning rubber gloves amused him. "Mom doesn't do the _dishes!"_

Alex stared at him.

A smile played on Piper's lips and she ran her foot along Alex's leg under the table. "One of Miss Claudette's girls will come and do them later," she explained.

"But still," Mrs Chapman said, taking a sip of wine as Alex eyed the glass. "It was nice of you to offer."

"No worries," Alex said easily, taking a sip of the lemonade she'd been given. "Mom says it's always best to ask." Or she had, before everything went South.

"She sounds lovely," Mrs Chapman says. "Perhaps we could invite her round, Bill...what is it that your father does again, Alex?"

"Oh, he used to be in a band," she mumbled, waving her hand. "He runs a little record label now. But he's really busy.."

"Maybe just your mother then?" she persisted.

Piper set her glass down with a sigh. "Not everyone has as much free time as you, mom. Alex's mom is probably too busy too."

Carol shot Piper a look that silenced her. But before she could continue, Mr Chapman butt in with a point of his own.

"So, Alex," he said smoothly, ignoring the daggers his wife was shooting him, "I hear you have a business of your own. How's that?"

"It's going okay," Alex said, her tone guarded. Cautious of saying too much, she was coming across as cagey. Piper offered her an encouraging smile.

"You know, my grandfather started his own business from the ground up. He grew up dirt poor," he continued. A frown appeared on Carol's face; her own family had been wealthy for generations. He dabbed at his own mouth with a napkin, ignoring his wife's murmuring. "What is it that you do? I've told Piper her soap business is a fad. No-one cares about sustainable palm oil, do they? Hell, I don't even know what palm oil is."

Alex hid a smile as Piper opened her mouth to protest but thought better of it.

"I do supply and demand...like a catalogue," Alex said carefully. When Mr Chapman nodded, she continued. "People come to me and tell me what they want, and I order it. Some kids…" she shrugged, "I guess they'd rather have someone else doing the grunt work."

"That's the problem with kids these days," he complained, his eyes flashing to his youngest son quickly, as Cal flicked a pea at Piper. "They're lazy."

Alex sat on her hands. "I can't afford to be lazy."

Carol raised her eyebrows. "I thought you said your father was successful?"

"Well, he is," she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "But that doesn't mean I am."

Bill nodded, drinking from his glass. "Good attitude. I've told Piper's brothers that they won't just be handed money on a silver platter."

Alex smiled, wondering about Piper. Did she get told the same? She doubted it, for Piper seemed to get whatever she wanted.

"Thanks," Alex said sincerely. "I'm saving up."

"What for?" Piper asked.

Alex shrugged. "Just the future," she said. At one point she wasn't even sure she had one. But with Piper by her side, it made her want one. And now every cent she earned went towards it.

"The future," Piper repeated. It sounded good on her lips and she smiled through it. "The future is a pretty smart thing to save for."

"I agree," Mr Chapman said. He nudged his wife, raising his eyebrows. "Maybe some of that attitude could rub off on Piper."

Piper rolled her eyes, but laughed. Alex smiled at her from across the table. If it meant her parents giving her carte blanche to spend as much time with Alex as she wanted, then she didn't care.

"Can I take Alex down to the lake?"

Carol looked up in surprise. "But you haven't wanted to go down to the lake in years, Piper."

"I know," she said, smiling as she remembered all the fun she used to have there as a little girl. "But Alex has never been."

Carol looked to Bill. "You're really supposed to be grounded still."

Piper locked eyes with her dad, silently pleading. Bill reached over and squeezed his wife's hand, unable to say no to his little girl.

"You know keeping her grounded is just a punishment for you, Carol," he said, stifling a chuckle. "Let the girls go have fun. They're only young once."

Carol pressed her lips together, but finally she relented. She nodded her head in the direction of the door, waving her hand. She was always a little more amiable after a few glasses. "Go on then."

* * *

Piper cut the engine as she saw the lake coming into view, and as soon as she'd yanked the keys out of the ignition she ran out onto the grass. The sun still shone through the trees framing the lake, and a halo of gold shone over Piper's blonde hair.

Alex pushed her own car door open. She was too full from dinner to run, but she strolled over to Piper, who looked utterly content. Streams of light hit off of her tanned skin.

"Can we just...sit here and forget the world?" Piper said, flinging off her heels and running over the grass in bare feet.

Alex laughed, but kicked off her own heels too. Both pairs sat on the grass in a heap. "It didn't go that bad, did it?"

"Nooo," Piper insisted. "It went well. Dad loved you, I could tell. Mom...well, you know moms." She flashed Alex an apologetic smile.

"I do know moms," she sighed, raising her eyebrows. "Not sure how you could tell your dad loved me, though. I think you're being generous."

Piper flopped down next to the lake. Her hair fanned out around her and she didn't seem to care that there were grass stains on her white dress. "Aren't I always?"

Alex picked at a hangnail, not as sure of herself as she once had been. "Mm."

"He didn't pick up his work phone once," Piper said after a beat. She stayed laying down, staring at the blue skies. "He was actually interested in what you had to say."

Alex jumped to her feet, brushed the dirt from her dress, and plucked a dandelion from the side of the riverbank.

From her position lying on the bank, Piper watched, her nose wrinkling as she squinted in the sunset. It was the beginnings of a beautiful night; the sky an artist's canvas, splattered with candy floss clouds and patches of fading blue skies, it was almost as breathtaking to Piper as the girl in front of her.

The brunette closed her eyes, clutching the little weed like a lifeline. If Piper could have kept that image in her mind forever, she would have.

Sitting up, Piper splashed her feet in the cool water. The low summer breeze danced through her hair, and she raked her fingers through it as she brushed it back. A smile skimped her lips as Alex blew on the dandelion, sending the seeds flying into the air. Nature's confetti blustered around them, some getting caught in Alex's hair.

Piper threw her head back in easy laughter. "What are you doing?"

Alex peeked an eye open. "Making a wish."

Piper turned over, laying on her stomach on the grass. She rested her chin on her palm, elbows dug into the dirt, and tilted her head. "What did you wish for?"

"Nuh-uh," Alex said. "You don't get to know. Or they don't come true. Right?" Alex threw the discarded dandelion to the side and plucked another. She handed it to Piper. "Make your own wish."

"I'm glad you agreed to meet my parents," Piper said. She stopped, ripping a blade of grass in two.

Alex raised an eyebrow, sensing there was more to come. "Me too," she agreed. And she meant it, she really did - though she'd been dreading it since the subject had ever been brought up, it had gone much better than she'd ever hoped for.

After picking the petals from a daisy, Piper looked up. "I'm sorry I said you were a friend."

Alex closed her eyes, a wistful smile aimed at the grass. "It's okay," she said, her voice uncharacteristically soft. She ran her fingers through the blades, the dirt collecting underneath her fingernails. "I...I get it, you know."

Piper scoffed, not unkindly, but as if she couldn't believe it. Alex didn't seem to mind. A small snort filled the silence as she laughed.

"I do," Alex insisted, shaking her head. "When I first brought home a girlfriend, my mom laughed. She said…" Alex shrugged self-consciously. "Well, it doesn't matter what she said. But I didn't need to hear it." She contemplated saying what her dad had said, but that was too painful to repeat, even after all these years.

"I'm sorry," Piper said. "I don't wanna...mess with your head," she said. Drawing her knees up to her chest, she brushed her wet feet off to have something other than Alex's face to focus on. "Was that...was that Sylvie?"

She'd heard rumors about her. _Bad_ rumors. But she was curious, and looked up at Alex, who let out a low chuckle. Alex shook her head.

"No," she said. "Sylvie and I started dating a couple of years ago, when I was turning fifteen," she explained as Piper nodded. "I brought home my first girlfriend at thirteen."

"Thirteen?" Piper echoed, a blush sweeping her cheeks. Larry had been her first boyfriend, and they'd only been dating for six months or so. "That's so young."

A smile ghosted Alex's lips. "Well, it's not about who you start with, is it? It's about who you end up with."

Piper reached out a hand to Alex. She scooted closer. The brunette instantly took Piper's hand, brushing her thumb over the back of it.

"Yeah," Piper said, nodding. She squeezed Alex's hand, leaning back against her so that her head rested against Alex's chest. "I guess it is."

"Hey Piper?" Alex said. Piper felt so natural in her arms, but she couldn't resist asking.

Piper looked up. "Mm?"

"Ever been skinny dipping?"

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_

 _ **Hi lovelies! How are you?**  
 **Thank you so much for all the reviews. I hope you liked this chapter.  
**_ _ **Some of you asked for a fluffier, lighter chapter, so ask and you shall receive...hopefully this was something close to what you were wanting.  
**_ _ **I can do more fluff in the future if not.**  
_

 _ **Please leave a review telling me your thoughts. I love them and you're all sweethearts.  
It also really spurs me on and I'm trying to update this fairly regularly. Let me know what you want to see in the future.**_

 _ **Hope you're all good.**_

 _ **\- Star xo**_


	9. Chapter 9

The light had faded to a dusky pink sky, and the cicadas sang a symphony in the long grass surrounding the lake. All was peaceful, until a shriek rang through the air.

"This isn't as fun as I thought it would be!" Piper squealed, having just dived into the lake stark naked. She threw her head back laughing, not caring that the mascara ran down both her cheeks.

The silence that followed was filled with peals of laughter from Alex, who watched from the bank. "You are crazy," Alex said through giggles, her cheeks tingeing as pink as the sky above them. "You realize it's freezing out here, right?" The brunette adjusted her glasses and folded her arms. "I was kidding about the skinny dipping."

Piper responded in the most mature way she could think of; by making chicken noises. She smacked the water with her hand, sending splashes up to hit Alex. "Are you a chicken, Vause?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "A warm chicken."

Piper raised her eyebrows, but couldn't stop the cheeky grin from turning the corners of her lips upwards. "Are you saying I'm not hot?"

Piper rested her head against the bank. Her hair hung around her shoulders in wet rat tails, and mascara trailed down both of her cheeks. She looked ridiculous, but not to Alex. Never, to Alex. " _Please_ join me?" Piper asked, batting her eyelashes.

Alex rolled her eyes, looking down at Piper. Droplets of water glistened on her skin, hitting off of the fading sunlight. She resisted the urge to reach down for her, to caress the soft skin on her neck. If she started she wouldn't be able to stop. Her fingers would get tangled in her drenched hair as she raked them through it, her lips would touch Piper's as they basked in the glorious dusk the day had granted them…

"What are you staring at?" Piper asked, hugging her arms around herself. "Have I got something on my face?" She swatted at her cheek to see if there was a leaf or some other debris that Alex was looking at.

A smile skimped Alex's features and a blush swept her cheeks. "Oh, nothing," she said, stumbling over her words. She turned round, hiding her burning cheeks from Piper. Looking up at the candy floss clouds in the sky, she wondered what an _actual_ relationship with Piper would be like. Not stealing kisses in shadows and holding hands under tables, but something tangible and open. It seemed so far away and unlikely, she didn't like to dwell on it. Because when she did, she felt hope - and that was something her jaded heart hadn't felt in a long time.

As Alex cloud watched, Piper's hands snaked out of the water. She grabbed Alex by the ankles and yanked her down into the water. Her laughter rang out clearly...until Alex's head didn't break the surface of the water.

Piper's eyes scanned the water. She was beginning to feel sick. And then she felt fingers scratching at her legs, clawing at her for a lifeline.

Alex's hands scrambled to grab for any part of Piper, her body sparing her blushes in her attempt to find air again. Meanwhile, any of Piper's self consciousness went out of the window as she pulled Alex up, clinging on to her and holding her close. When she yanked Alex's head out of the water, hearing the coughing almost instantly, Piper sent a silent thank you to the sky.

Alex spluttered as Piper held her up. When she caught her breath, she glared at Piper. "You could have killed me!"

"I didn't know you couldn't swim! _You_ suggested skinny dipping!" Piper said, shock coursing through her veins. Her heart was hammering and adrenaline was pumping around her body. It had nowhere to go but out of her mouth. "Why the hell didn't you say?!"

"I'm not like you!" Alex exploded. "I didn't go to summer camp and swim in lakes and make friendship bracelets! No-one was _around_ to teach me to swim!" She gasped some more air in, her lungs begging for relief. "Me and my friends aren't like _you."_

"What?" Piper scoffed. "What about Nicky?"

"Nicky's _different,"_ Alex insisted, shivering on the bank. "She doesn't have a mom that cares. I know your mom pisses you off but you take one look at her and you just _know_ that you and your brothers are her world. Hell, even Diane takes an interest in me. God knows she's got her problems but she loves me, I know that. If you asked Nicky if her mom loved her, she wouldn't be able to answer."

Alex played with a blade of grass, her eyes fixed on it. She shrugged, her lips turning a light shade of blue as she trembled with the cold. "You and me...we're just _different."_

Piper nodded, letting a strand of wet hair fall in front of her face. To say she felt crushed was an understatement, but she didn't know how to make it better. In the past, _she_ had never been the one with making up to do. Larry had always been the one showing up at her doorstep with flowers. But something told her Alex wasn't a flowers kinda gal.

"I know…" Piper said softly, running a finger along her bottom lip. "But that's why I like you."

Alex sighed, her anger quickly dissipating and being replaced with resigned disappointment. "No. That's why this," Alex gestured between the two of them, "won't work."

"It doesn't have to be that way," Piper said. She touched Alex's arm and recoiled at the icy feel of her skin. "Come on. Let's sit in the car."

Piper wrapped her dress around herself, grabbed both pairs of shoes, and trailed Alex to her car. She unlocked it, grabbed the blanket her father made her put there ' _for emergencies'_ and handed it to Alex.

"Wrap this around yourself," she said. "Take off the wet clothes. You'll get hypothermia out here."

Alex obliged, shimmying out of the dress that clung to her now. She always hated getting wet. It reminded her of long waits at the bus stop when her mom was between cars, and the rain seeping into sneakers that had been worn to the point that their soles gave out. She wiggled her toes now, thankful that she didn't have to walk home.

Piper sat in the driver's side, waiting for Alex to slide in next to her. She switched on the ignition and then the heating to full blast. Alex raised her eyebrows.

"That's gonna use up all your gas."

Piper didn't know how true that was, but she didn't particularly care. She wrinkled her nose. "You're worth more than a tank of gas, Alex."

Alex looked away, watching the birds flock above them out of the window. She followed them as they dipped in and out of trees, swathed in the moonlight.

Piper watched the back of her head. Her hand reached out to touch Alex's back, but she stopped herself. Despite still dripping with water herself, she turned the heating vents to face only Alex. If she noticed, she didn't react.

"Let me spend some time with them," Piper said slowly, after a moment of silence. She had always hated silence. "Your friends, I mean. I want to get to know them. I want to be a part of your life, Alex."

"Really?" Alex turned. Her lips were rosy again, and Piper had to tear her eyes away from them. " _You_ want to spend time with my friends?"

"For you, yes," Piper confirmed. "Nothing worth having is easy, right?"

Alex thought of her business, and how many people had told her she was wasting her time. How many people said she would amount to nothing because of where she came from. If something was worth it, then it was worth doing well. Alex nodded, not looking sure but willing to try.

"Let me sort something out."

"Yay!" Piper couldn't help the smile that lit up her face. "Oh, and Alex?" she said, her smile fading away. "I'm sorry for...well, you know. I would never have done it if I thought you could get hurt. You know that, right?"

Alex nodded. As mad as she had been from the shock, she did know that. She smirked. "I was just enjoying the view before you almost killed me."

"We can come here again," Piper said, Alex's innuendo going over her head. "It's always pretty empty. The view is gorgeous."

Alex rolled her eyes. "I meant you, Piper."

Piper's cheeks glowed. She tilted her head. "In that case, the view is right here." Her eyes flitted back down to Alex's lips, and she leaned in. She wasn't quite brave enough to touch her lips to Alex's, and the brunette leaned forward to connect them.

Sparks flying had always been delegated to books and fairytales for Piper, but with Alex, they came to life. She reluctantly drew away. "You're still freezing," she whispered, her fingers coming up to gently touch Alex's lips.

"This'll warm me up," Alex said, tangling her fingers in Piper's hair like she had imagined earlier. The kiss deepened. Alex's hands traced patterns on Piper's thigh, figures of eights and fingernails trailing across goosebump littered skin, making the blonde shiver from not just the cold.

Piper's timid hand comes up to wrap around Alex's neck, pulling her closer. Their bodies pressed together, chest to chest, and their noses brushed against each other's cheeks.

Blue eyes met green and it was like the stars had aligned in their favor. Clothes were already strewn everywhere, the kiss had left both wanting more..but Piper pulled away.

"We should get going," she said finally.

"Is...something wrong?" Alex said.

"No," Piper replied. She rested her forehead against Alex's. It really wasn't. "But not now. Not like this. Not after I almost drowned you," she joked. "My brother sits in that sit when I take him to school. I don't want... _our_ moment to be here. I want it to be special. Because you are."

Alex didn't know if she believed it, but she nodded anyway. "I can wait," she said, tucking a strand of Piper's hair out of her eyes and behind her ear. "It'll be worth it."

* * *

A few days later, Piper found herself in the midst of a sleepover at Nicky Nichols' house. Needless to say, it wasn't Piper's idea - nor was it Alex's or Nicky's. Lorna had suggested a slumber party (something she had never had growing up with parents who didn't want their own kids in the house, let alone anyone else's), and with Marka gone and Nicky unable to say no to Lorna, the day was finally here.

Chinese food sat in the middle of the circle they had formed. Lorna sat on one side of Nicky, Alex on the other. Piper sat across from Nicky, cross legged in her matching silk pajamas. She bit her lip as she stabbed her chow mein, skewering a few noodles before pushing them around the plate instead of eating them.

Ordering take-out had been the last thing in a long line of traditional slumber party activities. Nicky had rolled her eyes at each and every one, including the truth or dare where the only embarrassed one was Piper, but to her credit, she had gone along with them all.

Tonight had meant a lot to Alex; she didn't want to mess it up by pissing off Nicky, or saying the wrong thing to Lorna. The girls were weird and reactive to the smallest thing, but they were Alex's friends. And whilst Piper was full of confidence, this was something she hadn't yet experienced - being friends with someone who came from such different backgrounds to her was foreign.

How she had convinced Nicky to hold it at her house was a question for another night, but something Piper was particularly curious about, and she looked to the blonde. She assumed it was to spend more time with Lorna, a bubbly brunette who had giggled maniacally as Piper had knocked on the door, but she couldn't be sure.

"You know, Sylvie just got out of juvie," Nicky said, taking a drag from her cigarette. She didn't feel the same apprehension. "The crazy bitch spent six months locked up and the first thing she does on the outside is hit up a dealer."

Piper watched the smoke rise up, wrinkling her nose at the thought of the smell clinging to the furniture. Alex didn't seem to notice. Her attention was firmly on Nicky's words, and her heart started hammering under her shirt at the thought of Sylvie being free.

The rumors had flown about Alex's old flame, and whilst Alex never really spoke about her, Piper knew she was still pretty infamous around town. Her own ears pricked up at the mention.

"You should probably prepare yourself for a visit," Nicky continued, rolling her eyes and waving the cigarette in the air. "You know what she's like. Unfinished business and all."

Piper glanced at Nicky. "Unfinished business?"

"Mm," Nicky said, not willing to give up any more information. She took a swig from her Starbucks cup, downing the rest of the coffee, and raised her eyebrows at Alex. The lack of a response was more interesting to her than the opportunity to piss off Piper. She stubbed out her cigarette and dropped it into the cup, pushing it onto the coffee table. "Wonder when she'll show up."

"Who knows," Alex murmured. She shook her head, leaning back against the couch. "Have you seen her?"

"Nope," Nicky said. She raised an eyebrow pointedly. "Thank God."

Piper shifted, uncrossing her legs and sitting on her knees instead. "Why?" she asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Is she dangerous?"

Nicky opened her mouth to reply, but when Lorna shot her a glare across the circle, she stopped short. Piper hid a smile at the tiny brunette being able to control Nicky.

"No," she said carefully, her tone measured. She caught Nicky's eye, raising her eyebrows. "But if you see her, avoid her."

"Is she causing you a problem?" Piper asked.

Alex opened her fortune cookie, the crunch deafening in the otherwise silent room. "No."

"Alex-"

"Piper, I said _no_."

A small silence ensued, before Lorna piped up again. She was in her element, and despite the tension, Nicky couldn't help but smile. "So...manicures?"

* * *

Later that night, when Nicky and Lorna had sneaked off somewhere to be alone, Alex took the opportunity to say what had been playing on her mind.

"Piper," Alex said, squeezing Piper's shoulders with conviction. "Promise me you won't talk to Sylvie. Don't go look for her, don't ask around about her, don't even _think_ about her."

Piper gave a quick, shallow nod, her brow furrowing. She tucked her left hand behind her back.

"Okay," she finally said, both shocked and intrigued by the intensity with which Alex was asking her this. If anything, it made her more curious. Crossing her fingers on the hand behind her back, she echoed, "I promise."

* * *

 _ **A/N:  
**_ _ **I know it's been a while but this was just a hard chapter to write for whatever reason! But I hope you liked it.  
Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews. You guys are all so sweet.  
** **Also, thanks to the guest reviewer on Midnight Lullabies who told me about someone copying this on Wattpad! It wasn't me, and I'm so grateful you took the time to let me know. I assume you read this one too, so thank you! So annoying!  
Please leave a review letting me know your thoughts. I love hearing from you all.  
**_

 _ **Hope you're all good!**_

 _ **\- Star xo**_


	10. Chapter 10

"So she's all like, ' _but I wanna save myself for marriage, and he's okay with that! Isn't he gorgeous? Isn't he perfect?'_ Perfect!" Nicky scoffed. "There's no way a teenage boy is okay with waiting till marriage. That's bullshit. He's just waiting for her to get drunk. And _saving_ herself? Does she think that I don't count?"

An arched eyebrow is the only thing that indicates Alex is listening. Her head is still bent over a stack of papers in her lap as she sits cross legged, her phone balancing on her knee.

Nicky scowled at her own phone, an image of Lorna and her boyfriend staring back at her. Her stomach always exploded in butterflies when she saw Lorna's name pop up on her phone, but any mention of boyfriends turned the butterflies into bees.

She threw the phone down. "Fuck Christopher. He's an ass."

Alex fingers worked quickly as she rifled through the basket of baggies in front of her. She squinted at the powders, pills and various other things she offered for sale. The inventory that she once knew like the back of her hand blurred together. It pained her to say that she'd dropped the ball on her business; the one thing that allowed her some freedom, not to mention that it kept the lights on and put food on the table.

She'd been so busy with Piper that it had fallen by the wayside - and her customers were losing patience. Kids at school came to her because she was discreet, inconspicuous. Perhaps more importantly, she had no credibility. Even if she were to accuse any of them of using and abusing drugs, no-one would believe her over perfect prep kids. Alex didn't particularly care. It was a quid pro quo, and anything that led to loyal customers was a bonus to her.

Her phone vibrating enthusiastically on her knee was proof of that. Yet instead of the usual excitement bubbling up under her surface at the messages, her heart sank. Alex ran her finger over her eyebrow, rubbing at her temple. She could still vaguely hear Nicky complaining as she picked the phone up to reply.

"Are you even listening?" Nicky snapped.

Alex looked up from her phone, pinching the bridge of her nose.

She loved Nicky. She really did, she'd been happy to see her when the doorbell rang that afternoon, and usually she'd have been fine to listen Nicky rambling on about Lorna for hours. She'd rather that over Nicky going out and getting high to forget, slumped in an alleyway somewhere. But today, as the pressure piled on from every other aspect of her life, she found herself getting frazzled.

"Yes, Nicky," she said, her tone equally as biting. "I"ve been listening for the past fucking hour! Lorna's acting...exactly how she always acts?" she asked, her forehead creasing. "And you're what, surprised? It's what she does. Who said ' _the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result?'_ again?"

"Einstein," Nicky replied, unable to miss the opportunity to be a smartass. "And you realize it's not just Lorna, right? It's straight girls in general." She leaned back, cocking one eyebrow self assuredly. "Just wait till _Pipes_ goes back to Larry."

Alex's lips twisted into a pucker as she stared at Nicky. She chewed the inside of her cheek, and her voice wasn't as strong as she intended when she finally spoke. "That's not true."

The little wobble in Alex's voice snapped Nicky out of her bad mood. She heaved a loud sigh, lit up a cigarette, and took a long drag. Upon exhaling, she shook her head. "No," she said, blowing out the last bit of smoke. Her voice had lost its edge. "You're right. Piper's at _least_ a three on the Kinsey scale."

Alex rolled her eyes, but a smile played on her lips. "Did she tell you that?"

"Yeah," Nicky said without hesitation. She rolled her own eyes, but in good nature. Piper was too peppy and too concerned about her image for Nicky's liking, but she knew herself and knew how to get under Nicky's skin. Conversations with her were never boring. Infuriating sometimes, yes, but Nicky never left them without a smirk curling her lips upwards.

Alex was amused, but her smile faded as she looked at the basket in her lap again. She hadn't filled a single order in a week. Nicky noticed, her eyes seeing right through Alex. Slowly, she sat up, her brow furrowing.

"What's up?" Nicky asked. "You've been staring at that thing for ages." Nicky's eyes flitted down to the basket. She rolled her cigarette between her fingers, blowing smoke upwards. "What I wouldn't do for a hit of...well, anything. Got any spares?" Her voice rose hopefully.

Alex's fingers curled around the basket. "No," she said tightly. She scraped her hair back, resting her glasses atop her head. "I don't even know what I've got."

"I can help," Nicky said eagerly. "I know _exactly_ how you could pay me."

Alex placed the basket behind her. "Yeah, right," she scoffed. She chewed on her bottom lip. "But I know someone who'd _love_ to."

Nicky leaned on her elbow. She stubbed out her cigarette and waved her hand. "Go on," Nicky said. "Go find Piper. Let her be your little drug mule. A fairytale ending if I ever did see one."

Alex grinned, shoving fistfuls of baggies into her backpack. "No hard feelings?" she asked, wrinkling her nose. She pulled Nicky up with her as she came to a stand.

"No hard feelings," Nicky confirmed.

"You know," Alex said, swinging the front door open and letting Nicky walk out first. She shrugged her backpack further up her shoulders. "One day you're gonna find someone you love. Someone you _really_ love."

Nicky pressed her lips together. "Yeah, yeah," she said quietly. She jerked her head up, chin to the sky. "Shame she doesn't love me back," she muttered.

Alex's eyes softened and she regretted snapping earlier. Reaching out and giving Nicky a quick hug, she lingered for longer than she usually did, and Nicky didn't pull away until she did.

"Have fun, kid," Nicky managed. She forced a smile. "I think you've found that person already."

Alex laughed softly, a little huff from her nose the only noise. "Yeah," she said, nodding slowly. "I think so too."

* * *

Piper scowled at her reflection in the mirror. She ran her finger underneath one eye, sighing as the warpaint Lorna called makeup stubbornly stayed put on her skin. It hadn't budged when Piper had attacked her face with a makeup wipe when she'd returned home earlier that morning, and the shower she'd just stepped out of was clearly no match for it either.

There was a light knock on the door. "Piper?"

Piper turned, recognizing the accent that called softly for her. She wrapped the fluffy white towel tighter around herself, tucking it under her armpit to keep it in place. Easing the door open,she poked her head round the small gap she'd created between the door and the frame.

"Good morning, Miss Claudette."

Miss Claudette smiled back at Piper. "Morning," she returned, brushing her hair back. "I'm putting on a white wash. Do you have any?" she asked, holding her basket out expectantly.

To Piper, Miss Claudette always exuded confidence - something she encouraged Piper to instill in herself. They might have been worlds apart, but the older woman had watched Piper grow up. Despite their differences, she was proud of the young lady she was becoming.

"Mhm," Piper said, balling up the clothes she'd just taken off and absently throwing them into the basket.

"Everything okay?" Miss Claudette inquired, resting the basket lazily against her hip. She raised an eyebrow.

Piper shrugged. Ever since Alex had warned her off of Sylvie, she had wanted nothing more than to find out what really happened. _Everyone_ else seemed to know, why couldn't she? It went round in a loop in her head. Maybe it wasn't just that. Maybe it was that Alex made her feel things that Larry never had - including jealousy. She'd felt more than secure with Larry, but maybe that was because Larry was simple, uncomplicated - and no-one else had been lurking in the shadows, because she'd been his first, and no-one would dare to try and take him away from her because she was _Piper Chapman, don't ya know?_

"I just don't feel like myself," she replied honestly enough, crossing her arms over herself. Her hair dripped behind her, a mess of wet rat tails. In front of anyone else, Piper might have felt self-conscious. But Miss Claudette had always been around - she felt like part of the house by now, sturdy and constant. She'd watched Piper blossom into a teenager, and she knew the trials and tribulations she was facing, even if they'd come from different backgrounds. Being a teenager was unpleasant at times for every culture and generation. No amount of privilege could pay off hormones.

Miss Claudette offered a sympathetic smile. "Mm, you don't look like yourself, either," she said, flicking a strand of Piper's hair. She chuckled. "Try some witch hazel for the makeup, hm? And why don't you go get yourself a blow dry?"

Piper shrugged again, unconvinced. "I don't know…"

"You used to go every week," Miss Claudette pointed out. "Things are changing around here. And I don't just mean Cal's voice." She gave Piper a pointed look. "So squeaky."

Piper finally let herself laugh. "It is," she readily agreed. "Maybe I will go for a blow dry. It might take my mind off of things." She beamed at Miss Claudette, but then frowned. "You've changed your tune, though. _Miss Piper, don't you think that's a waste of your father's hard earned money?"_ she mimicked.

Miss Claudette smiled. "You got me," she said. "A friend of a friend just opened up a hair salon around here. It would be nice if she got some customers that don't try to pay in food stamps."

Piper held back a sigh. She had seen the new hair salon that had just opened, and she doubted she would have ever stepped in there of her own accord. It was brand new, but the appliances were older than her usual salon. The stylist would definitely not offer her a green tea and a cookie there, she knew that much. But she hated disappointing Miss Claudette. Something about that stare just cut through her.

"Fine," Piper said after a beat. "But if I come back with hair big enough to go to an eighties tribute party, you'll be brushing it out for me."

Miss Claudette rolled her eyes, like she hadn't spent half of Piper's childhood giving into requests to brush her hair. She wanted a hundred brush strokes before bed ( _just like a princess, Miss Claudette!)_ and her mother would never give into the begging. Never having had children of her own, it was somewhat of a novelty. And the way the little girl would beam up at her, her golden hair fanned out on the pillow afterwards, made it all worth it.

Miss Claudette nodded agreeably. "I liked the hair in the eighties," she said simply. "It distracted from the clothes."

Piper laughed. "Good luck with the washing, Miss Claudette."

Miss Claudette smiled. "Tell Sophia I said hi, won't you?"

"I will."

* * *

Piper sighed as she pushed open the salon door. It was on the entirely wrong side of town for her liking, some guy had catcalled her from a van, and as she peered through the glass, she was pretty sure she could see an argument ensuing. Unease spread from her mind to her body as her hand hovered on the door, and she debated turning back round again.

The decision was taken out of her hands as the door was yanked open from the other side, and she was met by a tall woman who beamed down at her with a huge smile.

"Come in, come in!" she said, sweeping to the side to let Piper past. She reached out and coiled some of Piper's hair around her finger. "It's not often girls like you come in," she remarked.

Piper offered a weak smile. "Miss Claudette said hi," came her response, as she was seated on a creaking salon chair. She shifted to get comfortable.

"Oh," she said, waving a comb behind her head. Piper watched her in the mirror. "You're _Piper._ So, what are you thinking of? A drastic change?" she asked hopefully. "Maybe a pixie? You have great bone structure."

"Mm," she said, running her fingers through her still damp hair. She glanced up to meet Sophia's eye in the mirror, avoiding her own reflection. "I just want a blow dry to be honest with you."

"Aw. You're no fun," she lamented. But as she plugged in her hairdryer, she raised her eyebrows. "Have you at least got some gossip to share? I hear all the juicy stuff in here."

"No," Piper glowered. She ripped off a hangnail before continuing, "I'm always the last to know everything anyways. It would be last year's gossip."

"I'm sensing a sore spot," Sophia said, flipping her own perfect hair behind her shoulders. One hand on her hip, she pursed her lips. "Am I right?"

Piper slumped in her chair. She was missing her regular stylist already; he asked her where she was vacationing this year, not why she was pissed off. She shrugged. "Maybe."

"A boyfriend?" Sophia asked, raising her eyebrows. She ran a brush through Piper's hair absently, forgetting to actually start the hairdryer.

"Something like that." Piper shrugged. Then, feeling bold, she sat up. These women would never see her again after today, and Miss Claudette hated gossip. Whatever she vented about here would live and die inside these walls. "Their ex, actually...she's just coming back to town, and I heard Sylvie can be a real…" she paused, trying to find a diplomatic way of putting it. She tipped her head. "Interesting person to be around."

A woman with brown hair cropped to her tattooed neck suddenly turned around in her chair, slamming the outdated fashion magazine on her lap closed. Spanish swear words littered the air as she did so.

"Sylvie Wilkerson?" she repeated, her voice peppered by a light accent.

Piper stared at her, then nodded uncertainly. She turned round in her own chair to face the mystery woman, who looked more than angry as her eyes bulged.

"That crazy bitch is out of juvie?" she demanded. "Fucking hell. I bet Lourdes knew about this. Six months is all she gets?"

Piper nodded again, sizing the woman up. Her nostrils were flared in anger and the magazine was now curled into a baton in her clenched fist, but she had smiled at her when she'd walked in.

"You know her?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant. She peeked another look at the woman, whose jaw worked hard as she ground her teeth.

"You could say so," she said tightly. "I'm Gloria. You should know, they put my face in every fucking paper. We didn't get to talking or nothing. Didn't really get the chance when she put the gun to my fucking head as she held up my bodega."

Piper spluttered, sending a silent thank you that she _hadn't_ been offered a tea and a cookie, because she would have choked on them.

"She held a _gun_ to your head?" Piper echoed. The thought was unfathomable to her; she wouldn't even know where to get a gun, let alone to have the guts to use it.

"Scared my kids to fucking death," she seethed. "They've been having nightmares for months since then. And she's out? Ha! I got a longer sentence than that with them hangin' off my legs. I can't even have a smoke without one of 'em."

"She said she wasn't dangerous…" Piper murmured.

"Dangerous?" Gloria repeated, taking a drag from her cigarette. Her cheeks looked hollow as she sucked in, clearly needing the release. She let out a breath with a cloud of smoke. "Let me tell you what happened from the start…"

* * *

Later that evening, Piper bounded down the stairs, half expecting it to be the pizza she ordered ten minutes ago. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with a greasy meal, and try to forget everything she'd heard earlier that afternoon in the salon. She smiled to herself as she grabbed the handle.

When she opened the door to Alex, the smile slipped. "Oh," Piper said, letting her arms drop by her side. "It's you."

Alex's brow furrowed, and the smile fell from her features too. "You could sound less excited to see me, Pipes...dial down the happiness."

"Sorry," she said, not particularly sounding it, "I was expecting a pizza."

Alex brightened. "Enough for two?"

Piper nodded. "Sure," she said. She stepped aside to let Alex in, and the brunette closed the door behind her.

"Last night was fun," she said, spinning around to face Piper. She was grinning again, excited to let Piper into a little more of her world.

Piper nodded again, leaning against the stairs. She didn't mean to, but the betrayal was rising in her chest. If Alex couldn't trust her with this, then what was the point? "Mhm," she said finally.

"Is something wrong?" Alex asked, after Piper said nothing else. She reached out, rubbing her hand down Piper's arm. The blonde softened into her touch, though she looked reluctant, and pressed her lips together. "I thought it went well."

Piper answered with a shrug, but laced her fingers with Alex's. She played with her fingers and shrugged again, murmuring a little.

"Lorna likes you," Alex tried. "She thinks you're sweet. Maybe it'll rub off on Nicky," she laughed. She omitted that Nicky and Lorna were going through somewhat of a rough patch. Nicky would have killed her for saying anything, and Piper wouldn't have been able to resist trying to make things better. Her intentions were always good but it rarely worked in her favor. It definitely wouldn't with Nicky.

Piper let herself smile. Lorna was nice, and anyone who could silence Nicky with a single look was basically superhuman in her books. "I like Lorna too," she said. She rubbed at her eyes. "I don't like her makeup, though."

"No," Alex agreed. "I've seen her use a Sharpie as eyeliner, though. She's tough." Alex laughed, but it tailed away when Piper still looked distant. Alex bit her lip. "Are you _sure_ everything's okay?"

"Actually, no," Piper said. She chewed her lip for a moment before plopping down onto the bottom stair. She patted the space next to her, and when Alex craned her neck to look down the hallway, she did it again. "No-one's home," she said. "Everyone went out for dinner. Mom wanted me to come too, but I told Dad I was feeling sick."

Alex sat down next to her, gingerly holding her hand. "And are you?" she asked, scrunching her nose up to push her glasses further up.

"A bit," she admitted. She rested her chin on her knees, pulling them up to her stomach. "It's Sylvie," she said, and then she sighed at Alex's expression. "I know, I know. It's just...you know all about Larry," she explained. "I don't know anything and you won't tell me anything."

"Well, we weren't good for each other," Alex said guardedly. She wrapped her arms around herself, engulfing herself in a hug. She stared at her feet on the step. "I didn't want to tell you about all of our fights and make you think that was me." A blush swept her cheeks. "There were a lot of fights," she murmured. "But that's all. She's just bitter that I left her, you know?"

Alex looked to the ceiling, hoping Piper's curiosity was satisfied. She took her backpack off, finished with the conversation about Sylvie and feeling relieved about it, and showed the contents to Piper. "Now, can I tell you what I came over for?" she asked, her voice rising hopefully. "I know you wanted to be more involved with the business, and I want you to be as well."

Piper sucked a breath in. It was what she had wanted for what felt like the longest time, yet had only really been a few weeks - for Alex to trust her. Yet trust only seemed to be on Alex's terms, and Piper couldn't help but feel the sting. Piper focused on a small pock on the wall. Cal had probably hit it with a ball at some point, before Miss Claudette or her mom had chased him out.

Alex reached out for Piper's hand, but she pushed it away. She wouldn't even look at her. What Alex couldn't see was the tears brimming in Piper's blue eyes as she turned away.

Alex heaved a sigh, her anger rising. The heat rose in her cheeks as she glared. "I told you what you wanted to know, Piper, what more do you want?"

"You forgot to mention she almost shot you!"

Piper span round, the curls she had just paid a lot of money for losing their volume already. She raised her eyebrows as she came face to face with Alex, her hands placed on her hips.

Alex pressed her lips together, rocking on her heels. She blinked at Piper, wondering how she had worked it out. As a minor, her name had been blocked out of any reports of the case. Everyone who knew the ins and outs had been warned not to tell Piper, and Alex was wondering who had squealed.

She huffed, pissed off that she even had to deal with this. When it doubt, she had a tendency to double down. "Well," she said, flipping her hair indignantly. "You never asked."

 _ **A/N:**_

 _ **Hey guys!  
Inspired a little by the trailer, I wanted to finish this chapter...what did you guys think?  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's a little longer than usual...let me know if you prefer this length or the shorter ones. Please let me know what you thought of the chapter - not many of you did last chapter and I'm hoping that was because you were busy rather than you not liking it. Lol. Thanks to those who did, though! It's much appreciated.  
Anyways, hope you're all good.**_

 _ **\- Star xo**_


	11. Chapter 11

"I never _asked?"_ Piper echoed incredulously. She took a sharp step back, folding her arms. "I also never asked if you had herpes, but I assume we're all clear on that front?"

Alex rolled her eyes at the accusation, but her fist balled up by her sides. "Pipes, don't be so ridiculous!"

" _I'm_ the ridiculous one?" Piper asked. Alex eyed the vein that bulged on her neck as her voice rose. "Somebody almost _shot_ you! And _I'm_ the ridiculous one for being worried about her being free?!"

"Piper," Alex tried, short and bitten nails coming up to rake through her hair, "I didn't want you worry you." It seemed she had inadvertently accomplished her own goal, because Piper didn't look worried in the slightest. She looked pissed.

Piper opened her mouth, but the doorbell cut her off, signalling the arrival of the pizza she had been so looking forward to only a few moments ago.

Yet unsurprisingly her appetite had subsided since ten minutes ago, and she sighed as she yanked the door open. Alex watched as her whole demeanor changed. She was instantly charming, a smile as slick as oil, passing the delivery boy two twenties and telling him to keep the change. Her hand lingered on his arm a little longer than necessary, and Alex pressed her lips together as she finally noticed Piper's unusually bouncy hair.

When Piper finally let go of his arm and turned to Alex again, he was leaving in a rush of blushes and grateful mutterings about a great tip. Neither Alex or Piper seemed to notice him as they stared each other down.

"You had your hair done," Alex said, after a moment of silence. Her arms were crossed over her chest. "It looks nice."

Piper smirked. "You noticed."

Alex rolled her eyes, realizing she had given Piper the exact reaction she had been baiting her for. She tossed her own hair haughtily. "You spent so long talking to Little Caesar over there, I had a good look at the back of your head."

Piper snorted a laugh, unable to help herself despite still feeling prickles of annoyance. She crossed her ankles, leaning against the bannister. "He's in Cal's grade at school," she said, clutching the pizza box to her chest. "And this is Domino's Pizza."

Alex nodded. She rocked on her heels, not wanting to leave, but not wanting to outstay her welcome either. As much as she hated to admit it, she knew she was in the wrong here. Her reluctance to storm out hadn't gone unnoticed by Piper, and she decided to put her out of her misery.

"Do you still wanna stay for the pizza?" Piper said. "There's way too much for me, and my parents are out all night...they took my brothers to dinner and a movie."

"You didn't wanna go?"

Piper shook her head. "I had other things on my mind."

"I still wanna stay," Alex said, extending an olive branch. She smiled a little coyly, and then said, "only if there's no pineapple, though."

"Pineapple on pizza?" Piper wrinkled her nose. "Who do you think I am?"

* * *

A pastry in one hand and a broom in the other, Nicky looked over to Red for a response. "Can you believe that?"

Red cast her eyes heavenward, wishing that Nicky would talk about _anything_ else but Lorna. Then she checked herself - it had only been a few weeks since she'd been begging Nicky to think about anything other than drugs, after all. Another obsession hadn't quite what she'd meant, but Lorna was healthier than heroin...even if it was annoying to listen to.

"Mm," Red said, running her finger down the shopping list for that evening. She had really only been half-listening to Nicky, and she knew it.

Nicky stuffed the rest of the pastry into her mouth. "You sound like Marka," Nicky said indistinctly, her words muffled by the mouthful.

Red set the list down. "I know it's tough, Nicky, but you can't be mad when your friends find someone. Jealousy is only natural, but-"

"Friends?" Nicky scoffed, sweeping the floor a little too aggressively. "Would a friend really bite - "

"I don't need to know," Red said, swiftly cutting her off with a raised hand. She took the broom from Nicky, clicking in annoyance as she collected the dirt Nicky had missed on the floor. "Honey, I know you're struggling, but you're getting fixated."

Nicky looked at Red, her lips pursing. Obsession was always Nicky's problem. She never just liked something; she loved things with every fiber of her being, and her addiction didn't stop with chemicals. She got addicted to every single thing she had the tiniest interest in.

"I don't say that when you're rambling about a new recipe," Nicky said reproachfully. She tilted her head.

"No," Red agreed readily. She leaned against her broom. "You're too busy stuffing your face." Red didn't wait for a reply, and instead nodded her head in the direction of the counter. "There's a customer. Serve her, please, and then we'll close up. I've been trying out a new recipe." Her eyes twinkled. "Why don't you stay awhile and try it?"

Nicky nodded a little too eagerly, and as she turned, Red smiled sadly. Her love for Nicky was as constant and strong as it was for her boys, and the girl had turned into her permanent little shadow before she had known it, but she never wanted to leave. Red didn't mind; in fact, she loved having the company of a daughter, having never known it before, but she wished Nicky had a better home life.

Red wiped a cloth over a table as Nicky served the customer. She watched proudly as Nicky trailed behind the counter, offering a smile to the girl at the counter. But Red's own smile slipped as Nicky, upon seeing who she was serving, took a step back.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Nicky asked, her face set in a thunderous glare. "I'm surprised you had the nerve to show your face around here."

The brunette tugged at the strap on her bag. "How was I supposed to know you would be here?" she snapped back. "Why are you even working a shitty Saturday job? Your mom is loaded."

"Don't play dumb," Nicky said, ignoring the slight. "You're a lot of things - but dumb isn't one of them."

"I got caught, didn't I?" Sylvie crossed her arms over herself. In her attempt to look inconspicuous, she was drawing more attention to herself.

"Caught?" Nicky scoffed. "You didn't exactly plan a covert operation. You did it in fucking broad daylight. You were hardly oblivious, you just didn't care."

Sylvie clicked her tongue; she couldn't and wasn't going to disagree. Instead, she chose a different tack. "Speaking of oblivious...how is Lorna?"

Eyes narrowed, Nicky slammed her hand down on the countertop and ignored the flash of pain it caused. She had tunnel vision now. "Leave Lorna _out_ of this."

She looked down at the floor so that all Nicky saw was the top of the baseball cap she had rammed on her head and a messy ponytail sticking up out of the back.

"You gonna make me?" She grinned up at Nicky, her eyes manic.

"Stay away from Alex too," Nicky said in return. Her fists balled up by her sides. "She doesn't want to see you. _None_ of us do."

Sylvie opened her mouth to reply, but shut her mouth when she noticed an interloper to the conversation. A flash of red hair was all Nicky needed to switch to cashier mode and nothing else.

Through gritted teeth she hissed, "Can I take your order?"

Red offered a tight smile to the girl, her hand brushing over Nicky's arm as her brow wrinkled questioningly. Nicky shrugged in return, offering nothing but a forced smile that looked much more like a grimace.

Sylvie looked from Nicky to Red, her eyebrows raising. The cogs were turning in her mind. "Uh...yeah," she said finally, her lips twisting into a crooked smile. She reeled off an order and Nicky bagged it up, dropping it in front of her.

"Is that everything?" Nicky asked, acutely aware of the fact that Red was still hovering behind her. She could almost see the half concerned, half curious look on her face despite the fact that she couldn't actually see her face.

"Everything okay?" Red asked, her tone deliberately light. She sized up the customer, wondering what had been said before she walked over. Her hand rested on the counter beside Nicky.

Nicky glared at Sylvie, knowing that Red couldn't see her face. "Everything's fine," she sang, pulling at her hair.

"Mhm," Sylvie said, a smile creeping over her face like ivy on an abandoned building. "Nicky was just telling me the specials."

"We don't have any specials," Red said, raising her eyebrows. "You two know each other?"

"No," Nicky said without drawing breath. She didn't want Red knowing anything at all about what she used to get up to, or who with; she already knew enough, and that wasn't the _really_ ugly stuff. She shook her head.

It was clear Red didn't believe her, but she nodded nonetheless. "Okay," she said simply, tugging at the receipt that printed from the register. She handed it to Sylvie with an air of wariness. "Have a nice day, then."

As Sylvie turned and left reluctantly, Red turned to Nicky. Her hands fell to her hips. "Are you going to tell me what that was all about?"

"What?" Nicky asked indignantly. She placed her hands on her own hips, mirroring Red. "I told you. She was just a customer."

"If you're sure," Red said skeptically.

Nicky hesitated for just a second before nodding again. "I'm sure." She ran her fingers over her phone in her pocket, thinking about Alex. "Hey Red?"

"Mm?" Red said. The hopeful way her eyebrows rose made Nicky feel guilty, but she pushed down the feeling.

"Can I take my break now?"

Red nodded. The disappointment was cleverly hidden behind a neutral mask, but Nicky still sensed it. "Of course, honey. Take as long as you need."

* * *

As the credits rolled on the movie Piper had put on to keep them company in the background, Alex eyed the last slice of pizza in the box.

"Go on," Piper said, brushing crumbs from her lap. She pushed the box towards Alex. "You can have it."

"Thanks," she said, picking it up with already greasy fingers. There had been a time, before she'd started her business, when she didn't always know when her next meal would be. That, coupled with growing like a sunflower, had left her with plenty of room to fill out and she never missed an opportunity to eat.

"I don't know where you put it all," Piper complained as Alex took another bite. "I look at a pizza and gain five pounds."

Alex licked tomato sauce from her fingers. "You drive everywhere, you eat a feast every night, and you think shopping is exercise."

Piper snorted a laugh. "I haven't heard you complaining."

"I'm not," Alex insisted. She wiped her hands on her jeans. "Sometimes I look at you and wonder what you see in _me."_

Piper stopped short, all hints of laughter gone. She looked at Alex, really looked at her, until the brunette squirmed under her gaze.

"Don't say that. You're beautiful, Alex." She leaned over, until their noses almost touched, and brushed a crumb from her cheek. She let out a giggle. "When you're not covered in pizza, anyways."

"Mm," Alex said, shaking her head. It was plain to see on her face that she disagreed. She wrinkled her nose, propping her glasses up on her head. Taunts from middle school still rang in her head. She brushed off the compliment. "You would say that," she smirked. "You're just trying to get in my pants."

Piper laughed again. "Is it working?"

"You tell me," Alex said, connecting their lips. It was strange not tasting her usual strawberry lip gloss, but this time was different altogether. Piper deepened the kiss, her fingers tangling in Alex's hair.

Piper broke away, a wicked grin stretching over her cheeks. "I think it's working," she said, a little breathless.

Alex's eyelashes fluttered open. "Then don't stop."

Piper's hand trailed down Alex's back, her fingers tracing patterns on the soft skin. Alex wrapped her hand round the nape of Piper's neck. Her fingers raked through the freshly styled blonde hair and when she remembered, she stopped, her hand dropping to Piper's side.

"No," Piper murmured through the kiss, dragging Alex's hand back to her hair. "Keep doing that."

"But your hair," Alex said, pressing her forehead to Piper's. Alex's own hair was scraped back against her head haphazardly, but Alex knew Piper cared more than she did.

Yet she shrugged. "Don't worry about it," she said, a twinkle in her eye. "I'm not."

Alex took her advice to heart as she tangled her fingers in the mess of blonde hair. She leaned into the kiss and Piper leaned back so that her back touched the floor, Alex hanging over her. Brunette hair tickled her face.

Piper's hand tugged at Alex's shirt until the sleeve slipped down her arm, exposing bare skin littered with goosebumps. She ran her fingers down the skin, softly giggling as Alex's hairs stood on end.

Alex's own hands roamed Piper's body, settling on the bottom of her shirt, which she tugged off effortlessly. It landed in a heap on the other side of the room. Alex caressed her now exposed hip, but Piper froze.

"What?" Alex asked, her brow creasing. "Is something wrong?"

"Shit," Piper said, scrambling to her feet. She wiped her mouth off, trying to clear her skin of lipstick smudges. "There was a key in the lock," she explained, pushing her hair back against her head. "I thought they'd be gone for hours."

"Can't we just hide out in here?" Alex said, sitting up. She fixed her glasses on her nose and looked to Piper questioningly.

"No," Piper said. "She'll come in and check on me." Her cheeks tinged pink. "And she always comes in to kiss me goodnight before she goes to bed."

Alex smiled, looking down. "That's sweet."

Piper sighed. "I could think of other words right now."

Piper dragged Alex out of her bedroom as she fixed her shirt and as Piper pulled her own over her head. As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Piper stopped, her heart thudding underneath her shirt. If she hadn't heard them come in...she let out a breath. It didn't bear thinking about - all hell would have broken loose.

Her mom started as she caught sight of Piper on the stairs.

"Piper," Mrs Chapman said in surprise. She looked her daughter up and down, confusion written all over her face. Her gaze fell to Alex, and the little V in her forehead deepened. "I thought you weren't feeling very well."

"I'm feeling...better," she said, choosing her words carefully. She swatted at Alex as she smirked. "I invited Alex over for a pizza and a movie."

It wasn't a total lie. Yet she still couldn't quite meet her father's eye as she said it.

Mrs Chapman nodded. "Have you been driving with your roof down?" she asked, gesturing to her own perfectly coiffed hair. She raised her eyebrows. "And your father said you'd never get any use out of that thing."

Piper desperately patted her hair down. "Yep," she said quickly, nodding a little too quickly. "I picked Alex up. She wanted to try the roof."

Alex raised one of her own eyebrows but said nothing.

"Well, you certainly sound brighter," Mr Chapman laughed. "Despite the forty dollars you just wasted on your hair."

Alex couldn't hide her shock at the amount of money she'd spent, just to let her mess it up. A rose blush swept across her cheeks as she thought about the moment again.

"I know," Mr Chapman said, rolling his eyes. "But it makes her so happy. Who could say no to that?"

Alex shrugged. "I guess," she said, wondering if he'd have the same attitude to _her_ making Piper happy. She doubted it. She swallowed hard at the thought. "Anyway," she said, her voice breaking a little, "I should get going. My mom will be worried."

"I'll drive you," Piper said instantly. She smiled at her parents. "Don't wait up."

Mr Chapman raised an eyebrow. "I won't wait up," he said. "Because you'll be back before nine, won't you, darling?"

Piper rocked on her heels, holding back a sigh. When she realized her dad wasn't in a relenting mood, she nodded. "Fine."

"Go on then," he said, waving her off. "Have a good night, Alex. Glad you could keep Piper company."

Alex smiled. "Yeah," she said, watching as Piper grabbed her keys from the hook by the door and swing them around her fingers. "Me too."

As Piper started the engine, Alex turned to her. Her voice was quiet but clear when she finally spoke. "I'm sorry I lied to you before."

Piper looked to her. "I know."

Alex played with her seat belt. "I didn't _want_ to."

"I know that too."

A smile played on Alex's lips. "You didn't tell me you had a convertible."

"Well," Piper said, pushing a button that caused it to open up and let the moonlight swathe them. "You never asked."

After a rather breezy car ride, Piper pulled up outside of Alex's house. She looked at herself in the rear view. The sunglasses and headscarf she usually wore when the sunroof was down would have looked ridiculous in the dark, but she was regretting it now. She wrinkled her nose at her reflection. "I look like I've been hit by a truck."

"That's okay," Alex laughed. "I do too...do you wanna come inside?"

Piper nodded, opening up her door. "Just for a little bit."

As they made their way inside, Alex's phone began to ring. She had ignored it enough times this evening, and sighed as she pulled it from the pocket of her knock off Levi's. Before she even had the chance to say hello, she was met by Nicky's voice coming out like a burst water pipe. There was no stopping her.

"Nicky?" Alex said once Nicky finished talking. She opened up her bedroom door in a panic, her vision ebbing away at the edges as her heart pounded. "You saw her today?"

Piper sat down on Alex's bed, looking at her questioningly. She patted the spot next to her silently as Alex listened.

Alex sat down quietly, chewing her thumbnail as Nicky recounted her encounter with Sylvie earlier that day, but only after complaining that Alex hadn't been picking up her phone. Alex looked to Piper.

"I'm sorry, I've been busy," she said, worry causing lines on her forehead. "Yes," she replied as Nicky told her to be careful. "I will, I promise. You be careful too."

Alex pressed her lips together as she hung up the phone.

"Is everything okay?" Piper asked needlessly, because Alex was pawing at her eyes. "Oh. Sweetie, what happened?"

"Sylvie," Alex said, taking a deep breath. She drew her knees up to her chest. "Nicky saw her today...and she's crazy as ever it seems." Her voice was so dejected that Piper couldn't help but squeeze her fingers in an attempt at comfort.

Piper couldn't stop the worry that crept onto her features. She chewed her lip. "Are you safe?"

"I don't know," Alex replied honestly. "I thought she'd stay away. She is _supposed_ to stay away. From all of us. It's in her conditions…"

"Call the police, then," Piper urged. "Don't let her win."

Alex shook her head. "No," she said softly. As much as she didn't want to see Sylvie, she didn't want to be the one to land her in jail again either. It just didn't feel right. After all, Sylvie hadn't hurt her...not really. Alex bit her own lip.

"At least tell someone. Tell your mom," Piper said. Her forehead creased. "She can keep you safe."

Alex snorted. "She can barely get herself up in the morning, but yeah. She could keep me safe." Her voice was dull and flat and she leaned against Piper miserably.

It was then that Piper decided to ask the question that had been playing on her mind since she'd met Diane. "Is your mom...okay?"

"Not really," Alex said. She picked up a photograph that sat on her windowsill beside her bed and smiled sadly at it. Her and her mom smiled up at her, in better times. It was a sad reminder.

Piper waited for her to continue, but she didn't, and it didn't look like she wanted to be pushed either. "Well...would she see a doctor?"

"No," Alex said, worry creeping into her tone. "She wouldn't go. She doesn't have the money. And nor do I."

It was something Alex often felt guilty about. When her mom needed something, she bought it - tampons, food, clothing, it all came from Alex's side hustle. Her mom tried, but bounced from one dud job to the next. Yet when it came to something so important, her mom's health, she was powerless. Yes, she had savings - but they wouldn't even make a dent in what would be needed. And if she was brutally honest, she didn't want to waste her precious cushion on something that hadn't worked in the past, when her mom was steady and they had job benefits that afforded them healthcare.

"You don't have health insurance?" Piper's brow furrowed. She couldn't imagine not having that safety net. "Does your mom's job not provide any for you?"

Alex shook her head. "Anyway," she said softly, running her finger along Diane's face in the photo, "I don't think my mom would go anyways. Lee would only use it against her."

"There are free clinics," Piper persisted. "I volunteered for one of them for a girl scout badge. They won't judge her." She paused. "And who cares if Lee uses it against her? Who would care what he thought?"

Alex offered up a wry smile. "Those are the people who judge you the most, you know - the ones who parrot ' _this is a judgement free zone!'_ " She let out a deep sigh. "And the court would care, when they take me away from her."

"You're fifteen," Piper said, wrinkling her nose. "You could vote with your feet."

"I know," Alex said. "But she's the one who makes all the decisions about me right now. And that means _I'm_ the one making the decisions about me. I don't want that to change."

It wasn't as simple as Piper thought, and if she thought Alex hadn't spent sleepless nights thinking it through then she was wrong. But, Alex reminded herself, she was only trying to help in a helpless situation.

Piper shrugged, pulling at a loose thread on her socks. "I just...I can't imagine not being able to go to the hospital if I needed to. It's not right, Alex. It's not fair."

"I know," Alex said, leaning back. She placed the photo frame back down onto the window sill, meticulously making sure it was straight, and turned back to Piper. "Life isn't fair."

Piper drew her knees up to her chest. "I don't know how you're so calm about that," Piper muttered. "What if you get sick? What if Sylvie comes back and hurts you?" This time, Piper spoke Sylvie's name not with anger, but with anxiety seeping out of her voice.

Alex shook her head. If she thought that was a possibility, she would have called the police like Pipe suggested. "That won't happen."

"But you've got no-one to protect you," Piper said, her voice rising. She shuffled over towards Alex, resting her head on Alex's shoulder and looping her fingers through Alex's. "I know I pushed you about Sylvie. And maybe I shouldn't have yelled at you," she admitted. She looked up at Alex. "But I'm really fucking worried about you, you know."

Alex shifted, letting Piper's head fall to her lap. She stared down at Piper, and then a flicker of a smile crossed her lips.

"Don't worry," she said, tangling her fingers in Piper's hair. Piper didn't protest, despite having just paid for the blow out. She relaxed into Alex's touch. "I don't need someone to keep me safe. I can protect myself."

"Really?" Piper looked doubtful. "How?"

"I'll show you."

Alex quietly closed the door to her bedroom. She could feel Piper's eyes burning in the back of her neck as she opened up her wardrobe door. It was meticulously organized, right down to the little row of shoes on the base.

Piper raised an eyebrow. She was more of a floordrobe fan, and her clothes, designer or otherwise, were often found strewn around her room on whatever surface she'd tossed them onto. Yet she wasn't surprised by Alex's neatness; it seeped into other parts of her. Her business, her school work, even the way she talked sometimes. Her words didn't spill out like Piper's did, free and rambling and whatever came to mind. It always felt like she was holding back. Like with every sentence, she left something unsaid. It was annoying, yet made Piper hang onto every last word.

Alex pulled out a battered shoe box at the bottom, under a pile of sweaters, and sat down cross legged on the floor next to Piper. Balancing the box on her knees, she pulled off the lid, setting it down next to her. She looked up at Piper.

"You're gonna stomp on her with some old boots?" Piper looked at her dubiously, tapping the box with her foot.

Alex snatched it away. "Careful!" she hissed. Unfurling the top of the boots, the long leather knee-highs, she reached down into the toe. "It's not the boots...it's what's inside."

Piper stared as Alex pulled her hand out with a flourish. "No," she said instantly. Her eyes went from her hand to her eyes. "No, Alex, you can't seriously think _that_ is the answer."

Alex pressed her lips together. "It's the only way."

"Someone almost shot you…" Piper said slowly, deliberately dragging out the words. "And you think the answer is...a _gun_?"

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_

 _ **Hello lovelies.  
Someone said that they liked the longer chapter length so this one is in line with that.  
I hope you all enjoyed this one, and thanks for the reviews on the last one!  
Please let me know what you thought in a review. I appreciate every single one. **_

_**Hope you're all good.**_

\- **_Star xo_**


	12. Chapter 12

Piper stared straight ahead as her teacher droned on in the background. Her eyes flitted to the clock; only twenty minutes of hell left, and she was free. Yet time was passing as slowly as molasses, and every time she glanced up, only a few minutes had passed. She craned her neck to look back at the empty seat in the last row of the classroom. A wave of disappointment washed over her as she realized it, unsurprisingly, still hadn't been filled.

Alex hadn't been in school since they'd had their fight. Turning around, Piper pressed her eyes closed and tried to drown out the thought. It crept in anyway, and she hated the words echoing in her head. It hadn't been pretty - but she still thought she was right.

" _Pipes, it's not that big of a deal," Alex said._

 _She slipped the gun back into the boot and gently placed it back into the shoe box. As Piper stared at her, slack-jawed, she shrugged nonchalantly._

" _I don't know what to tell you," she continued. "I know you don't understand, but you're on a different planet to me when it comes to stuff like this." She looked up at Piper, and upon seeing the look of sheer panic on her face made her regret ever getting it out to begin with. "I shouldn't have showed you."_

" _No," Piper said, her jaw working. "I don't think you should have."_

" _Just forget it," Alex said. She shrugged again, letting her hair fall in her face. Piper watched, her lips pressing together, and for the first time she noticed how tired Alex looked. Her sparkly eyes were underlined with dark circles and her hair, usually perfect even when she'd just rolled out of bed, looked dull and lank. Piper reached out to softly brush Alex's cheek._

" _You don't have to live like this," Piper said gently. "We could-"_

" _My life is not a project for you!" Alex's face darkened into a glare. "Just leave it alone, okay?"_

It wasn't just the argument that worried Piper. She hadn't heard from Alex in days. Despite their argument having happened on the weekend, she hadn't seen Alex at _all_ this week, and it was Wednesday now. It wasn't as if skipping school was the crime of the century, but Alex _never_ skipped. God knows Piper had tried to convince her on enough occasions. She always got the same stock answer: " _Piper, you know I can't afford to lose my scholarship."_

It was odd to say the least, and somewhere deep inside, Piper worried that _something_ wasn't right. Though her pride was hurt, this was something more. No argument with Larry had ever ended like this. Come to think of it, no argument with Larry had ever really amounted to anything at all. If she was honest, she was beginning to wonder if this relationship was worth the hassle. She could end it all and go back to normal...and she could tell herself that all day, but she knew it wasn't true.

" _Why can't you accept my help?" Piper asked, her voice soft but with a definite edge. She hugged her knees to her chest, letting out a sigh that said so much. A moment of silence had passed, and whilst the gun was put away, it was still the thing at the forefront of Piper's mind._

" _Because I don't_ need _it," Alex complained. She looked away, out of the window, and sighed. She took Piper's hand. It was a matter of pride. Whilst she knew Piper's intentions were kind, she couldn't help but prickle at the suggestion that she couldn't take care of herself. "Can't we just hang out?" Alex asked finally. "I just want to spend time with you...to be together, without everything else getting in the way. I just wanna be normal. You and me. That's it. Don't you want that too?"_

 _She leaned in, touching her lips to Piper's. Closing her eyes, she deepened the kiss. Her hand rested on Piper's chest and she pressed her forehead to hers. Hot breath tickled Piper's ear as Alex leaned in. "Don't you want this?"_

 _It seemed to be their way. Arguing turned into making out. It was like the tension in the room turned to passion, and things melted away with each kiss. It was nice, but also frustrating. But Piper had to admit she wouldn't change it._

" _I do," Piper admitted. She pressed her lips to Alex's hesitantly. With Alex, everything felt new. She had only ever kissed two other people, and a peck in sixth grade didn't really count. Larry had been an okay kisser, she had to admit, but this was something different. Alex leaned in further, pushing Piper down. The blonde didn't resist, and tangled her hands in Alex's hair._

 _Alex trailed kisses down Piper's collarbone. Piper closed her eyes and shivered as her breath tickled her goosebump littered skin. Safe to say, Larry had never done that. She felt a thrill of excitement as Alex's hands slipped under her shirt._

" _You okay?" Alex said softly. She rested her head against Piper's shoulder._

 _Piper nodded, threading her fingers with Alex's. Alex's hands roamed her body freely. They settled on the small of her back. Piper tentatively put her hand underneath Alex's shirt too, her fingers a lot more hesitant but still with a touch that made Alex shiver._

 _Piper pulled Alex close, burying her nose into her hair. Alex laughed at the peculiar act until she felt Piper's body shaking._

" _What?" Alex asked, pulling away. Her forehead creased as she saw a tear rolling down Piper's cheek. She tried to brush it away before she saw, but it was too late. She cupped Piper's cheeks. "What's wrong, Pipes?"_

 _Piper shook her head, reluctant to say anything._

" _Just tell me," Alex said gently. Anxiety was bubbling; she'd seen Piper mad, but not this upset. "Nothing bad will happen here, okay?"_

" _Please don't get mad if I say it," Piper whispered._

 _Alex nodded curtly. "I won't."_

" _Do you promise?"_

" _Just say it," Alex said, pushing hair out of Piper's eyes._

" _I've never liked anyone as much as I like you," she admitted. The word 'love' hung in the air, but Piper left it unsaid, and for that, Alex was grateful._

" _So?" Alex laughed. "That's a good thing. I like you a lot too, which is handy."_

" _But I'm just so worried about you," Piper admitted. She sat up, nodding toward the wardrobe. "I can't get that gun out of my head. Please don't use it. Please keep yourself safe," she stammered. "Please...just get rid of the fucking thing, it's not_ worth _it."_

 _Alex sat up. "For Christ's sake, Piper, you're like a fucking dog with a bone. Drop. It. Already!"_

" _That's easy for you to say! What if the roles were reversed? What if you went to bed afraid I was going to die? Or get attacked by my crazy ex? Let's face it, Larry's not much of a threat, is he? I certainly wouldn't need a fucking gun stuffed in my wardrobe!"_

 _Alex opened her mouth to reply, but stopped dead in her tracks as the door flew open. Diane stood on the other side, her face set in a thunderous gaze. Piper scrambled to her feet and Alex gulped as she frowned at the both of them. Neither of them knew how much she had heard._

" _Alexandra Vause," Diane said, her voice rising hysterically. She jabbed a finger at Alex's chest, glaring at Piper before turning back to her daughter. "You tell me what's going on right this instant!"_

"Et tu, Piper?" Mrs Figueroa asked, tapping on Piper's desk. The sound of her voice made Piper jump.

"Uh," Piper said weakly, looking up. The light was harsh for eyes that had been open all night as she tossed and turned and she winced as it shone down. "Can you repeat the question?"

"En français, s'il vous plaît!" Mrs Figueroa barked.

Piper sighed. "Um…"

Mrs Figueroa rolled her eyes, but stood straight and addressed the rest of the class. "Anybody else?" she asked swiftly, shooting a glare to Piper that was a warning to listen. It fell on deaf ears, and Piper put her head down on her desk. Thoughts of Alex consumed her.

As the end of the class drew nearer, and students were on tenterhooks waiting for the bell to lunch, Mrs Figueroa quietly stood next to Piper's desk. "See me after class, okay?"

Piper suppressed a sigh but nodded. As the bell rang, she stayed put at her desk, twirling the pencil case that held the school supplies she hadn't touched in longer than she would care to admit.

"What's going on, Piper?" Mrs Figueroa asked as she sat at her desk. She crossed her legs, feet clad in heels dangling in front of Piper, and awaited an answer. "I know your grades haven't been the best lately, but you're a bright girl, and never quiet, at least."

Piper shrugged. "You know how it goes," she said limply. "High school sucks."

"Yeah, pretty much," Mrs Figueroa said, without a hint of sympathy in her voice. "But," she continued with false brightness, "it sucks for everyone, so you're on an even playing field."

"Mm," Piper said, letting out a long breath. "That doesn't make me feel much better."

"Do I look like a guidance counselor to you?" she asked Piper, raising her eyebrows. She flicked through papers, looking thoroughly bored with the conversation, and tapped the desk.

"Well, can you get it together?" Mrs Figueroa sighed. She leaned her chin on the back of her hand, hunching forward. She lowered her voice, a hint of a smile on her face. "Your parents are a pain in the ass and if your grades don't go up, I'll be hearing from them a lot more often. Neither of us want that, hm?"

A smile flickered across Piper's face. Mrs Figueroa might not be the teacher she'd go to if she was in trouble, but she admired her ability not to bullshit, and she always said it how it was.

"You could say that again," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'll try harder next class, Mrs Figueroa." She ducked her head as she stood, gathering her things to put away in her backpack. "Sorry about my parents. They're...well, you know."

"I know," Mrs Figueroa said, tipping her head at Piper. "They care. You're a lucky girl. Don't throw that away for whatever's causing…" she gestured to Piper, and the blonde realized her lack of effort with her appearance that morning hadn't gone unnoticed as she had hoped. "All this. No boy is worth it. I promise you that."

Piper let out a little laugh. "Yeah...I figured that one out."

Mrs Figueroa hid a little smile. "Get out of here, Piper."

Piper nodded quickly. "See you later, Mrs Figueroa."

Her teacher waved her off. "I really hope not!"

* * *

Piper stood at the edge of the cafeteria, looking around at the bustling scene in front of her. She scanned the crowd, and despite knowing already that she wasn't here, found herself disappointed when she didn't spot Alex. She pursed her lips, looking around, and sighed when her eyes settled on Polly.

The brunette beamed when she saw Piper lingering, a smile tugging the corners of her mouth upwards. She gestured for Piper to come and sit with her, but Piper shook her head.

It wasn't that she didn't miss Polly; far from it, actually. She missed her desperately. Every time she had a problem with Alex, or every time something amazing happened, she wanted to call her. But too much time had passed, and there was an awkward tension. Besides, Polly hadn't called either. Piper bristled when she saw Brook Soso sitting next to her at the table.

Maybe later, Piper mouthed, looking apologetic. Turning before she could say anything else, Piper headed for the courtyard. She needed to clear her head, and the fresh air would do her good, as her grandmother always said. But, as she breathed in deeply, filling her chest with air, she scrunched up her face. It wasn't fresh air at all, and she looked around for the source of the foul smell.

Smoke billowed up from edge of underneath the bleachers. Laughter rose up from within them, the high pitched giggle of a teenage girl and the gruff chuckle from the boy who was with her. Piper walked over to them, curiosity written all over her face.

"Hey! I thought you said you were gonna share, asshole," a familiar raspy voice said. The girl didn't sound mad, far from it.

"And I thought you said you were sober," the boy laughed. "That lasted about as long as the last time."

Piper wrinkled her nose as she rounded the corner, the smell permeating the air. She recognized that annoying voice anywhere, and it concerned her all the more. She tip-toed to the edge of the bleachers and peeked her head around.

"Is that you, Nicky?"

Nicky jumped at the sound of her name being said, and quickly threw whatever she was holding onto the floor. She tossed her hair, trying unsuccessfully to get the smell of weed out of it, and stammered, "What? I'm not doing anything!"

"Okay," Piper said as she tilted her head. She looked at the joint on the floor, eyes meeting Nicky's questioningly. "I didn't care if you were."

Upon seeing Piper's face, she relaxed considerably, leaning back. "Oh, it's just you, Blondie. Jesus, you scared me. Don't sneak up on a girl like that, eh?" She looked to the floor where the joint was, eyes filled with disappointment. She sighed wistfully, turning to the boy behind her. "This is why you always buy more than you think you'll need."

"I did," he said indignantly. He glared at her. "It's not my fault you didn't. Although I'm paying for it, you ruined my plan for the afternoon." He groaned. "I was really looking forward to getting high and sitting here till 3PM."

Piper raised her eyebrows at him as he turned to her. "Joel, right?" she asked uncertainly, shrugging her backpack further up her shoulders. "I've seen you around." She stuck her hand out. "I'm Piper."

"He knows who you are," Nicky said, ignoring Joel's complaints. She cocked an eyebrow at the hand hovering in the air.

Ignoring the handshake offer, he looked Piper up and down, not noticing how she squirmed under his intense glance. He smirked. "Wanna see some more of me?"

Nicky smacked the back of his head. "Knock it off, she's not interested."

Joel turned back to Nicky, rubbing his head. Despite that, he was grinning. "Why, you jealous, Nichols?"

Nicky rolled her eyes, a wicked smirk on her lips. "No, but she's batting for the other team."

"Well," Piper said, looking uncomfortable, "I wouldn't say that...it's a spectrum, you know, a scale."

"Oh, don't start that again," Nicky complained. "I'm not nearly high enough to deal with another lecture on the Kinsey scale."

Joel looked disappointed but unsurprised. "Is there something in the water in this town?" He hopped down from the bleachers, quickly over the let down of that revelation. His voice rose hopefully. "Got any hot friends?"

Piper rocked on her heels. "Not really."

"You don't think I'm hot, Piper?" Nicky asked. She pulled out a cigarette from her pocket, lighting it up. Breathing out a cloud of smoke, she shrugged. "I won't pretend I'm not hurt."

"I didn't think you were my friend," she replied honestly.

Nicky laughed, which turned swiftly into a coughing fit. Before she had recovered from it, Joel had swiped the cigarette from her fingers. "Hey!"

"What?" he asked, taking a long drag himself. "I shared. Where'd you even buy these? I get carded every time."

Nicky relented on the cigarette. It was a poor alternative anyway. "You don't have a fake ID?"

"They never believe me," he complained. "You don't look eighteen either."

"They'll let you if pay them double," Piper piped up.

Both Nicky and Joel turned to Piper, their faces both mirroring the disbelief they felt. As they stared, Piper shrugged, playing with the straps of her backpack.

"You've bought cigarettes?" Nicky asked, doubt steeped into her tone. She raised her eyebrows at Joel, as if to say get her. "Gotta hand it to ya, I never saw you as a smoker…"

"I'm not. Larry asked me to bring drinks round to his a couple of times." She shrugged again, just realizing that he'd let her take the fall if anything had gone wrong. The thought didn't sit well with her, but she pushed it down.

Nicky nodded, clearly more impressed with Piper than she had been before this conversation, and leaned back against the bleachers. Then, as if Piper wasn't even there, she turned to Joel. "So," she said, "about this friend you were telling me about.."

Before Joel had the chance to respond, Piper cleared her throat. "Nicky, I just need to ask you something-"

Nicky swiped the cigarette back from Joel, taking a quick drag before nodding. "Shoot," she said, looking at Piper.

"Have you heard from Alex?"

Nicky straightened at the mention of her best friend. "No," she said immediately. "Have you?"

"No," Piper said uneasily. She looked past Nicky at Joel, who was intently listening to the conversation. Upon seeing Piper's gaze fall back, Nicky turned.

"Hey, go find some chick to harass, will you?" she said offhandedly. She handed the cigarette back to him, and he took it without complaint.

"I'll see you around," he said, touching her arm gently.

Nicky nodded, looking completely uninterested now Piper was talking about Alex. She sat forward as he walked away, tilting her chin up at Piper.

"Is there something I should know about?" Nicky asked tightly.

Piper swallowed hard. "You should be nicer to Joel," she said, stalling. "I think he likes you."

"What the fuck does that have to do with anything? My relationship with him has nothing to do with you, now spit out whatever you had to tell me in the first place or get out of here."

Piper chewed the inside of her cheek. "We had this massive argument, about something I can't really tell you about, and her mom came in and she looked so mad...and now she hasn't been here for three days and I can't contact her, and she hasn't called or messaged me, and to be honest I'm getting really worried…" Piper let it out in one huge rush, and Nicky looked at her dubiously.

"She's probably fine," Nicky said, but Piper heard the doubt in her voice.

"I know about Sylvie," Piper continued. "Why hasn't she spoken to either of us? What if something bad has happened?"

Nicky pressed her lips together. Grabbing her bag, she tilted her head to tell Piper to follow her. "Well, let's go find her, if she doesn't wanna talk to us," Nicky said, walking with urgency to the parking lot where her car was currently sitting. As they were walking towards it, Nicky noticed a change in Piper. It was as if a switch had been flicked.

Nicky looked in the direction Piper had stopped to stare in. A brunette with multi-colored streaks in her hair was stood outside the school gates, with her back towards the two of them. Nicky wasn't even sure it was Alex. The hair was new. She was hunched over.

But Piper ran towards the figure regardless, and, not wanting to be left out, Nicky followed.

"Alex!" Piper called out as she neared the girl. She stopped just before she got to her, breathless, and leaned against the gate-post. "Oh, Alex, I'm so relieved. I've been so worried about you. Listen, I didn't mean anything I said, okay? I've been losing my mind about what could have happened to you, and why didn't you pick up your phone?" Piper waited for a response. When she didn't get one, not even a reaction, she lost her confidence a little. "Alex?" she asked, her voice small. "I like your hair, why the change?" she asked, reaching out to grab a piece of the blue or magenta hair that she'd had put in.

Alex turned. On her cheek there was an ugly shade of yellowing brown that shouldn't have been there, connected to a black eye. She crossed her arms, staring at the two girls, and defiantly waited for a response. Her lips were pressed into a thin line.

"Holy shit," Nicky said. She raised her eyebrows at Piper. "Must've been one hell of an argument."

Piper couldn't believe what she was seeing. She gingerly touched Alex's cheek, trying to decode what happened from any clues on her face. She couldn't even form a response for a few moments, stammering incoherently. She was so shocked she even ignored Nicky's smart-ass remark.

"What the hell happened to you?!"

* * *

 ** _A/N: Thanks for reading!_**

 ** _Thank you, vauseandspanishharlem, guest, whiteshadowchains and guest for the reviews. I appreciate them more than you could imagine._**

 ** _I am sorry for the delayed update but life gets in the way sometimes. Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter, and what you'd like to see in the future. Hope you're all well._**

 ** _\- Star xo_**


	13. Chapter 13

Alex tore her gaze from the floor where it had been glued, and looked at Piper reluctantly. She scuffed the toe of her shoe on the ground, grappling for the right words to say. So much time had passed and there was so much hanging in the air, best left unsaid. It seemed impossible to think of something that didn't sound totally idiotic.

"Can you fix this for me?" she finally said, gesturing to her black eye. She shrugged as if she was talking about the weather, and said, "I've tried to cover it with concealer and powder but it's not working…"

Piper's face lost its edge. She reached out for Alex's hand, entwining their fingers together, and nodded quickly. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the bruise despite Alex squirming under her gaze. Even Nicky - who seemed to take everything in her stride, no matter how unconventional or downright dangerous - looked like she was struggling.

"Of course I will," she said softly, her forehead creasing. "But...what happened?"

Alex ducked her head as kids streamed past, heading out to lunch. Piper let her hand drop, an act that didn't go unnoticed by Alex, who hugged her arms to her body. When they had disappeared from their line of vision, Alex looked up.

"Can we do it at your house?" Alex tucked a strand of hair behind her ear self-consciously. "My house is kinda out of action at the moment."

Piper fought the urge to ask another question. "Yes," she said, nodding quickly. She reached out and rubbed Alex's arm. Then she stopped to think, rather than blurting out what Alex wanted to hear. "I mean...my mom might be in, actually."

"Oh," Alex said tightly, looking away. She turned to Nicky reluctantly. "What about your place?"

Nicky raised her eyebrows. "Okay, what the fuck?" she asked, throwing her hands up. "So everyone's just gonna pretend this is _normal,_ are we?"

"Nicky," Alex said, drawing her name out into a sigh. Her tone was clear - _not now -_ but if Nicky caught wind of that, she didn't show it. "Please."

"No, Alex! You can't just rock up here looking like someone's used you as their personal punching bag and expect us not to ask questions. You know Blondie is only keeping a lid on it because she's scared you're gonna take off again."

"Actually, I'm not-" Piper began, but a sharp look from Nicky silenced her.

"I know you better than that," Nicky insisted, a frown painting wrinkles on her forehead. "You're not going anywhere fast. Look at you," Nicky said, and for the first time, Piper saw true concern in her. "You can barely fucking _stand."_

Alex stood a little straighter though her back screamed at her for it. "It's not that bad," she said through gritted teeth. "Nothing I can't handle."

"Mm," Nicky replied, sounding unimpressed. "Do you remember? I said the same thing about heroin."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Hardly the same, is it?"

"You tell me."

"Please," Alex repeated, glancing behind Nicky at the streams of kids coming back from lunch. "I don't want anyone to see me like this."

Nicky looked away for a moment, then nodded sharply. "Fine," she said, shaking her head. "We can go to my place. But I'm not happy about this."

"I know," Alex whispered. "Thanks, Nicky."

Nicky looked at Alex. Her eyes softened and her fingers tightened around her car keys. The jagged metal cut into her palm, but it was keeping a lid on her resentment.

"Come on, kid," she said softly. "And you, Blondie," she said to Piper. "She needs you right now."

Nicky pulled up outside her apartment building and cut the engine. The singer on the radio was rudely interrupted, and it was in that moment that Piper realized how silent the ride home had been.

"Nicky, do you have make-up that I could use? I have a little in my purse but I think it needs quite a bit of covering…"

"Yes," Nicky said without looking back. She swung her legs out of the car and slammed her door behind her, leaving Piper and Alex exchanging tired glances at one another.

They stepped out of the car together, following Nicky wordlessly to her apartment. She opened it up and stepped aside to let them in.

"I'll grab my makeup bag," Nicky said, gesturing vaguely to one of the doors ahead of them. "You two get settled. Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge."

Piper waited until Nicky had disappeared from sight to turn to Alex. "What the hell _happened,_ Alex?" she whispered. She grabbed her hand. "You can talk to me, you know that!"

"I'm sorry, Piper," she sobbed. Her voice cracked on the blonde's name. "I get that you probably worried about me and-"

"Did you not get my calls?" Piper interrupted. "You _knew_ I was worried about you!"

"Actually, no," Alex said with a sniff. "Diane smashed my phone." Alex looked ashamed at the admission and wouldn't look at Piper though she gripped her hand tighter than before. "And now I'm worrying you all and being cagey as fuck and I'm turning into my mother," she cried. "I don't wanna _be_ like that!"

"Did she do that to you?" Piper asked quietly.

Alex shook her head. "Not...exactly."

 _Diane glared at Alex. "You shouldn't have told your friend to leave," she said. "She's the only one I was gonna get any answers out of."_

" _Are you kidding me?" Alex folded her arms, looking out of her window at Piper finally driving away. "I don't want her to see you like this. I don't want_ anyone _to see you like this!"_

" _Have more respect! I'm your mother for God's sake. And I don't want you having a God-damn gun!"_

" _Why?" Alex retorted._

" _Because it's fucking dangerous! Why the hell do you need it anyway?" Diane took a long drag from her cigarette, shaking her head._

" _Was it dangerous yesterday? Or last week? Or three months ago?" she challenged. "Because I had it then too. And you were too busy with everything else to notice."_

 _Diane grabbed her arm with her free hand, digging her nails in. "I'm working! To put food on the table, to clothe you!"_

 _Alex scoffed. "You can't be fucking serious."_

Piper folded her hands on her lap, waiting for Alex to continue. She couldn't stand to look at the ugly bruises on her face. "You can tell me," she repeated quietly. "I know I've gone on and on about the gun, and I'm _sorry_ if...if I caused that to happen to you…"

Before Alex had the chance to answer, Nicky burst through the door. She made a beeline for Piper, and dropped the makeup case on her lap.

"I have to go," Nicky said, her voice thick.

Piper looked up questioningly. She noticed the smudge of mascara on Nicky's cheek but didn't question it. "Why?"

"Oh," Nicky replied, as if she hadn't been expecting to be asked, "Red called. She needs some help at the shop." She paused. "You two can stay here as long as you need, though...take your time. It's fine."

"What if your mom comes home?" Piper asked.

"If you pretend to be me, and Alex pretends to be Lorna, I'm not even sure she'll notice the difference." She stopped herself as Piper looked at her, not seeming amused in the slightest. "Seriously. If she's back before ten I'll pay you a hundred dollars."

Alex looked up. "Thanks, Nicky."

"She won't be home before then, so no need to thank me. I won't be paying you."

Alex raised her eyebrows. "I meant for letting us stay."

Nicky nodded. "I know."

As Nicky left, Alex turned to Piper, ready to continue their previous conversation now that they were alone. She scoffed. "It wasn't your fault, Piper."

"It wasn't yours either."

"No, it was," Alex insisted. "I shouldn't have pushed her. I always push her."

"You take care of her so well," Piper murmured. She pressed her hand on Alex's knee. "You've built a business for yourself to keep the lights on, what more could you do for her?"

" _Show me where it is," Diane demanded. "Show me or so help me I will call your father. Unless you hand it over, you can go and live with him and fucking Nell."_

" _Mom," Alex sighed, closing her eyes. She tried to yank her hand back from Diane with little success. "Mom, please let go. You're hurting me."_

 _She should have known what that look in her eye meant. What that eye twitch was telling her. Yet she hated seeing her mom like she was now. There was no coming back, not until she had spent three days in bed and came out of her mood in her own time. Alex still pushed it._

" _The gun, Alex," Diane continued, stubbing her cigarette out on the desk Alex had so painstakingly painted. Alex watched, her bitterness and resentment building by the second. "Bring me the gun."_

 _Grinding her teeth, Alex obeyed. "I hate you for this," she muttered._

 _As soon as the gun was in her hand, Diane let go of Alex. Sobs began to wrack her whole body, and she looked at her daughter. Gone was the little girl she loved so much, and in her place was a young lady, with free will and a mind of her own. Skinned knees and Lego houses had been so much easier, she lamented._

" _I don't care if you hate me," she cried, reaching out for Alex and pulling her close. She nestled her head into Alex's neck. "I will always love you, and as your mama it's my job to keep you safe. You might understand one day, but even if you never do, I won't regret not letting you get tangled up in this gang kinda stuff. It ruins lives, honey, and you are so much_ smarter _than that!"_

 _Alex's eyes softened as she looked at her mom. "I shouldn't have said that," she said after a moment. "I'm sorry. I do love you. I do."_

" _I know you do, honey," Diane said, running her fingers through Alex's silky locks. "And that's why I'm getting rid of this once and for all. No more trouble, not for you."_

 _Alex froze in the hug. She pulled away. "You can't get rid of it. Take it from me, sure, but please, mom...don't get rid of it."_

" _Alex, I'm not keeping a loaded gun in this house. What if your father hears about it? What would I do then?"_

" _Who's gonna tell him?" Alex countered. Before her mom had a chance to argue her point, Alex made a grab for the gun. Diane tried to yank it away, but she moved a second too late. The gun slipped in Alex's fingers and she grappled to keep ahold of it. Time seemed to move impossibly slowly as the gun dropped to the floor with a sickening crack._

"You don't understand," Alex continued, chewing on her fingernails. She looked up. Tears pooled in her eyes and she brushed them away before they fell. "Piper, I fucking _shot_ her!"

* * *

Nicky pushed open the door to Red's little shop, pleased to be out of the rain. She shook her head, spraying raindrops everywhere, and felt her nerves calming already as she heard the little bell jangling above her.

She just needed _space_. Space from Alex, space from Piper, space from every single thing that had been going wrong lately. When she'd seen Alex's face, it was like a punch to the gut. Alex had always been there for her, yet she had missed that something was wrong. She hadn't even had an inkling.

From the cramped staff room in the back, Red's head snapped up. "We're closed!" she yelled, sighing as she set her glasses on top of her head and set her order forms to the side. Coming to a stand, she stuck her head around the door to see Nicky.

"I can come back tomorrow," the blonde offered insincerely, a little smile playing on her lips.

Red placed a hand on her hip, shaking her head. "We're never closed for you," she sang. "Sit down. I'll make you a hot drink."

Nicky sat wordlessly and played with the menu Red had carefully placed down ready for the next morning. Though Red made idle chat, Nicky made little effort to reply.

Red set a hot chocolate in front of Nicky and dropped a few marshmallows on top. As Nicky wrapped her cold fingers around the mug, Red sat down in front of her. She looked at Nicky for a moment, her lips pressed together sadly, and then tucked a few strands of Nicky's copper hair behind her ear.

"Are you gonna tell me, hm?" Red asked after another moment of silence.. She tapped on the counter top in front of Nicky with a scarlet nail. "Tell me what's making you look so sad. You usually sing like a canary."

"Mm," Nicky said, delaying saying anything else by taking a long sip from her drink. She set the mug down and wiped away the whipped cream mustache that had formed on her top lip. "It's Alex," she murmured, looking down into her mug.

Red rested her elbow on the counter, leaning her head against her hand. She looked at her girl, feeling powerless to help her. She'd nursed her through the worst part of withdrawal, but she couldn't make her friends play nice. It seemed like a small issue, yet she looked so dejected.

Red pressed her lips together. "Have you two fallen out?"

Nicky shook her head. "Not exactly…" she said with a sigh. She looked at Red, shrugging her shoulders. "Ever since she got with Piper, she never tells me anything."

"It sounds like you-"

"I'm not jealous!" Nicky snapped before she could finish.

"I wasn't going to say jealous," Red said gently, sensing a sore spot. "I was going to say it sounds like you miss her."

"Sorry." Nicky glanced at Red guiltily. "I do miss her. Piper takes up all her time. It's all _Piper this and Piper that_ ," she complained.

"Well, that's what happens when you're in love," Red said, flashing her an apologetic smile. She patted Nicky's hand, brushing her thumb over her knuckles. "I'm sure she doesn't mean to leave you out. She's had a girlfriend before, hasn't she?"

Nicky scoffed. "Just a few."

"Well then," Red said as she wiped up a small spot of hot chocolate that Nicky had splashed on her clean counter top. "She's probably just wrapped up in the whirlwind. It'll blow over. You two have been friends for years. Don't let anyone get in between that."

Red offered Nicky a smile and, getting up, she walked behind the counter. She pulled out a pastry that she had saved for Nicky earlier in the day, after the second to last one had been sold. It was her favorite. She passed it to her on a small saucer.

"Here," she said. "I thought you might like this. Put all thoughts of Alex out of your head and eat that."

Nicky took it, squeezing Red's hand in thanks. "Only if you have half," she said, breaking it in two. "I know it's your favorite."

Red sat back down on the stool. "You remembered," she said in surprise. She nibbled on a piece of the treat, feeling appreciated.

"Mhm," Nicky said, her mouth full. Red had offered her one the first time she had seen her, skinny and shaking and alone, and told her exactly that; _"eat this, dorogoy, it was always my favorite."_ Nicky had since had better tasting delicacies in the shop, but nothing came close to making her feel as safe, protected and at home as that one does. She chewed thoughtfully.

"Now, are you feeling better?" Red asked. She rubbed Nicky's shoulder reassuringly. "I'm sure Alex will come back to you soon. She always does, doesn't she?"

"No, it's different this time," Nicky said anxiously. "Something happened to her," Nicky continued. She hesitated for a moment, wondering what Red would do if she told her the full story. "Do you remember that girl that came into the shop a while ago?"

Red raised her eyebrows. "The girl you 'didn't know'?"

Nicky nodded reluctantly. "She's Alex's ex-girlfriend...Sylvie."

"Sylvie?" Red echoed. Her eyes darkened, and Nicky jumped as she slammed her hand down on the counter. It smacked down with such force that Nicky was surprised she didn't yelp in pain, yet she was so focused she hadn't even felt it. Flakes from the pastry flew onto her freshly swept floor but again she didn't bat an eyelid. "She had the fucking audacity to come into _my_ shop?"

Nicky chewed on her thumbnail worriedly, and despite her fears about Red exploding, she continued. "I think she did something again."

Red's head snapped up. "What did she do?" she spat, her accent thick. "It can't have been worse than what she did to you."

Nicky pressed her lips together, flicking a marshmallow so that it bobbed in the mug. "Well, I don't know for sure that she did anything…"

"But?" Red prompted, raising her eyebrows. "Come on, Nicky."

"Alex hasn't been in school for three days and Piper hadn't heard from her, I just assumed they were together...but she came into school today with a black eye and she was real jumpy...I don't know what's going on, Red."

"Where is her mother?" Red said, coming to a stand. "Why is she letting this happen? Can't she see that that girl is toxic? That she's bad news?" She threw her hands up into the air and then rubbed her chin in thought. "If she won't sort this out, then _I_ will."

"Red-"

"No!" Red held a hand up, silencing Nicky. She rubbed her thumb along her jawline, her features harsh as she frowned. "Drink your hot chocolate, _malyshka_. I need time to think."

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading! I really hope you enjoyed the update. I tried to update a little quicker this time as I know I tend to update fairly infrequently...believe it or not that isn't intentional and time really does fly. Thank you everyone for the reviews. Please do let me know what you think, it really inspires me to write the next chapter. As I imagined would be the case, not as many people are reading after season 7, I don't think. So those reviews mean a lot to me!**

 **Hope everyone is doing well.**

 **\- Star xo**


	14. Chapter 14

"Mrs Vause, really I had no idea you were here," Red said, her voice full of compassion. She reached over to squeeze Diane's hand. "How are you holding up?"

Diane looked up from her bed, dark circles underneath her eyes. IVs ran from her wrists, wires tangled together in a mess. "Why are you here?" she asked rather abruptly.

Red sat back, a little shocked at the stark question. She assumed it was either the pain or the pain meds making her sound ruder than she intended, so smiled easily back at her. "I'm here to see how you are," she replied, a little less than honestly.

"Really?" Diane asked, folding her arms. She winced at the movement, sucking in a breath. It took her a moment to continue. "I know you care about Alex and I appreciate it, so if you're here about her please just say whatever it is you've come to say. I don't have the energy to make small talk right now."

"Of course not," Red said, pressing her lips together into something that almost resembled a smile. "I won't insult your intelligence again. I _am_ here about Alex."

"Yes?" she prompted.

Red shifted in her seat. "It's about Sylvie."

Diane sighed, covering her eyes with her hand. "Don't fucking talk to me about her," she said weakly. "I've screamed at Alex, I've told her to stay away from her, but she's just drawn to her. Like a moth to a flame."

Red frowned. "Well get the fucking bug spray out," she snapped. "Of course Alex isn't listening to you. She's fifteen years old! Don't discuss it with her, just _do_ something about it."

"What am I supposed to do?" Diane asked, glaring at Red. "You're the perfect mother, why don't you tell me?"

"I'm not the perfect mother," Red said, flushing. "I just don't want Alex getting hurt, and there's only one way this whole thing is gonna end."

"Nicky seems to think you're the perfect mother," Diane muttered. "She's always telling Alex that."

Red smiled faintly; she knew that was true, but it didn't make it a fact. "Well, Nicky doesn't know everything. She's a child, so that's how I plan to keep it, too."

"You have a husband to talk to," Diane said. "You have no idea how hard it is to raise Alex alone."

"You could talk to me," Red offered. "I know I don't understand how difficult it is. But that's not Alex's fault and she's suffering because of it."

" _She's suffering?"_ Diane echoed. She leaned closer to Red, ignoring the searing pain shooting through her abdomen. "She's the one who shot me!"

Red choked on air. "Sorry, what?"

"Mhm, you didn't know?" Diane looked at Red, triumph on her features. "She left that part out, did she?"

"I haven't even _spoken_ to Alex! How did this happen?" Red wondered aloud. "I don't understand."

"You wouldn't," Diane said, looking away. "She's a wild-child."

"Mm," Red said, not particularly agreeing. Alex was always polite, courteous, and a pleasure to be around. How much of that was due to her mother, Red didn't know, but she wasn't finding her very agreeable right at that moment. "God. She must be feeling so awful. Where is she?"

"She must be feeling awful?" Diane scoffed. "She hasn't visited me once! You know, when my mother found out I was pregnant, she told me it would ruin my life. I knew my baby wouldn't. I carried her and I raised her alone. And now guess what? Mom was right."

"Don't say that about your own child," Red said, recoiling back. "If she's wild, then that's on you!"

"On me? I can't control everything she does, Mrs Reznikov. She's got free will you know."

"I'm aware," Red said, frowning. She sighed. "Mrs Vause...I know you try your best with Alex, but things like this can be so damaging for children. Please try and make it up with her. She needs you."

Diane looked away, tears forming in her eyes. "Alex hasn't needed me for years now. She's a clever girl. Always was, you know. I failed her and she found a way to look after herself. She doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I'm an embarrassment to her, plain and simple."

Red laughed. "You think I'm not an embarrassment to my kids? Vasily makes me drop him off round the block. All kids get like that. But it passes and doesn't last forever. Maxsim lets me say goodbye in front of his friends now."

"They only come round if you were there for them," Diane murmured. "Alex had to be there for herself. I've tried, Mrs Reznikov…" her voice sounded heavy and Red wasn't sure if it was emotion or the meds. "I've tried so hard, but I've failed her."

"Well, adults don't always make the best decisions. That includes mothers."

"You wouldn't," Diane said, tears dripping down her cheeks. She wiped them away, looking at Red. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"You don't know the half of it," Red said with a sad half smile. "Listen, Mrs Vause...Alex _will_ want to see you. If I know her she will be out of her mind with worry. Let me bring her to see you."

"I can't pay you for gas," Diane sniffed.

"There's absolutely no need for that," Red said, her hand curling around the strap of her purse. "I'll bring her," she said before Diane could come up with a reason not to. "I'll go get her now. Okay?"

Diane looked away but nodded. "Okay."

* * *

"Sweetie, it was an _accident!"_ Piper said, rubbing Alex's arm comfortingly. "You didn't even shoot her, not really, the gun dropped and fired."

"I know, but if I'd just _given_ her the gun.." Alex covered her eyes with her fingers. "None of this would have happened."

Piper pressed her lips together, unable to argue with that. After all, that was the argument she too had made previously. She gestured to Alex's eye. "But what happened to your eye…?"

Alex wiped her brow with the back of her hand. "I fell to the floor to help her, but she pushed me away...she hit me as I tried to help her."

A worry line appeared on Piper's usually smooth forehead. She couldn't imagine her own mother reacting the same way at all. In fact, when Piper had shut her mom's fingers in a car door, and the horrible crack of her bones breaking broke through the air, it was her mom who was comforting _her,_ despite the pain she must have been in. Piper had been hysterical, and whilst they waited for her dad to arrive to take them to the ER, her mom had reassured her that everything was fine.

Granted, that wasn't a life or death scenario, but Piper's parents had always put her first. And though she always complained about the bump on her finger where her ring sat, she would never dream of putting any guilt onto Piper. She already felt guilty enough on her own.

"It was an accident," Piper repeated, nuzzling her head into Alex's neck. "It was as much your mom's fault as it was yours."

"But she's the one who got hurt," Alex said, a sob bubbling up in her chest. She looked down at the floor, her chin wobbling.

Piper stared for a moment, not doing or saying anything. She looked so young when she cried. It was almost captivating to watch her. Then she caught herself. "I think you're hurting too," she said quietly, tangling her fingers with Alex's. "You're clearly upset about your mom and your eye looks so sore. How _is_ she, anyway?"

"I...don't know," Alex admitted. "I haven't been to see her yet. As they were taking her away she told me to stay away."

Piper chewed on her lip. "I'm really sorry, Alex."

"I'm a shitty daughter."

"No, you're not," Piper insisted. "You just...made a mistake." A moment of silence passed between them before Piper spoke up again. "So...you don't even know if she's okay?"

Alex shrugged miserably. "I mean, I think they would have called me if she wasn't."

A key in the lock tore them from their conversation. Piper froze on the spot. She had to admit she was a little afraid to come face to face with Marka again. Even if she'd seemed pleased to see her the first time they'd met, she wasn't sure she'd get such a warm welcome sitting in her living room.

"I'll go," Alex said weakly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Piper watched on as she stood and walked to the door.

"Be careful," Piper said.

"Red?" Alex said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Red stared at Alex for a moment, her breath catching in her throat. Though they'd tried to cover it up, a nasty bruise was showing through her foundation. Still, she tried not to let her eyes linger. Whatever had happened between Alex and her mother, they were the only thing in the world they had - each other.

"I'm here to take you to your mother," Red said. "Nicky gave me a door key for emergencies. I don't think her mother knows I have it, so you know, keep that to yourself."

"I will," Alex said easily, nodding. "I don't like talking to Marka anyways."

"That makes two of us," Red said dryly. "Come on, get your things."

Alex frowned, leaning against a small side table in the hallway. "Diane doesn't want to see me. She said so."

"Nonsense," Red said swiftly. "Your mother loves you and she wants to see you. So grab your coat, it's cold outside."

Alex crossed her arms, shaking her head. "Red, I don't _want_ to see my mom. Not if she doesn't want to see me."

"Sorry," Red said, tightening the scarf around her neck. "Did I give you the impression I was asking you if you wanted to? Because I wasn't. I'll tell you again; go get your things. We're going to the hospital."

Alex stood up. She was already taller than Red, but she wasn't at all intimidating - she might have had the body of an adult, but she was still a child. Her face was set in a glare. Her mom wouldn't have lasted much longer in this standoff, but Red was no pushover.

Red only broke their intense stare to check her watch. "Do you want to hit every bit of traffic?" she asked, sounding bored.

When Alex realized she wasn't going to back down, she huffed. "I'll need to let Piper know."

"You can bring her if you'd like," Red said. She always liked to compromise. Alex had backed down, so she would throw her a bone, of sorts. "We could get some dinner afterwards?"

Alex scuffed the toe of her shoe on the floor. "No, I don't have much money at the moment."

"We can go to my bakery," Red said. "I promised your mother I'd look after you. You can't afford to lose any weight, you've barely an ounce on you."

"I don't like owing people," Alex said.

Red nodded. "I get that," she said carefully. "But I need somebody to do my displays. Vasily is still too short and Yuri won't be seen dead at the shop now. How about you do that for me whilst I fix us all something to eat?"

Alex nodded, looking away. "Yeah," she said softly, her hair falling in front of her face. "I can do that, if you need me to."

"I do," Red said, tucking her purse under her arm. "It would help me a lot if you could. What do you say?"

"Yeah. Okay." She nodded quickly. "Let me get Piper. She's good at art, she does all the displays at school," Alex said, sounding a little more eager. "She'll love doing this."

"Go on then," Red said, hiding a smile. "If we make it back in time, I know there'll be some sweet treats left too."

As Red pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, Alex held her breath. Her leg bounced uncontrollably.

"It's okay," Piper said, grabbing onto Alex's hand. She squeezed it reassuringly. "Your mom is going to be so excited to see you. She must have missed you so much."

Piper was thinking about the time her parents left her and her brothers to go on a Carribean cruise. It had been a lovely two weeks, Carol had gushed, but she had missed her babies too much to do it again.

Red glanced at Piper in the rearview mirror, pursing her lips. She hoped the blonde wasn't raising Alex's hopes too much; she knew from experience that Carol Chapman was very, very different to Diane Vause. Alex knew her mother, though, and shrugged despondently.

"I mean, she finds it hard sometimes," Alex admitted, giving a little half shrug with one of her shoulders. "Don't get mad at her if she isn't jumping up and down with glee."

Red took the keys out of the ignition, fighting hard to keep her face neutral. Diane might have been trying her best, but it looked to her that her best simply wasn't good enough. She held back a sigh and turned back brightly to the girls huddled up together on the back seat.

"Ready?"

Two enthusiastic nods was their response. Red nodded, giving Alex a quick smile, and climbed out of the car. She'd already navigated the hospital once this morning and she hadn't forgotten how to find Diane, so she expertly led the way. Just outside of the ward Red had told Alex her mom belonged to, Alex stopped.

"Red?"

The older woman stopped too, her hand hovering over the door handle. She turned back towards Alex. "Mm?"

"Will you stay with me?"

"Of course I will," Red said. She frowned. "I was always going to go in with you. Please don't worry. Nothing bad will happen."

"No, I know," Alex persisted. "But if she asks you to go...will you stay?"

Red raised her eyebrows, wondering what was prompting this question from Alex. Instead of probing her for more answers that the teen would likely be reluctant to give, Red nodded. "Yes," she said, no questions asked.

"Okay," Alex said, looking decidedly happier about where they were headed. "I think I'm ready now."

Piper stopped before following. "Do you want me to wait outside?"

Alex hesitated. "Do you _want_ to wait outside?"

"I don't mind," Piper lied. Of course she wanted to go in with Alex. Of course she wanted to support her in the way that she deserved. But she _didn't_ want to push her way in. She didn't want to bulldoze her way through this situation, when Alex was supposed to be the one making the decisions.

Alex wavered. "Would you come with me? I think...I think it would be easier with you there, with me."

Piper knew it wasn't an occasion for smiling. Yet she couldn't help but beam at Alex when she said that, and she nodded eagerly. "Of course," she said simply, grabbing hold of Alex's hand. "Together. We do this together. Right?"

Alex swallowed hard, looking from Red to Piper. "Right."

Turning away, Alex walked robotically through the ward until she saw a shock of dark hair on a white pillow. She instantly came to a halt.

"Mom?"

Diane's eyes fluttered open. "Alex," she said quietly, her pale face creasing in pain. "You came."

Alex flew to her mother's bedside. "Of course I came," she said, burying her head into Diane's shoulder. "I wanted to come ages ago. But...you didn't want me to."

"I did," Diane said, breaking out into sobs. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I should never have said that." She looked around and when she saw no-one, she said, "I just didn't want you getting blamed for something.."

Alex looked down. "Something that I did?"

"Do you think that matters to me?" Diane said. "I don't care what you've done." She looked to Red, who nodded encouragingly. "You're my child and I love you no matter what. Unconditionally. Okay?"

Alex nodded, breathing in the scent of her mom's hair as she snuggled in closer. "I really missed you, you know."

"I know, sweetie," Diane said, fighting tears. "I should never have said those ugly things to you." She held Alex out at an arm's length. "And I never should have given you _that,"_ she whispered, horrified at the black eye peeking out under makeup. She prodded at it gently, wincing though Alex didn't. "Does it hurt?"

Alex shrugged it off though it did, and her poking it had only hurt it further. "It's okay," she whispered.

"It's not," she said resolutely. "And I will make it better. I promise you."

Alex smiled but said nothing. Her mom had promised her the world a thousand times over yet barely a hot meal had materialised over the years. It wasn't her fault, she knew that, but it didn't make it any easier to swallow the lies.

"I'm just so glad you came to see me," Diane said, hugging her closer. She winced at the pain in her side. Upon seeing Alex's panicked face, she smiled. "It's okay. It's healing. I'll be okay. _We'll_ be okay." She looked up. "Oh, and you brought Penny!"

"Piper," the blonde corrected, shifting her weight to her other leg. She stared at Alex's mother. She was supposed to be relieved that she was okay, but she couldn't help replaying the thought of Diane giving Alex that shiner. It was bugging her. More than bugging her. Sitting there was the woman who brought Alex into the world. The woman who was supposed to protect her from anything and everything. Yet she hadn't. She had failed her time and time again. It might have been wrong but Piper was finding it increasingly difficult to keep her mouth shut.

What if she got close to her mother and she broke down again? What if she couldn't keep Alex safe? It didn't seem she had done a very good job so far, and they were valid concerns. Piper focused on concentrating on counting the tiles on the wall.

"Oh," Diane said, still smiling. "Sorry. It's the meds, and I'm so tired.."

"Don't worry about it," Piper said. "I hope you feel better soon. Maybe we should leave to you rest, if you're feeling sleepy."

There was an edge to Piper's voice.

Alex looked up in surprise. She wrapped her hand around her mother's. "We don't have to go yet."

Diane looked uneasily from Piper to Red, who didn't look any happier at the situation. The older woman was pleased that Alex had seen her mother, but rather than Diane looking after Alex, it seemed the other way around. Red wasn't sure what to think.

"No, no," she said softly, looking down at her hospital gown. She placed a kiss on Alex's cheek. "You should go. You look tired too, monkey," she said, using the nickname she'd given her daughter years ago.

Alex smiled at the mention of it. She hadn't called her that in years. She used to be a clingy kid, before Diane had gone through her... _difficult_ years. It had been a long time since she'd even thought of then. It didn't seem helpful to remember the better years.

"I am," she admitted. "Okay, we can go. But can I just talk to the nurse before we go? You and Red could go get the car and pay the ticket. I could meet you down there."

Red nodded and looked to Piper, who gave a swift nod too. "We'll see you down there. Take as long as you need."

"Once the ticket is paid you can't hang around," Piper reminded her. "Red will get a fine."

Alex nodded. "That's okay. I won't be long, promise. I'll meet you down there," she repeated.

"Feel better, Mrs Vause," Red said.

Piper echoed Red's sentiments with an empty smile and they turned away. Piper followed Red like a puppy dog, matching her quick step.

Red said nothing to Piper as they walked down to the car, despite seeing Piper's gaze lingering on her. She was mulling the whole situation over. How she would have handled it if it were her boys. If it were Nicky. She didn't know, but differently to Diane, that was for sure. She sighed as she opened the car up, sliding into the driver's seat. She drummed her fingers on the wheel contemplatively.

In the back, Piper couldn't hold it in any longer. "How can you be around her?" she exploded. "She's impossible! She gave Alex that black eye, you know. Not Sylvie. Her own _mother!"_

Red looked at Piper in the rearview mirror. "I know," she said. It hadn't taken much to figure out, and she was processing it as Piper was. She said no more on the matter.

"Alex doesn't see it," she continued, huffing in annoyance. "Diane does all this crazy stuff, puts her in danger, barely pays the bills and yet...and yet she still-"

"Loves her?" Red finished. She raised her eyebrows, a sigh escaping from her own lips. "Piper, she's her _mother._ People rarely see the flaws in those that they love. It's nature's way of keeping the population alive."

Piper didn't find the humor in Red's statement. She glared at no-one in particular and balled her fists up. "Nicky doesn't seem to see it that way. Her mom is horrible and she knows it."

 _Nicky._ Red loved her, there was no denying that, but the girl wasn't anyone to model behavior against. Red sighed, placing her hands on the steering wheel. She didn't know how to word it, especially not to a teenager. _Especially_ to a teenager who could repeat her words straight to Nicky.

"Nicky...Nicky is complicated," she said, letting nothing more slip. "She's confused."

"She doesn't seem it."

"I know," Red said. "But that doesn't mean it isn't true."

Before Piper could respond, Alex yanked the car door open on the other side. She wasn't exactly beaming like the Chesire cat, but she looked relieved and much happier than she had on the way over.

"Thanks, Red," Alex said as she slid into the seat next to Piper. She threaded her fingers into Piper's wordlessly and squeezed. "I feel so much better now I've seen her."

Red smiled. "No problem, honey." She looked at Piper, whose face was still set in a glare, but had lost its edge now Alex was next to her. "How about we go get some lunch? I'm sure you've got a lot on your mind to work through."

Alex looked to Piper. "How does lunch sound?"

Piper forced herself to smile. It wasn't hard when she was looking at Alex. Her anger at Diane was ebbing away, and Alex looked as if she had lost five pounds in the days she'd been missing. Piper nodded. "Sure," she said easily, rubbing her shoulder against Alex's. "Lunch with you sounds perfect."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed the update. I'm sorry it took so long. Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews. I appreciate every single one - please let me know what you thought of this chapter if you enjoyed. Or if you didn't let me know what you'd like to see in future.**

 **Hope you're all well.**

 **\- Star xo**


	15. Chapter 15

Nicky hopped from the stool at the counter as the bell jinged above the door, signalling Red's arrival. The smile that had plastered itself over her face dropped as she saw Piper and Alex coming through the door quickly followed by the person she had _actually_ wanted to see.

"I thought we were having lunch," Nicky said, all tact out of the window. Her lips were pursed as she awaited Red's response and she didn't seem pleased in the slightest even with Alex's presence.

"We are," Red said simply, hanging her coat on the stand by the door. She raised her eyebrows, waiting to see if Nicky would push any further. "I invited Piper and Alex to join us. I take it you're still hungry?"

"Yes," Nicky admitted reluctantly. She looked to Alex, rubbing her ear on her shoulder and pressing her lips together. "I'm sorry for telling Red about what happened."

"That's okay," Alex said, shrugging. "It wasn't what you thought anyway...but Red took me to see my mom, so everything worked out."

Nicky raised her eyebrows. "Took you where to see your mom?"

Alex rocked on her heels. "The hospital."

"Why is your mom in the hospital?" Nicky asked, all traces of her sulk gone as her curiosity got the better of her. She lowered her voice. "Is she having one of her...episodes, again?"

Alex shook her head, picking at her hangnails. "No, not exactly," she said slowly.

"You don't have to answer her," Red said, looping an apron round her neck. She glanced at Nicky, tugging gently on one of her curls. "Have you never heard of the phrase, ' _not my circus, not my monkeys',_ hm?"

"I mean, if I _hadn't_ involved myself already, Alex wouldn't have seen her mom. So technically, this is one big circus involving us all. Piper could be the ventriloquist dummy," she offered.

"Ha-ha," Piper said weakly, throwing a glare in Nicky's direction. She sat down on one of the bar stools at the counter and rolled her eyes. "Where was that display you wanted help with, Red?"

"Oh, it's just over there," Red said vaguely. "You can get to it later. I'll fix you something to eat first. It's been a long day."

"Mm," Piper agreed, gratefully accepting when Red reached over to pass her a steaming mug of hot chocolate. "Thanks."

"No problem," Red said, smiling as she watched Piper warming her hands on the mug. "Alex, would you like one?"

"I'll take a coffee," Nicky piped up.

Red raised her eyebrows. "Will you?"

" _Can_ I have a coffee, please?" Nicky rephrased, offering Red a sheepish smile.

"No, you don't need the caffeine," Red said, passing her a mug of hot chocolate the same as Piper had. She watched as Nicky looked down at the mug, a frown beginning to form on her face. "Take it or leave it," the older woman sang, lifting the mug away teasingly.

Nicky took it, of course, and Alex nodded from behind her.

"I'll take one please, Red," she said, sitting herself down next to Piper. The blonde continued to stare down into her mug without flinching as Alex stared at her. A little v formed between her eyebrows as she gave Piper a little poke, moving her hair out of the way so that she could see her face. "You okay, Pipes?"

"Of course," Piper said, plastering a fake smile on. "I'm fine, sweetie. I'm glad you had fun visiting your mom. Do you feel better now?"

Alex smiled. She was pretty sure this was a distraction technique on Piper's part, but if she didn't want to talk about it now, that was fine by her. They could talk about it later, but she would find out whatever it was.

"I do," she said with a firm nod. "I know you probably don't understand, but...I've been looking after her my whole life. It was hell, those three days. Seeing her was such a relief."

Piper forced herself to smile. She might not understand it, but she was willing to try to. She laced her fingers with Alex's, brushing her thumb over the back of her hand.

"I'll bet," she said, sounding anything but enthusiastic. With her free hand she took another sip from her hot cocoa. "This is lovely Red, thank you."

"You're welcome, honey," Red said, looking over the grill she was toasting bagels with. "These will be ready in just a moment so I hope you're hungry."

Piper smiled. "Yeah, I am," she said agreeably, her nose in the air appreciatively sniffing at the scent of freshly warmed bagels wafting through. "Mm. They smell just like the ones you get at _Bagel Oasis."_

"They're better," Nicky said, which earned a smile from Red. She wrinkled her nose. "Red never reheats them. I'm pretty sure they do at _Oasis."_

Red looked up at Alex and Piper, who weren't really chattering away like they usually did. "Nicky," she said, remembering her and Piper's conversation in the car, " I'm out of cream cheese and my back hurts. Would you help me get some from the store room fridge?"

Nicky hopped from her chair easily, nodding as she drained the last of her hot chocolate. "Sure," she said agreeably, her eyebrows knitting together. "But I thought you got some down the other day."

Red shot a glare Nicky's way. "Yes, well, a lot of people like bagels, don't they? We're in New York, remember," she said sharply.

Nicky rolled her eyes, exchanged a glance with Alex as if to say, _I have no idea what is going on,_ and followed Red out to the back room.

Piper turned to Alex, hands on hips. "How are you _really?"_

Alex looked a little bemused. "Fine," she said, pushing her glasses further up her nose. She looked at Piper. "I'm fine."

"What happened that night?" Piper asked.

"I already told you," Alex sighed. "The gun dropped and-"

"Yeah, I know," Piper said, lowering her voice. "But where is the gun now? Did you get rid of it?"

Alex shook her head, her eyes misting.

"Where is it?"

Silence.

Piper's eyes widened. "It's not in that fucking boot, is it?"

Wordlessly, Alex nodded.

Piper groaned but clutched Alex's clammy hand in hers. "It's okay. We're going to sit tight here, eat that bagel, put up that window display, and then we're gonna go to yours. I will sort this out. Okay?"

Alex bit down hard on her lip. "I don't want you getting involved."

"Isn't it a bit late to worry about that?" Piper said.

"This isn't kid stuff," Alex said sharply. "It's not pills and weed, okay? It's an unregistered gun that almost killed someone. This is a _whole_ different ball-game."

"What happened when the ambulance came to your house?"

"It didn't," Alex said, tears brimming in her eyes. "My mom limped outside to an alleyway outside of our house. You know the one. Then she told me to go and get lost. Said she didn't wanna see me."

Piper felt her heart squeeze. "Sweetie, she didn't want you getting into trouble with the law," she said, finally finding some common ground with Diane. "She didn't not wanna see you. She was trying to protect you."

Piper swallowed hard. The thought of Diane hobbling, a gunshot wound to the stomach, out of her home and into a dirty, dingy alleyway just to protect her daughter made Piper feel sick. She must have been in so much pain. She must have been so frightened that she wouldn't make it, terrified that Alex would get into serious trouble.

"It didn't feel like that at the time," Alex said quietly.

"No," Piper said softly, pushing Alex's hair back out of her eyes. "I don't suppose it did. But you were in shock. And we're going to sort this. Okay?"

Alex nodded, wrapping her pinky finger around Piper's in promise. "Okay."

The brunette wiped her eyes on the back of her hand as Red and Nicky walked back in. Nicky peeked at her from behind the large cardboard box she was juggling.

"You okay, Al?"

Alex forced out a smile. "Yeah. Of course I am," she said, repositioning her glasses. "The real question is: are you?" She laughed. "You look like you're struggling with that box, girl."

"Not me," Nicky said, heaving the box down next to the smaller refrigerator behind the counter. She kissed her almost non-existent biceps and flexed. "I can handle the heat." She squatted down to place the smaller containers of cream cheese into the fridge. "Red," she said, her tone colored with annoyance. "There _is_ cream cheese in here. I think you're losing it."

Red gave Alex a little smile and then rubbed Nicky's back as she placed three bagels down on a cutting board and began to spread cream cheese on them. "I must be," she said. "That happens when you get old, you know."

Nicky's hands hovered over the shelf. "You're not old, Red."

There was a slight quiver to Nicky's voice. She didn't like to think that way. Even with the lines on her face, even when she groaned as sat down, even when she complained about the gray hairs peeking through the maroon, Nicky never thought of Red as old. Old meant fragile. Old meant not much time left. She couldn't imagine life without Red and she didn't want to.

"No," Red agreed, giving Nicky a quick little squeeze. She pecked her cheek. "I'm not going anywhere for a long time." She turned to Alex. "No-one around here is, hm? I bet you're looking forward to your mom coming out of hospital."

"I am," Alex said. "I just hope she stays long enough to heal up properly. She hates hospitals, but she needs to be there."

"I'll visit her again," Red offered. "I'll try to make her see that staying is a good idea."

"Thanks, Red," Alex said. "I appreciate it."

As Nicky finished placing the cream cheeses into the fridge, Alex and Piper finished off their bagels. After a moment of sitting, their tummies full, Alex jumped from her chair. "So, what do you want us to do for the display?"

"Oh, just put up the specials board and hang some garland," Red said dismissively. "My boys used to do it but they have busy lives now. Even my youngest doesn't like doing it anymore." She let out a sigh. "I could force him but life has taught me to pick my battles. That's something to remember, girls. Always pick your battles."

"Oh, that won't take long," Piper said easily.

"The bits you'll need are in that box," Red said, tilting her head toward a cardboard box balanced on the countertop. "Just set that up and then you can go. I know you've had a lot to deal with."

Alex flashed Red a smile, taking Piper's hand and giving it a squeeze. Nicky rolled her eyes as Red smiled at young love.

"Yeah," Alex agreed, a sigh slipping from her lips, "But it's easier when you have someone to get through it with, isn't it?"

"It is," Red agreed. "Whilst you two get on with the display, I'm going to do a final stock check and empty the register. Nicky, will you serve customers, please?"

Nicky nodded, finishing off the rest of her bagel. She pulled a magazine from under the counter and got comfy to wait for the last stragglers of the day. "Sure."

Piper walked over to the box of window display supplies and pulled out the poster. Alex followed after her.

"I really appreciated you coming today," Alex said, her voice low. She stood close next to Piper so that their arms brushed. "I don't think I could have done it without you."

"Oh, you could have," Piper said, and she sounded like she really meant it, "I'm glad you got to see her. I know it meant a lot to you."

"No, I mean it," Alex pressed on. She pressed her lips together. "I've been so hard on you. I don't think...I don't think I've been very fair."

Piper looked up from the Blu Tack she was sticking to the poster to adhere it to the window, shrugging. "I shouldn't have pushed you so hard when you weren't ready."

She stuck the poster on the window, pressing it down hard with a sigh, and turned back to Alex.

"I tend to go a little crazy when I like something. Or someone. I can be...intense," she said slowly. She picked up a chalk window marker from the box, flipping it between her fingers. "I know I need to reign it in sometimes. But it comes from a good place." She flashed Alex a quick, half embarrassed smile. "Well, most of the time."

Alex nodded, tucking a strand of brunette hair behind her ear. "Yeah. I know that now."

* * *

Piper pulled up outside of Alex's house and cut the engine. She turned to Alex. "Ready?"

Alex nodded a little reluctantly, playing with her fingers as she stalled getting out of the car. "You really think this is a good idea?"

Piper nodded. "Absolutely. If they come looking for that gun, it's not exactly well hidden, is it?"

Besides, Piper thought, thanking God that Alex was finally listening; if that gun was out of Alex's hands, she wouldn't be able to get herself into any more trouble with it. Good riddance, she thought as she climbed out of the car, hoping Alex would follow.

Alex did follow, fishing her keys from her back pocket as she dawdled up the path to her house. Once, she would have felt ashamed as she stared up at her house, at the broken windows and the ivy crawling up the walls, but she couldn't even bring herself to care then. She opened up the door, letting Piper walk through first.

"You got a new rug," Piper noted, staring down at the - franky, ugly - runner that laid on the floor in front of her. "It's...different."

"Mm," Alex said, her eyes glued to the floor. "It covers the blood stain."

"Oh," Piper said, swallowing hard. She reached out for Alex's hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't think."

"It's fine," Alex said dismissively, making her way to her bedroom. "You couldn't have known. Wait here. I'll get the...I'll get it and then we can go straight away."

"We don't have to do it straight away," Piper offered. "I don't have to be home for a while."

"No, that's okay," Alex said over her shoulder.

Piper was stung, but Alex hadn't meant anything by it. It wasn't Piper, it was this house. She struggled to be in it for long periods of time now. If she had to be in it, then she was bundled under her covers in bed, music blaring, and trying to block it all out. It was harder than she'd anticipated, coming back after Diane had been shot.

Piper nodded to herself and waited for Alex to return. She was trying her hardest not to push Alex too hard, but she had to admit, it wasn't easy. When Alex did return, she clutched a bundle of fabric in her hands.

"I wrapped it in a tea towel," she explained. "It's not loaded anymore. The bullets are wrapped up in it too."

"Good," Piper said, looping her arm through Alex's. "Now come on. Let's get this over with."

* * *

Piper leaned on the edge of the bridge. "It's a pretty view," she noted, turning to Alex. "Sometimes I wish we could just freeze time, you know."

"Not in this moment," Alex said grimly, her sweaty hands trying to keep ahold of the bundle of fabric and the gun sitting underneath it.

"No," Piper agreed, a half smile appearing on her face. "Maybe not."

"Should I toss it now?" Alex asked.

Piper nodded. "Just drop it. Don't Frisbee it or anything."

Alex did as she asked. As she heard it splash down into the icy water, she couldn't help the sobs that broke through her eerily calm demeanor. She curled in on herself, wrapping herself up in her own arms, as she yelped and cried.

"Oh, Al," Piper breathed, pulling Alex closer to her. She held her up, and though Alex was taller than her, she seemed so childlike in her arms. Piper planted a kiss on her head, squeezing her tighter and tighter as she continued to weep. "It's okay now, alright? Everything is going to be okay. Your mom looked great. You're okay. You're _okay."_

"It's just been so hard," Alex said, barely able to draw breath through the tears that splashed down her ivory cheeks, "I'm so tired, Pipes."

"Tired?" Piper asked, holding her up. "You need to sleep, sweetie."

"I _can't,"_ Alex said. "How am I supposed to sleep? Nothing makes sense anymore. I have to work, I have to look after mom, I have to take care of everything! It'd be easier on my own," Alex said, and then she cried harder, because a couple of days ago, she _could_ have been left alone.

"You don't mean that," Piper said softly. "I think you need to get some sleep. Come on. I'm taking you home, okay?"

Alex nodded and let Piper lead her to the car. There was a weight lifted now the gun was gone, but there wasn't a huge amount of relief. She only felt exhausted and depleted.

Walking through her front door again, Alex tried to avoid looking at the rug on the floor. She limped to her bed, let Piper cover her with a blanket, and closed her eyes as the blonde sat on the edge of the bed, stroking her hair.

"Go to sleep," Piper said quietly. "Tomorrow will be a better day. I promise."

"You don't know that," Alex mumbled, her mouth pressed against her pillow. She cracked an eye open. "No-one knows that."

"No," Piper admitted, leaning down to kiss her forehead, "I guess I don't. But we can hope, right? And as long as we've got each other, we'll get through. I promise _that._ Hm?"

"Piper?"

She looked down. "Yeah?"

"I think I love you."

Piper hadn't been expecting that. Her hand froze, tangled in Alex's hair, as she nodded. "Yeah," she said, her voice barely audible. "I think I love you too."

* * *

Piper knew she should have gone home after dropping Alex off. She knew her parents would be wondering where she was by now, she knew there wasn't really anything she could do anywhere else. Yet as she drove, she wasn't driving home. She drove in the opposite direction, in fact.

"Poppy," Diane said in surprise as Piper stepped into the room. "I didn't expect to see you again tonight. Is Alex with you?" She peered behind the blonde hopefully, but Alex didn't appear, nor would she.

Piper prickled with annoyance; by now, she was sure Mrs Vause was calling her every P name under the sun except her own on purpose.

"It's Piper," she said, trying to smooth out her forehead as a frown forced its way onto her face. "My name is _Piper."_

"Sorry," Diane said, without a hint of remorse in her voice. She shrugged. "It's the drugs, you know...some pretty strong stuff."

"I see," Piper said, readjusting the strap on her backpack. "You should be careful with those. You know, my neighbor's son, he got addicted after back surgery...it's pretty common."

Diane regarded Piper carefully, tilting her head. "I won't get addicted."

"Well, no-one thinks they will," she replied. "But Alex needs a mom to look after her. She needs you to get better and take care of her." _Like you should have been doing all this time,_ she added inside of her head.

She replayed tossing that gun into the river, flinching as she heard the splash in her mind. Alex had looked terrified as she fished it out of her bag and Piper never wanted to see her look like that again. Any sympathy she'd had for Diane had withered and died the moment Piper had seen that black eye anyway.

When Diane offered nothing else up, Piper couldn't stop the question from spilling from her mouth.

"Why would you try and wrestle a loaded gun out of someone's hands?" Piper asked, her brow wrinkled. "It makes no sense! So yes, this is your mess! And Alex shouldn't be cleaning up after you yet she is - _again!_ "

"I didn't know it was loaded," Diane said in her defense, rubbing her temples as she sighed. "How was I supposed to _know_ that?"

"You always assume it's loaded!" Piper exploded, parroting back the words her Dad had always taught her. "Alex could have been killed."

Diane threw back her blanket, revealing a bundle of bandages. " _I_ could have been killed!"

"Don't you care?" Piper asked. "She's your daughter. Your only daughter. And yet she's been the adult for basically her whole life. Taking care of you. Making sure you're okay. Putting you first. You know that's backwards, right? It should be the other way round."

"She almost _killed_ me, aren't you listening?" Diane's voice grew dangerously loud.

"Lower your _voice!"_ Piper hissed back at her. "Just get yourself together, will you? As much as I don't understand it, Alex loves you. And I love Alex. _So_ with that being said, you and I need to work together."

"Work together?" Diane scoffed. "I wouldn't work with you if you were paying me!"

"Well, you might want to hear the offer before you turn it down," Piper snapped back. She took a deep breath to calm herself, reminding herself that this was Alex's _mom._ No matter what, Alex loved her, and that meant more than anything else right now.

Diane looked at Piper. "Go on then," she said quietly, a little v forming between her eyebrows. "Spit it out."

"My dad needs a cleaner for his office. It doesn't pay much but it's something. Something steady. And something to pay the damn bills so Alex doesn't have to."

"You know, Piper," Diane said, looking the blonde straight in the eye, "I never intended to fuck up this badly. I never _intended_ for Alex to have to pay the bills. I don't _want_ her to." Her voice was quiet.

"I know," Piper said, because she saw in Diane's eyes that she meant it, and she wondered how on earth she'd ever got this low down in the world, "And this is your chance to _prove_ it. Put your money where your mouth is."

"Okay," she said quietly. "When do I start?"

Piper softened, reaching out to touch Diane's arm. "When you're _better,"_ she said firmly. "Focus on getting better and _then_ get back to me. Okay?"

Diane nodded. "Okay."

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Hey guys. Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter, I appreciate them. It's been awhile, I know. I hope you enjoyed this update. Please let me know what you thought and what you'd like to see in the future.**

 **Hope you all had a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Happy New Year.**

 **\- Star xo**


	16. Chapter 16

Alex peered at Diane from the doorway, watching as her mother shakily applied makeup. She crossed her arms and leaned against the frame of the door, her brows knitting together.

"Are you _sure_ you want to do this, Mom?" Alex asked, her tone seeped in skepticism. She pressed her lips together. "You don't have to, you know. You can just focus on getting better right now. I have the rent covered. I mean, we might have to eat toast for dinner for a while, but still...we'd survive, we'd be okay."

Diane let out a sigh as she snapped the cap back onto the lipstick. "Allie…" she said, drawing out the word. "Paying the rent isn't your job. I'm supposed to look after you, not the other way around."

Alex nodded but it was food for thought because it sounded like she was parroting someone rather than actually believing the sentiment she was spouting - and she had a pretty good idea who. "Mm."

"Don't look so worried," Diane said, forcing brightness as she stood. "You know I've worked before? I know what I'm doing."

"You haven't worked for Mr Chapman before," Alex muttered. "I think that's a whole new ball game."

"Well, maybe I need a challenge," Diane said. "Chin up, hm? I'll be back before you're home from school. Mr Chapman says I can do half days until I'm totally healed from...well, you know." Diane's hand brushed down against her stomach which still flipped when anything came into contact with the gunshot wound, despite the fact that it was pretty much painless now, apart from the odd twinge.

"Phone me if anything goes wrong, won't you?" Alex insisted. She wondered if her mom had felt like this on her first day of school; all butterflies and knots in her stomach. "I'll be thinking about you today."

"Of course I will," Diane said with a nod. "Now scoot, will you? You'll be late for school."

 _Late for school?_ Alex inwardly scoffed. Diane probably didn't even know what school she went to. But nonetheless she nodded reluctantly and planted a kiss on her mother's cheek. She _was_ proud of her for getting a job, even if she suspected it was more Piper's doing.

Diane smiled confidently. "Have a good day, sweetie."

Alex grabbed her backpack and swung it over her shoulder, her gaze lingering on her mother. "Yeah, you too."

* * *

"You will be nice, won't you, Dad?" Piper asked anxiously. "Diane has only just come out of hospital, and-"

"Piper," Mr Chapman said, a sigh escaping. He raised his eyebrows at her. "I'll treat her fairly, just like every other one of my employees. I've had employees longer than you've been alive."

"Yes but you don't know what she's like," Piper admitted. "Just promise me you'll be kind to her, please? Diane and Alex need this. They haven't had much luck lately, and..."

Mr Chapman frowned at the mirror on the wall, fiddling with his tie. "And you don't want to fall out with her," he finished for her. Truthfully, he could have done without the hassle of a new employee all together. But he never could say no to his little girl and so he found himself in a predicament, and with another secretary.

"Right," Piper said. She wished she could explain the extent of their relationship, but her father wouldn't understand and he certainly wouldn't approve, so for now, he would have to try and understand without knowing the full picture. To his credit, he'd agreed to take Diane on without much persuasion. Piper was grateful; she just hoped Diane felt the same way and took it seriously.

"Well," Mr Chapman said, picking up his briefcase. "That's why we don't hire friends and family, Piper. Business rule number one: don't mix business and pleasure." He turned round to look at his daughter. "Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I know," Piper murmured. A little smile crept on her face. "Thanks for doing this, Daddy. You know I appreciate it."

Mr Chapman ruffled Piper's hair, a habit he'd never managed to break from when his daughter was a gap-toothed little kid in a baseball cap rather than a young woman who had spent an hour and a half curling her hair before coming downstairs this morning. She dodged him but gave him a grin in return.

"At least we'll have something to talk about over dinner," he lamented, pulling a face. "I don't think I can take another story about your mother's country club friends."

Piper feigned shock. "You mean you don't want to find out if Dawn went for the Chanel or the Birkin purse?"

* * *

"You might as well accept my help, because I'm not leaving," Nicky said, a stubborn look crossing her features. She leant against the counter top, scowling. "I'll even sweep the floors…"

Red looked heavenward. When Nicky had burst through the door this morning, she had hoped it was only to pick up breakfast on the way to school. But no, she had insisted that school was for losers and that she wasn't going. It was one battle Red didn't need this morning.

"You're going to school," Red said as she wiped down the counter ready to start the day. "I'm not negotiating. School isn't optional for anyone, not even you."

Nicky tilted her head. "If it's not optional," she said, her tone accusatory. "Why can you get kicked out?"

Red stopped cleaning and sighed, wringing her cloth. She knew Nicky had been kicked out of her first high school, but that had been different; Nicky hadn't liked that school, she hadn't liked the people and she hadn't liked the atmosphere. But she liked her new school, as much as a teenager liked any school, anyway.

"Is that what you're trying to do?" Red asked, just as accusingly as Nicky. She dropped her rag, placing her hands on her hips. "Get kicked out of school?"

Nicky stood up a little straighter, losing a little face. "I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to."

Nicky pressed her lips together. She hated that look in Red's eye; the disappointed, worn out stare that she saw in everyone else's eyes, but had never seen in Red's before. Through relapses and drug binges, Red had always been angry, but she hadn't ever been disappointed. Or more aptly, she had never voiced that she had been. On the contrary, she had always said how proud she was of Nicky for trying. An uneasy silence fell over the both of them.

"You're going to school," Red said finally. She glanced at the watch on her wrist. "You can still make it if you hurry."

Nicky opened her mouth, but Red held a finger up.

"You're more than welcome to come sweep the floors at three o'clock," she said, a twinkle in her eye. "I might even have a pastry ready for you then too."

A small smile lifted the corner of Nicky's mouth upwards. She'd had the same argument with Marka this morning with a much darker outcome, but somehow Red always got round her. Always convinced her to at least try to do the right thing.

"Fine," Nicky said after a beat, picking up her school bag. "But I'm not happy about it."

Red hid a smile. "To be fair, I never asked you to be happy about it."

Nicky pushed on the door, jangling the little bell above the door. "See you later, Red."

The older woman watched through the shop front window as Nicky got into her car and drove away. Of course she had no idea if she would actually _make_ it to school, but she was hopeful. She let out a little sigh of relief and sat heavily onto one of the stools. She would have been lying if she'd said she wasn't looking forward to three o'clock.

* * *

Piper pulled up to the corner where she usually picked up Alex to drive her to school. In the last few weeks they had settled into a routine, lulled into a sense of security by familiarity. It made getting up early just that little bit more bearable, and when it was hot out, driving with the windows open and music blasting felt like something out of a film scene. It was something magical. Something beautiful that reminded Piper that even if things weren't perfect, there was beauty in it nonetheless. Despite her anxiety about how her father would behave on Diane's first day, she couldn't help but tap her foot to the beat of a pop song coming through the radio.

She rifled in the glove box whilst she waited for Alex. After a moment or so she pulled out a pair of heart shaped sunglasses and slipped them on, resting her head back against the restraint. The sun glinted from the golden strands in her hair and warmed her neck as she stretched towards the light. She'd always loved the feeling of sunshine on her skin. She sighed contentedly as she basked. A day like today was no day for school, she thought.

As Alex trailed over to where Piper's car was parked, she stared at the blonde in the driver's seat. With her hair fanned out behind her dancing in the gentle breeze and her arms stretched up beside her head, she looked like a magazine spread came to life. She took a moment to appreciate the view and was struck by just how _peaceful_ Piper looked. It was one of the things Alex appreciated most in her. Even when things were going south, Piper remained calm. She found solutions for things. Now just looking at her, counting the tiny freckles painted on her arms by the new summer sun and watching as her fingers drummed absently to the beat drifting from the open windows of the car, it gave Alex a renewed sense of tranquility.

The sound of the door being yanked open jolted Piper upright. She let the sunglasses slide down her nose to make eye contact with Alex and offered her a smile brighter than the cloudless sky.

"Morning, sunshine!"

Alex chuckled as she slid into the seat next to Piper's. "Morning to you too."

"Isn't it a beautiful day?" Piper remarked as she started the engine up. She pushed the sunglasses to rest on the top of her head. "Way too pretty for-" she stopped short, cutting herself off.

Alex leant forward. "Way too pretty for what?"

"Nothing," Piper said, waving her off. She grabbed Alex's hand, squealing a little as she struggled to control the wheel with only one hand. "But I hope we play volleyball on the court today in gym. Can you imagine being stuck inside _all_ day?" Piper said it as if she could imagine nothing worse.

Alex smiled. "It's hardly all day," she reminded Piper. "We're only there till three. We could hit the beach after school."

"I know," Piper said with a shrug. "I just think days like today are too pretty to waste."

"You wanna ditch," Alex said after a beat. She looked up at Piper, who shook her head. Her earrings swung wildly as she did so, the tiny dangly crescent moons turned on their axis.

"No," Piper said. "I never said that."

Alex leant back in her seat with a laugh. "You didn't have to."

"I didn't want to say anything because of your scholarship," she admitted after a moment. "I know how important it is for you to stay on top of things. And it's okay. I'd rather be in math with you than lounging on a beach without you."

"It is important," Alex agreed. She swiped Piper's sunglasses from the top of her head and rested them on her own nose. "Buuut….one day isn't going to hurt, is it?"

There was no way she'd be able to concentrate in class anyway, not without thinking of Diane. And she couldn't remember the last time she'd been to the beach. Certainly not in the last five years at the very least.

"I haven't been to the beach in _years,"_ Alex continued, stretching her fingertips to the sky. "I've forgotten what sand feels like between my toes." She looked over at Piper hopefully. "But we shouldn't, right? Because of school?"

Piper hesitated for a moment. The turning for school was coming up and she had to think fast. With a quick flick of her wrist she turned on the left indicator. "Fuck it. The beach it is."

* * *

Turns out, sand between your toes was little more than an annoyance. Piper didn't seem to mind it as she took off down the deserted beach front, but Alex tiptoed across it behind her. A sea breeze whipped their hair into a messy frenzy and Alex laughed as Piper threw herself into the waves.

"How is it?" Alex called, jogging down to join her by the water. She plopped herself down just short of the waves.

"Refreshing," Piper laughed as she splashed a little at Alex. "Guess I should have enjoyed the beautiful day on the shore."

"Like I'll be doing," Alex said with a raise of her eyebrows. "Come on. Come sit with me." She patted the sand next to her. As Piper emerged from the sea, shaking her hair off like a wet dog, Alex drew patterns in the sand.

Piper sat down next to Alex, dripping wet but smiling, and leant against her. "I wish we had more time like this," the blonde admitted. "It hardly ever happens."

"Like what?" Alex asked, resting her cheek against Piper's head.

"Like _this,"_ Piper repeated. "Like sitting together. Being together. Even…" she stopped for a moment and then locked lips with Alex quickly. She pulled away as quickly as she had leant in. "Like that."

It shouldn't have been anything particularly remarkable. It was a tiny act of affection, a bashful little peck like those between kids playing kiss chase. Yet Piper's heart fluttered as she pulled away and Alex felt her stomach flip. Because it was the first time Piper had kissed her in public, in daylight, in full view of anyone. Of course, they were miles away from anyone they knew and the beach was practically a ghost town on a weekday, but it was a milestone nonetheless.

Alex smiled easily and tucked a straggly strand of Piper's hair behind her ear. "It _could_ be like that all the time," she said a little reproachfully. "You just…" she shook her head. "Never mind. Let's just enjoy the sunshine here together."

"No," Piper said, lacing her fingers in Alex's. "I know what you were going to say and you're right. We could be like that all the time. And I'm sorry that I'm not. I just...I'm not ready."

Alex looked away. She watched as seagulls circled clouds and wished she could be that free. "Mhm."

Piper loosened her grip on Alex's hand. "You understand, don't you? You've met my parents. Can you imagine my mom? My _grandmother?"_ The panic was evident in Piper's voice. "They wouldn't understand. And then I might not be able to see you at all. I couldn't do that, Al."

Alex sighed but softened. "Of course I understand. I just wish it could be different too."

"We have today, don't we?" Piper said, her voice rising hopefully. She suddenly brightened. "And if you could do anything, what would you do?"

"Build a sandcastle," Alex replied without thinking. Her cheeks tinged pink and she let out a little embarrassed laugh. "Sorry, that was stupid."

"No it wasn't," Piper reassured her. She hopped up, brushing the sand from her legs. "I was the _queen_ of building sandcastles when I was younger. It sounds fun, actually."

"Really?" Alex asked, though she wasn't surprised; Piper was the self-professed queen of most things. She scrunched up her nose to push her glasses up. "From what I can remember mine looked like shit."

From the ground still, Alex gathered sand together, mashing it into a small mound. Piper watched quizzically from her standing position and giggled as the pile disintegrated as waves washed over it.

"What are you doing?" Piper asked, still chuckling. "You're too close to the shore and you have no tools."

"...tools?"

"Yeah!" Piper grabbed Alex's hand and yanked her up. "See that little beach hut? I bet they sell buckets and spades. Wait here, I'll be right back."

Alex watched as Piper ran over to the small vendor and pointed at a small bucket and spade which he handed over. Her mom would have never had the money to waste on plastic toys that would get used once a year. Piper bounded back over to her, running barefoot across the sand.

"Here," she said. "Pack the sand in there and we'll have our foundation. Make sure you get the sand a little wet first or it'll fall apart. Oh, and remember don't go too near the water."

Alex rolled her eyes as she took the little plastic bucket, but did as Piper said. She gave a little salute. "Yes, boss."

Piper grinned. "If you're gonna do something, do it well!"

"Is that the Chapman motto?" Alex asked, scooping sand into the bucket lazily. "I thought that might be: win or die trying."

"We have a lot of family mottoes," Piper said, settling down in the sand next to Alex. "But I don't wanna talk about my family right now."

It didn't take long before their sandcastle took shape. Piper let Alex take the lead despite the itching under her skin to intervene, and after a while, they had something that at least resembled a castle. After setting the last bucketful of sand down, Alex sat back and admired her creation. Piper studied her face carefully.

"Well," Piper said. "What do you think?"

Alex tilted her head. "I think it still kinda looks like shit," she laughed. She looked at Piper. "Do you wanna destroy it?"

Piper let out a wicked laugh. "I thought you would never ask."

Alex stuck out her leg and destroyed one turret whilst Piper swiped across the base with her arm. They jumped up, hands clasped together, and danced on the ruins of their castle. Hair flew wildly as they hopped around, Piper twirling on the spot and Alex pirouetting across the shore. As seagulls screeched above their heads, they collapsed together on the sand.

"Do you want an ice cream?" Piper asked, rolling over to lay on her tummy. She rested her chin on her elbows, kicking her legs so that she splashed the waves that barely reached them. "I think I want an ice cream."

"I always want ice cream," Alex said, mirroring Piper's pose on the sand. Their noses touched as they soaked up the sunlight. She let out a little giggle. "You have sand all over you. _."_

"I know." Piper kicked her legs up, causing her peach tennis skirt to fly up too. "Trust me, it is _everywhere."_

"That's why you wear jeans," Alex said, her nose wrinkling at the thought of sand in rather uncomfortable places.

"You'd rather I was wearing jeans?" Piper asked. She jumped up again, twirling so that her skirt fanned around her causing somewhat of a Marilyn moment. "I think I look cute."

Alex laughed at her confidence. "You do," she assured her, coming to a stand and grabbing Piper's hands in her own. "But you'd look cute in jeans too."

"Not as cute as you do," Piper said, pressing her cheek against Alex's. "Anyway. About that ice cream…"

"Is that all you've been thinking about this whole time?"

"Pretty much," Piper admitted. "You know me too well."

Alex grinned and let out another laugh. How long had it been since she'd laughed as much? How long since she'd felt as free as she did now? She hadn't even been thinking about anything but sand, sea, and ice cream. Was this what it felt like to be a kid?

"Let me get this one," Alex said, reaching down for her jacket on the sand. Her phone fell from where it had been nestled into the jacket. She had a couple of dollars in the pocket, she was sure…

"No, I can get it," Piper insisted, putting her hand over Alex's as she fished in her pocket. "I want vanilla ice cream with strawberry sauce, what do you want?"

"Huh," Alex said, picking up her phone from where she'd abandoned it along with her shoes and jacket. Suddenly the ice cream seemed less important. "I have three missed calls from Diane."

"Weird." Piper's brow wrinkled. She flipped over her own phone which had been sitting face down in the sand. Swallowing hard, she looked up at Alex. "And I've got two from my dad."

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Hi lovelies. I hope you're all safe and healthy at this challenging time. I'm sorry this took so long but I've already started on the next chapter so all going well I will update soon. I know sometimes a fic can be a little bit of escapism. Anyway, please let me know what you thought and what you'd like to see in a review.**

 **Stay safe.**

 **\- Star xo**


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